A Heart's Safe Haven

4: Taking The Initiative

She stood in the midst of the secure silence of the night, her long hair falling at her sides. Her tearful eyes looked up at the sky. The moon was full and circular, its beauty soothing. Its light made the tears sliding down her cheeks glimmer like little gems, but they were nothing compared to the beauty of the stars. They littered the late night sky, making its beauty more startling. 

However, even the beauty of the night could not diminish the thoughts running through Maureen's mind. Neither could it extinguish the anguish that was eating away at her. Her once flawless skin was now colored with dark hateful hues of blue, purple and some gruesome specs of grey. Dark fingerprints were imprinted on her neck and for once she allowed the pain and heartbreak she felt to mirror in her eyes. Never should a person have the favour of feeling safe only in the depths of darkness. 

Regardless of the violence afflicted at her just a few hours ago, her thoughts were selfless. Instead of worrying about herself, she only worried about the fate of her daughter. A sob erupted the silence when the sight of a crying Lana flashed before her eyes. She couldn't comprehend why a father would treat his baby girl so harshly. But Maureen had known all along that Matthew would one day start abusing his daughter too. She wished that she had prevented him from lashing out at the six year old. Just the fresh memory of his palm striking her face made fresh tears well up in her eyes.  

Unfortunately Maureen had just lay on the floor, her battered body numb and helpless. Her strength at that moment could rightfully be compared to the strength of a dead person. She had no power. Nor did she have control over her body. For if she had had even the tiniest control over her body, she would have inched forward and covered her daughter's body with her own. A cry escaped her chapped lips when her eyes glazed with the memory of Matthew relentlessly slapping his daughter. Lana's screams echoed in her ears and she shuddered as she straightened with conviction. 

With faith Maureen looked up at the serene sky. 

God, I know You're there. With those simple words her prayer began.  

I have absolute faith in You, I believe that You're watching me right now and listening to my prayer, my plea to You. So God, please, please, ease all my difficulties and protect Lana. Oh God, she's only a child. She's my baby, the only person besides You who I love with all my heart. But You are the only one I can depend upon, I have complete conviction that You'll accept my prayer. Because You are the Creator, and have love for Your creation. You would never turn You're back to a sincere prayer. Protect her, my Lord. Do what's best for us. 

With a heavy heart and remorseful eyes, Maureen made her way to her bedroom. Luckily for her, she did not have to walk past Matthew's room and worry about waking him up. Her room was the last one in the corridor, next door to Lana's room. The two rooms were connected through the bathroom they shared. 

Maureen softly opened the door to Lana's bedroom first, wanting to check in on her. There her daughter lay on the large bed, fit for a princess. Through her marriage to Matthew, Maureen's understanding for the words: 'Money cannot buy happiness' had grown vastly. 

Her eyes once again filled with tears and she shook her head, tiptoeing to her daughter's bed. Lana's gorgeous blond locks were spread out on the baby pink pillow her head rested on. Her arms were wrapped around a cute teddy Maureen had won for her when they went to the fair years back. Maureen smiled at the memory. Lana had only been three years old, an eager little beaver to go to the fair. Matthew was also accompanying them unfortunately. Of course he would have never accompanied them in the first place if it wasn't for the fact his friends were going too. 

Maureen had to suffer through Matthew openly flirting with his lady friends, but she had grown used to it. She was grateful that Lana had little understanding about her father's doings. Other than Matthew's outlandish behavior, the night had passed perfectly. 

Or it had passed perfectly until they were in the privacy of their home. Then Matthew's rage was wrongly unleashed on her. He accused her of flirting with his colleagues, when all she had done was smile at them politely and greet them. She had found it ironic that he accused her of doing what he had been doing all along. At that point she had started to understand that Matthew just wanted a reason to get mad at her.  

Why, she had no idea. 

With a heavy, exhausted sigh Maureen flopped down on the fluffy white carpet with little grace. She softly stroked Lana's hair, careful not to wake her. A darkening bruise colored her cheek and even in her sleep she looked puzzled.  

Why did daddy hit me? Aren't I meant to be his princess? Daddy's mean. 

Lana's earlier words echoed in Maureen's mind and tears slid down her cheeks. She leaned forward, placing her head besides Lana's on the soft pillow. Her tears dampened the pillowcase as she slowly drifted into a deep sleep. 

Where was she? Maureen was confused. Early childhood memories hit her as she started to recognize the place she was in. The foster home that she had lived in when she was just a wee little child and had only moved out a little while before marrying Matthew. She had missed this place. 

Like she owned the home, she sauntered into the kitchen. As expected all the other girls that lived in the home were in the kitchen too. They were all crowded around a freshly baked batch of chocolate chip cookies that smelled of heaven. 

In a daze, all the girls began to flash out of the kitchen until it was empty. Then she walked in. The woman she had considered to be her mother in the time she lived in the foster home. She was the person that made living in the foster home bearable. If it weren't for her, Maureen would have never had any happy moments in her childhood. 

Then a memory flashed before Maureen. 

"Linda, I suppose you know by now I'll be leaving."

"Yes Maureen sweetie, but I don't think it's a good idea, getting married at such a young age. You don't even know that man very well." 

"But Linda, I love him." 

"But that's what you think Maureen. What if you're so desperate for someone to love that you're deceiving yourself? That's too common these days. The truth is you might really be in love, and that Matthew may really be a good man. What I want is for you to give this matter a bit more thought." 

"Oh Linda, I know it's love! What else can this strong a feeling be? He's so perfect, I know that you'll absolutely love him." 

"Oh Maureen sweetheart, you've always been this stubborn. Well, the most this old woman can do is pray that that Matthew is really the good man you think him to be." 

"Thanks Linda. You're awesome! Your support really means a lot to me and Matthew is really just so..." 

"Alright darling. You really are in love aren't you. Or you think you are." 

"I know I am!" 

"Okay sweetie, okay. But if anything messes up, don't let your pride get in the way and contact me." 

Linda handed the young naïve girl who thought she was in love a small piece of paper that had her address and number written on it. 

"You can always come to me for help Maureen, always. Whether after a few months or a dozen years, my love for you will always remain."

"Thanks Linda, but I will never need anyone's help while I have Matthew." 

But Maureen tucked the paper into her sweater's pocket, feeling the need to keep it safe. 

Maureen's eyes flickered open, slowly. Parts of her dream built up in her mind, slowly fitting together like a puzzle. She had completely forgotten about that paper. It was time to use it. And she wouldn't let her pride get in the way, because it was her daughter's safety she was worried about.