Soukoku ~short story~ DazaixChuuya

Motel Room fluff

What am I doing? What did I just do? Chuuya's mind is swimming in circles. Should he get up and leave? That would probably be for the best, but he's already made so many bad decisions tonight, so what's one more?

He knows in his chest that this will be the last time he sees Dazai for a long time, and can't bring himself to get up.

"I'm staying," Chuuya finally gives the dark-haired boy an answer, bracing for a smartass response.

"Then at least take off your shoes, dummy," Dazai's playful voice drifts through the fabric of the bedspread like a warm song. Why does he suddenly sound like himself again? Chuuya feels the end of the bedspread rise, letting in a draft. He closes his eyes tightly, trying to savor the moment. 

"I can do that myself," the ginger boy says but makes no real protest as he feels tugging on his legs as Dazai's long fingers begin undoing his shoelaces and slip the loafers off his feet. He hears them clunk to the ground, and the bedspread falls back over him. Moments later, he feels the brunette's weight shift the mattress as Dazai crawls his way under the sheets next to his petite counterpart.

"Can't you sleep in the other bed?" Chuuya grumbles.

"Why? Afraid you can't resist making another move on me Chuuyaaa?" 

The smaller boy feels his entire body relax at once, the familiarity of their bickering easing his nerves, despite what he knows is coming in the morning. 

Chuuya bolts up from beneath the blanket to stare daggers into the tall man lying in bed next to him. "Shut up, asshole! You didn't exactly put up a fight-"

"Of course not," a sly smile spreads across Dazai's lips, his large bedroom eyes roaming over to the smaller boy's flushed face. "How could I?"

 Chuuya's heart leaps- is he actually?   

"--how could I with you crying like a little baby," the brunette finishes.

"Whyyy you...! Asshole!" The ginger picks up a pillow, slamming it into Dazai's face.

"What are you getting so worked up about Chuuyaaa?" The smaller boy stares down onto Dazai's alluring face, whose brown locks are now handsomely tousled from the pillow attack.

Chuuya racks his brain for a clever retort- but draws a blank. What he really wants is to ask his question again: Why are you leaving me? but knows the brown-haired boy wouldn't answer him. "Nothing, you're just annoying as hell, shitty Dazai."

The ginger boy lays back down, turning away from his partner, ex-partner.

"Oh come on, don't be like thattt, this is our last night together for a while you know," Dazai's voice is teasing, crawling underneath Chuuya's skin and eating away at his nerves one by one.

"Yeah, I know that! So why won't you tell me what the hell is going on, Dazai!?" Chuuya's voice comes out louder than he'd meant for it to. The ginger boy closes his eyes tightly, trying to compose himself. 

There is a long pause.

"Chuuya, please, can you just- be yourself tonight. I need it." Dazai's smooth voice flows into the air of the small motel room, creating a wave, a momentary lapse in reality.

Chuuya's body physically flinches at the dark-haired boy's words. He is still facing away from him but can tell he was being dead serious- for once. What's going on with him? Have I made things worse for him tonight? Chuuya feels guilt peck at him for not considering that his ex-partner might have a legitimate reason for leaving the Port Mafia. But so what if he does? It's still clear that I mean nothing to him. Even so, I'm going to do what he says- I'm a fucking dumbass.

"Fine. I guess I can entertain your sorry ass for one more night." Chuuya feels Dazai's smile even with his back turned.

"That's my little ray of sunshine!" Dazai cooes.

"But I'm gonna need you to promise me one thing first," Chuuya rolls over to face the tall boy, making sure he is paying attention before he speaks.

"Well, that depends-" the brunette starts to make a joke, but sees his partner's blue eyes as he turns over: they are swollen from crying, sadness still lingering behind them, and they bore into him with a type of intensity he isn't used to seeing in Chuuya, and it makes his mind dance.

"I don't know what's going on, but I'm gonna need you to promise me you won't hurt yourself."

 Chuuya's words are firm, and Dazai feels their seriousness resonate deep within him somewhere. He wants to reassure Chuuya that of course he wouldn't but knows he can't really promise that.  He could tell Chuuya that those words do mean a lot to him, but even that would be too much of an admission. 

Reaching for one of the brunette's long arm, Chuuya pulls it from beneath the covers, sliding his index finger across the other boy's palm and beneath his bandages, stroking the hidden wrist lightly. He feels Dazai tense up just slightly under his touch. He's never known if the bandages were related to his odd suicide obsession, but he can't risk not saying anything, not when he can't be around to look out for him anymore. The pair stay that way for a moment, arm in hand, waiting on the brunette's answer.

"Well of course not! You know I plan to die with a beautiful woman- and finding one willing to commit double suicide with me is sure to take me years-" 

Chuuya wants to tell the brown-haired boy not to make jokes, that he was serious, that he couldn't stand it if he were to hurt himself but knows Dazai well enough to know this was as serious of an answer as he was going to get.

"Now that that's cleared up, what are we going to do with our evening Chuuya?" Dazai is now smiling his usual devilish smile as if everything up to this point had never happened. I wish I was half the actor he is, the ginger boy thinks.

"You tell me Dazai, we both know you'll decide no matter what I say." Chuuya sighs in defeat, preparing to give in to whatever the brown-haired boy is about to demand, but Dazai does something that surprises him.

The ginger boy hadn't realized he was still holding onto the bandaged arm until it is moving towards him and the palm attached to it is cupping his cheek. "Whatever I want?" Dazai smiles, and Chuuya's heart collapses into his gut.