Bully.

p a r t . s i x

                                                              How far does YOUR GED get you?

I'm not sure if there is a scientific reason for the slow passing of an hour when you're packed tightly into a 30 by 30 room filled with teenagers who may or may not have showered the night before, but I was quickly convincing myself that there was accurate scientific backing for the phenomenon. There was absolutely no way in hell that a teacher could lecture about so much in just a 50 minute class period but it was some how managed day after day.

I'm also sure that for a regular student (regular meaning they had friends and actual motivation to come to school) school was a boring, desolate place. But for me? It was my own personal, hand-tailored hell. Most people actively avoided me and I had gotten so used to it I'm sure a small of me avoided them too. But school lasted so much longer when you had no one to talk. And it surely was lonely.

I shuffled with my head down to and from classes, expertly avoiding paths that would introduce me to Chelsea or anyone who would make this hell worse than it already was. Fortunately for me I have the world's greatest luck and as I quickly made my way towards the lunch room, I found myself silently sliding into line behind Chelsea and her (our) friends. Because I am simutaniously stupid and prideful I didn't move from the line, instead I picked at a loose thread on my sweater.

Being invisible had its perks, I do have to admit. No one sees you as they scour the school for whoever they're gossiping about so while poor Madelyn didn't know that Anne Marter was sleeping with Madelyn's boyfriend, I did.

Unfortunately, as Chelsea did her sweep of the student body before she started her gossip, her brown eyes landed on a very terrified me. It takes a lot to scare me but something about her, the anger she has towards me, makes me piss myself everytime she rests her heavy gaze on me.

"Well if it isn't the fucking hermaphrodite.' She sneered.

"Don't use such big words Chels, it probably doesn't know what that means."  Blond, tall, and insecure crooned from Chelsea's side. Chelsea pursed her lips, a smirk gracing them, and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Poor thing probably doesn't." The fake concern practically dripped from her words and they sent knives into my guts.

"You're right about the poor part." Someone muttered from behind her. I don't know why, but I was frozen. Every nerve in my body screamed for me to move, every cell in my brain told mewhat an idiot I was for not leaving as soon as I recognized them but for the life of me I couldn't move my feet.

Move dammit! Just turn around and walk away! Just get the fuck away from them! My mind was whirrling with commands but my body refused to listen as they continued their verbal onslaught.

"Aw I think we hurt her feelings!" There was a smile in the voice and it wasn't until my body flushed with embarassment that I realized I was crying. I sniffled and slowly moved a hand to brush my cheek. This seemed to break the spell I was under and I turned to leave.

"Oh no you don't, we aren't done with you yet." There was no degrading tone in her voice, only malice and an unquenchable hate that I couldn't understand. Her hand was wrapped tightly around my wrist.

"Please," I begged, voice weak. "Just let me go, please I didn't ask for any of this." Chelsea laughed, rich and furious.

"Like hell you didn't, Hannah. You know exactly what you did and I will never forgive you for it." I shook my head desperately, face hot with tears.

I wanted to plead, I wanted to demand that she hear me out, that she explain exactly why she hated me and was hell bent on ruining my life. But I didn't. After her previous outburst the grip on her wrist had lessened and I used it to wrip free and run as fast from them as I could. I didn't know where to go, they would follow if I ran to the bathroom but there was no where else to go so I tried to ignore the sticky sheet of humidity that clung to the walls as I entered. I ran into the closest stall, slamming the door and locking it before falling onto the toilet seat.

I cried for what seemed like hours. Girls came and went but no one paid attention or offered their condolences as I cried myself raw. Even after I ran dry on tears, I sat shivering in the stall, the embarassment fresh in my mind.

I didn't care how many times they told me it got better, I was having a hard time seeing the truth.

--

wait what? it's been two years since I last updated? HAHA wow. um, I guess I should say I'm sorry but I remember having such a dream for this book and then ya know, life happened. I don't really remember what I was going to do with this story but there really isn't any harm trying to continue it, or at least update every few months (or  year) honestly though guys, reading all your comments about how you can relate to this makes me want to at least try to write it. even though I started this when I was 15 and I am now 18 (wowowow) I really appreciate all the kind words and message I get and I really think that I should try to write this for you guys.

I'm sure Hannah is out of character but it's so hard to channel who she was supposed to be when I'm basically starting over and am reinventing her character. But I'm trying, so PLEASE tell me what you guys think (:

xoxo