my best friend → {Sugawara x Reader}

its not your fault

It's been 3 months since the whole Kai situation. You ended up telling your parents and you pressed charges against Kai. He only got 6 months in jail but as long as he was gone that's all you cared about. You were mentally affected by what happened but you were trying to heal. You started going to therapy which helps but how much talking can you do to get rid of the pain.

You didn't go to school for awhile

You have been staying at home with your parents more often since your they took off of work for a while. But now they have to travel to the states for a week.

"Will you be okay sweetie by yourself"

"Yes mom if anything ill just go to Daichi's I'll be fine it's been months"

"Okay baby remember to call of anything"

"I know love you guys"

You hugged your parents and then they left. You went into the living room and started watching tv. You never really liked being alone, but lately it seems like you have been the center of attention with the incident and the trial it was a lot for everyone.

Having to pull suga asahi and Daichi into these problems was the worse part. You still thought sometimes it was your fault although everyone tells you it wasn't.

꧁❦꧂

You got up after a couple of hours and went to got take a shower. After you got out you detangled and braided your hair to put on your bonnet.

You sat at your desk to finish up your homework and played sza in the backround. When you finished you turned the music down a little to go to sleep. You drifted off to sleep pretty quickly.

"Kai....KAI......KAI PLEASE STOP...help me"

You shot your eyes open and jumped up. You were breathing heavy and tried to calm yourself down as you sat there. Once you calmed down you went downstairs to to get some water.

You haven't had any nightmares of that night since last month, you thought they were gone but apparently not. You went back upstairs to try and go back to sleep but you couldn't, all you did was lay there staring at the ceiling. You picked up your phone and saw that is was 2 am

You thought to call Daichi but you knew he would not answer or curse you out for calling him this late and you wouldn't dare wake up asahi. So you called suga. The phone rang for awhile until he answered

"What"

"Rude....what happened to hello..how are you"

"It's 2 in the morning what do you want"

"Can you come over"

"If you wanted to do something you should have started off with that, I'll be over in 20"

Before you could say anything he hung up. You went downstairs and waited for him in the living room.

꧁❦꧂

You heard a loud knock on the door so you got up to go answer it. When you opened the door a happy suga greeted you. He walked past you without saying anything and took off his jacket. You closed the door and turned around.

"So where are we doing this, your room, living room, what about the bathroom that was fun last time"

"Wha..what are you talking about I just wanted a friend here"

He rolled his eyes and walked towards the kitchen. "I thought you wanted some...why else would you call me and 2 am" he said as he looked through the cabinet taking out some chips. He ate some as you stared at him with a straight face.

"So why am I here because its not to sleep together"

"Why would I all of a sudden call you for that it's been 2 years"

"I'm amazing at what I do I don't know why you haven't called me"

You rolled your eyes and walked out the kitchen as he followed you.

"I can't call my bestfriend to hang out at 2 am" you said sitting on the couch facing suga as he sat next to you " oh please we all know Daichi is your bestfriend and then I'm not even second that's asahi your "mOcHi". You laughed at the way he mocked you when you say mochi.

"Aww is someone jealous"

"As If "

You guys sat in silence as the tv played your favorite movie. "I had a nightmare"
You said pausing the movie facing suga again. "About?" You took a deep breath before speaking

"About Kai and that night"

"Is that why you called me over"

"Yea I couldn't go back to sleep...I'm sorry"

"It's fine I was awake anyway"

"No I mean I'm sorry for everything, for not believing you, for pushing you guys away, and just being a bad friend over all"

"Y/n you don't have to apologize for anything it's not your fault"

"I'm sick of everyone saying that, I made choices with my own free will, not everything was decided by him" you said getting upset

"Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not I'm just saying not everything was his fault"

"You sound crazy"

You thought what you said made perfect sense. You felt at fault for somethings that happened and you couldn't shake it from your mind sense everything went down.

"I'm not crazy"

"How can you sit here and blame yourself for being manipulated, hit and sexual assaulted "

"Maybe-"

Suga got up and you could see him getting angry

"There are no maybe's, he was a terrible person what is it going to take for you to realize that. There was a trial and everything did you see any remorse on his face as you cried trying to tell the judge what happened....no"

"Stop yelling at me" You looked at him with a worried/scared expression and you kept on eyeing his hands. He noticed as you shifted away from him.

"You think I going to hit you, this is what I mean he did this, and I can't be hear listening to you blame yourself"

Suga walked away to go to the front door.
"Suga wait" you called out following him. He ignored you until he opened the door.

"You apologized for pushing us away but seeing you still blame yourself 3 months later after everything..that hurts even more" he said in a low hurt tone

He walked out and slammed the door, leaving you their. Again you fucked up and it was your fault.