Protected - Upstead

Protected

It was a normal thing now for Hailey to stay at Jay's place or for her to stay the night at his. It was their new normal, not wanting to be away from each other, wanting to be as close as possible at all times. Hailey knew Jay used to have nightmares, he had talked about having them before, she didn't know he still had them though.

It was just like every other night after work for them, Jay and Hailey on one of their couches, it was at Hailey's this time, eating whatever takeout they had ordered that night, and a show they were watching playing on the TV. The night ended as it always does with them cuddled up in bed, Haileys head resting on Jay's chest listening to his heart beat, drawing lines with her fingers on his chest, like playing dot to dot with his freckles. After a little while, the pair had both fallen asleep in each other's arms.

It was peaceful, for a time, until Jay shot up, around three am waking up Hailey in the process as well. His breathing was heavy, and a layer of sweat shined on his skin, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Jay? Jay, what's wrong?" her hand touched his shoulder gently and he flinched slightly, turning to face her, forgetting she was in the bed next to him. She saw the heart broken look on his face and realised what was going on, he had had a nightmare. She moved closer to him.

"Hey, Jay, it's me, it's Hailey, you're safe" she whispered softly "You're here, in my bed, in Chicago" she continued "Just breathe for me, in and out, slowly, okay?" she told him and then showed him, taking a breath in and then breathing out.

He copied her actions taking a breath in and then out, trying to steady his breathing.

"Yeah, that's it, there you go, you're doing so good" she told him softly, and after a little bit his breathing was steady, but she could tell he was still shaken up a bit his hands shaking slightly still. She took his hands in hers.

"You're safe Jay" she told him, and he breathed out a "yeah" it was barely a whisper, if all of her attention wasn't on him and trying to make sure he was okay, she might have missed it.

She pulled him close to her and laid them both back down, letting him rest his head on her chest. He listened to the steady thump of her heart beat, she had him, she was here with him, protecting him.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled after a while.

"Hey, no, you have nothing to be sorry for" she told him as she stroked his hair gently "You had a nightmare, Jay, that's not your fault."

"I woke you up, I probably scared you."

"Yeah, you woke me up, yeah, you may have scared me for a second, for a split second, when I didn't realise what was happening, but it's not your fault, okay, I don't mind, I would rather be woken up, that means I get to make sure you're okay, and that you know you're not alone and that you've got me, okay?" he nodded at her words.

"Okay, thank you" he whispered and wiped away a tear that had escaped.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked gently, not wanting to push him.

"Umm, yeah I do actually" he told her "I-I just don't want to put it all on to you" he continued.

"Jay if you want to talk about it, or anything I'm here to listen, okay?" he nodded again, letting her know he heard her before he continued talking.

"Okay, umm I was back overseas, and I couldn't save anyone, my whole team, civilians, women and children, they were all dying all around me and there was nothing I could do." he took a breath "And then I was the only one left, they were all dead, Hailey and I couldn't save them, not even one person, not even one" He wiped away more tears that had fallen during his explanation.

Hailey didn't know what to say "Jay..." she whispered.

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to say it, out loud, I haven't exactly done that before."

"Not even in therapy?" she questioned.

"I um I've talked about what happened over there, but I haven't exactly gotten around to talking about the nightmares yet, I-I just..."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me Jay, but I'm here for you always, okay?" she told him once more and he nodded.

"Thank you, Hailey seriously, it means a lot to me" he told her.

He moved off her chest and laid on his side, facing her. She turned on her side to face him, her hand gently caressed his face, he gave her a small smile and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you" he told her.

"You deserve so much good and so much happiness Jay" she told him, and he pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Hailey, you're all the good and happiness I need" he told her "You make me so happy, happier than I've ever been" he continued and smirked a bit when he saw her face turning red.

"You're blushing" he teased.

"Shut up" she mumbled burying her face in his chest and she felt the vibration of his laugh.

"Hey look at me" he said.

"You're going to make fun of me"

"I won't"

"You will"

"I won't, I promise"

"Promise?"

"I promise Hails". She looked up at him, shyly and he kissed her gently.

"Told you" he whispered after he pulled away and she giggled and shushed him. They laid there in each other's embrace, protecting each other, not wanting to let the other go.

"Hailey?" Jay spoke up after a while.

"Yeah?"

"I love you" she blinked, shocked slightly not expecting him to say that it was the first time either of them had said I love you aloud "You don't have to say it back, but after tonight, I wanted to let you know, you're the best thing that ever happened to me Hails."

"I love you too Jay and you're the best thing that ever happened to me" she told him before pulling him in to a kiss. The rest of the night was filled with touches and kisses and exploring each other's bodies as they usually would but this time it was with soft, I love yous whispered here and there, Jay's nightmare long forgotten because he had Hailey, because she protected him, because she loved him.

Notes: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.

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