"C'mon Emma, let's just get it over, we've done it so many times before in rehearsal." Benjamin whined as if he actually wanted to kiss me. I knew he didn't want to kiss his three time ex girlfriend. It was something suggestable, yet something I thought I would vomit right after.
"I know but we were at school, and aren't you still with that British girl that naturally has bitch face?" I questioned in a tone that now as I think back, sounded like jealousy as fresh as a summer breeze. I moved closer to him because he seemed so far away. With every step I took closer to him, it seemed to make the room bigger, like I was floating out of orbit.
"Her name is Leigh, and no, we've been over since last week, now focus just lean in and kiss me." Benjamin answered with a sound of irritation. We have been trying to get pass the kissing scene of the play for an hour now, and it seemed like not even scientists would figure out why. I wanted to kiss him, but I wanted something to happen afterwards. I wanted him to realise that we could give it another try.
"Why do I have to lean in, I am the girl after all." I said as Benjamin stared in amazement. I couldn't tell what he was thinking about. All I ever wanted to know is what he was thinking about, and before I could even open my mouth to ask him, he kissed me, and it felt magical at the time. Hours had seem to pass us faster than they were.
I tried to pull away, but he became addicted to me, and went in for another. This time I was more confident. So I had wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands found my waist. My heart was speeding up, I remember feeling like I was finally alive. As if I was dying without him, and he was my life support. I wanted him to love me again, and in these moments I actually felt like he did. The more I deepened the kiss, the more he seemed to love me again. I felt complete, I thought I was the only person on his mind. Until he pulled away from me, and walked over to my bed and sat down in silence. I stood there, debating if I should cry. Eventually I can to the conclusion it wasn't worth it. But I wanted him to love me, I was broken without him. He was the one who had always protected me, since we were little, but he wasn't the same.
I walked backwards from where I was standing until I hit the wall, and slid down it hopelessly. I couldn't process what just happened, I couldn't even think. All I could do was stare at him, still sitting on my bed on his phone as if nothing happened. I didn't understand how he could love a girl for five minutes then pretend nothing happened, I still don't.
