The Lonely Prince(BWMN)Book 3 of The House Of Jensen Series)

Grief

⚠️This chapter deals with the after effect of a miscarriage it's some what graphic. Not too much but a warning non the less.⚠️

Eva's POV

Today I lost my baby telling my dad and seeing his face at the loss of his grandchild made me feel even worse. Williams's dad took it the hardest of our parents. Like William he was looking forward to something positive happening in the family. Tomorrow William and I are going to my family's private island I'm glad we're going there. I don't need people constantly telling me how sorry they're about my baby. I'm determined to get pregnant as soon as possible again. My engagement announcement will change my life completely. Which means I can focus on something else other than my loss.

There's a part of me that thinks at least you didn't feel him or her move that would have made your pain ten times worse. Then I feel bad for thinking it. I was very surprised when I learnt I was pregnant but was so happy about it. I see my friends with their husbands and children and I wanted that desperately. Losing my baby has really bought it home to me how much I want a family.

I'm going to be Princess Eva of Denmark and I'm expected to produce an heir and a spare. The truth is I now want three children. I know I can never replace my lost child but I need to see three kids.

William draws me closer to him in bed and I want to move away from him. Then I remember this is William who for seven years has always been kind to me. He loves me and I loved him from before we started dating and he has just lost his child, sister and mother. I can't make him feel like he's losing me too.

I turn in bed and draw him closer to me needing to be as close to him as possible because he makes me feel safe.

The next morning I shower and put a pad in my underwear . Since I was only six weeks pregnant when I miscarriaged the doctor suggested doing expectant management.  It means the tissue passes out naturally  meaning every time I change my pad I'm reminded of what I've lost. The bleeding should stop in a week or just over a week according to the doctor.

I look at myself in the mirror I'm exhausted and I'm cramping and don't want to face the world. I wash my hands and walk into our bedroom and change into a yellow dress. I want a sunny bright colour on me it's my camouflage.

"Morning darling how's the cramping?"

"About the same", I answer William.

"A OBGYN doctor is coming with us to the private island. It's a female she has an assistant and she has spoken to your father. He's arranged to have some medical equipment delivered to a room in the house".

"That's good I just want to go on holiday and heal for now".

"That's what you will do what we will both do".

"Thank you", he draws me to him and kisses my forehead.

We arrived in Bali and are driven to my family's mansion. Since we own the island privacy was guaranteed from those that live there.

I slept a lot for the first couple of days and on the third morning I woke up to see William silently crying. I sometimes forget that he's grieving and hurting too. I'm dealing with the physical and emotional symptoms of losing my baby. Which means I'm constantly reminded of the loss . When I change a sanitary towel or feel cramping.

I sit up and hug him, "Its okay cry out loud you lost our child too. I think we should have a memorial for him or her when my bleeding is over".

William takes my hand in his and kisses it, "That's a lovely idea should we do it here or Denmark?"

"Since he or she will be completely gone from my body when I'm here let's do it here".

So that's what we did we plant a tree for our little one and had a local priest say a prayer for our baby. The doctor and I spoke a lot while we were in Bali.  I decided to have counselling when I get back to Denmark.

The last week in Bali I show William around the island, "This place is amazing your father has done a good job. Thousands of people live here and the island is self sufficient and the hospital was state of the art".

"This place is my family's home away from home I can show you the tree I scrapped my knee on when I was five. The second generation owned restaurant that does the best lobster roll ever".

"Why don't you show me the tree and I want to taste the best lobster roll ever".

I show William the island through my eyes then we end our tour in the seafood shack having lobster rolls.

That afternoon I had a scan to make sure there was no leftover tissue in my womb. That would required me taking a table to expel it or having surgery.

"Everything looks great ma'am".

I smile brightly at the doctor this means there's no complications and I can start to get pregnant again soon. William and I decide we would wait till we marry to try for another baby. I wasn't going to go back on the pill since we were told it may take some time to get pregnant again. My menstrual cycle is going to take a while to go back to normal apparently .

When we left the hospital I shower and changed into a black bikini and lay by the pool with William.

"In three days our engagement will be announced and we will have to do a photo shoot and interview are you sure you're up to this?"

I stand in front of William,  "I'm sure I'm okay with the new changes. This will be something positive in my life. Yes it's weird that I've gone through a miscarriage and have to smile and laugh for the tv cameras. You forget I love you and I'm happy to be getting married to you. You and I can grieve and still have happiness in our life".

"Your incredible you know that".

"You're not so bad yourself promise me you'll come to some of my counselling sessions and participate. In the forums I've been in the men haven't been very supportive".

"I'll be there".

Three days later we were in Denmark taking pictures after our engagement announcement was made. I smile at the sea of press taking our pictures. Afterwards we sat down with a tv reporter for an interview.

"Your Royal Highness, Ms Brown lovely to have you both here. Why don't we start with how you two met".

I look at William and he starts to speak, "We met seven years ago.  As you're aware Eva is one of the best friends of my cousin the Crown Princess".

"Was it love at first sight?" The reporter ask us.

"It was but we were too shy to do anything about it for a very long time", I answered the reporter.

"Why did it take so long?" She ask.

"I wanted her to live her dreams and finish studying accounting", William takes my hand and kisses it.

"You waited for her how romantic".

After the interview William and I had lunch with his family, "I remember my engagement shoot day I was so nervous".

I look at Debbie I don't see her as often as I did before since she was now extremely busy as a future queen. Maybe because I'm soon to be a member of the House of Jensen I will see her more. We talk on the phone a lot still several times a week which I'm happy about.

I realised she was waiting for me to answer, "William made it easy for me Your highness".