30-Something Reality

Sarah Vs Siren

JARED's P.O.V.        

I just lay next to her, holding her as she cried herself to sleep. I had no clue how this had all happened... But I was going to make it up to her. Siren deserved to know she was loved. I just held her as she slept. When she finally started to stir, I pulled her tight into my arms.

"Jared.." I hear her mutter into my chest as she snuggles into me...

"I'm here Siren...I told you I wouldn't leave your side until you pushed me away..." I whisper into her ear.

I feel her turn her face up out of my arms... I look down at her. She takes her free hand and rubs her eyes as she looks up at me.  I see her smile a weak smile and pull herself up to me and kiss my cheek...

"Why didn't you go after your brother?"

I almost chuckled a little... I smiled and moved the hair that had draped itself over her face.... Siren's hair had gotten so much longer now.... The black tips on it still from when she had shocked the SHIT out of me in New York. It really suited her a bit longer.... I was glad she was letting it grow out...

"Because I knew Jeanette would be able to stop him from doing something stupid.... And no matter how angry my brother would be, he would never want you left alone. Especially if you needed someone..." I pulled her tighter in to me just so she knew I had her... "Sarah... I ...."

"Why do you all call me that? It drives me CRAZY!" She pushed me away and got up out of the bed.... "Jeanette calls me that, because she knew me as that... That would be like someone calling you by your birth name instead of Leto.... And honestly, it is starting to drive me BATTY!" She grabbed her tablet and headed into the living room of her apartment... 

I flew off the bed and pulled her into my arms and kissed her... I grabbed her tablet out of her hand before it fell to the floor and shattered. She didn't fight me at first, then as our kiss got more intense, I feel her pull away... "Siren...."

"See... that's my name.... I'm not Sarah anymore Jared... I can't be her.... I refuse to be her!" She pulls her tablet out of my hand and jerks away from me. "I'm going to make some hot chocolate.... Do you want some tea?"

"Why are you so scared again.... You haven't been this jumpy with EITHER of us since the day we met you in D.C., now WHAT is going on?" I follow her in to the kitchen and after she puts her tablet on the counter, I pull her into a kiss and wrap my hands around her face... She finally gives in and kisses me back the way I hoped she would.... As we kiss I feel her finally let her gaurd back down and give into me...I back her up against the counter as we kiss and pin her... "I don't just want you, don't you get that yet?" I muttered as we kissed... "I want to be with you..." I kiss her again before she pushes me away again... "Why? Why do you keep pushing me away when I know you care about me? If you want him just tell me and I'll go Sarah...."

"That is why!" She screamed! "I'm not SARAH anymore! She died the day she burried her son... Sarah was weak enough to let him get killed... I'M NOT HER! Nothing is going to cost me my daughter!" She turned around and looked me in the eyes as she sat on the arm of the couch... "Jared, I care about you more than I realized!" She took a deep breath and I moved over to and pulled her face into my hands yet again.... I wrapped my fingers around the back of her head... She had tears in her eyes... "I was dreaming when I called your name... I didn't realize you were actally holding me instead of Shannon....It hurt Jared... And I always want what I can't have...." I had never seen her open up to me like this... I just looked in her eyes... It killed me to see her hurting... Because of how we felt for each other... 

"Is that what actually happened with Jeanette..." I saw the pain flash in her eyes before she shut them and let a tear roll down her face... I gently wiped it away and took a deep breath... "The person you were with her was NOT weak... Baby, you did everything you could to protect Joushua... And I know you loved her... I also know..." I pulled her face so I could look her directly in the eyes.... "I also know you love my brother... You know how I feel about Jeanette... I DO love her... I want to be with her, but I can't do that unless she let's go of HER past... And it dodesn't look like that is happening... My brother finds something for the first time in a LONG time that makes him TRUELY HAPPY.... and I want it... I want the one thing that turns my brother back into the guy I grew up with..."

"So what do we do now? I don't want to be with Jeanette the way we were... If she had come to me in D.C. then maybe we could have started over.... But not now... I can't just walk away from my daughter and her father... And I will be DAMNED if Connie will call her mom, even as Shannon's girlfriend... That's not going to happen just like she will never call you daddy!" That stung when she said it.... "But I can't deny it anymore Jared... I do love you... The way you love me..." Siren looked in my eyes for the first time and said it... I wanted to throw her back on the couch and make love to her... I move to kiss her and do just that... until she puts her hand on my chest and stops me. She runs her fingers up and down the buttons on my shirt and I let go of her face and let her do as she wishes... "I also promised you to be honest, did I not..?"

I pulled her chin up to look me in the eyes... "I know you still love my brother... I can live with the fact that you love him, I can't live with the fact that Jeanette is still in love with a ghost. I can battle my brother's impression with you as time goes by..." I took a deep breath... "If they end up together, I'm not going to step back anymore... I'm going to remind my brother every day in front of him that I picked up your pieces again..."

I feel her just lay her hands on my chest... Siren looks up at me with those blue-gray eyes that just melt me.... "That's not what YOU want Jared... And I..." Siren stood up and slid her hands up my chest around my neck.... "I don't think I want to wait that long to find out what he wants... " I look her in the eyes and think I see her flip... Her eyes become more gray as she looked at me with a sultry seductive look.... This was a different side of her.... a hungry, RAW, look in her eyes... "Jared... if Shannon wanted me back, don't you think he would have stayed himself to make sure I was okay?"

I felt weak in the knees.... What was this woman doing to me? "I would assume so... But when he gets pissed he just gets on his bike and..." Siren kissed me with a new passion I had never felt from her.... She was dominate and seductive... I LIKE IT! I pull away just long enough to ask her... "Are you sure? That is not the way you have EVER kissed me... I'm not going to play rebound with you babe.... I want you, no holds barred... mine... and that kiss..."

Siren put her finger on my lips and pulled her other hand back from around my neck... Looked at me and pulled off the ring I had put on her right hand... my hear DROPPED!... She handed it to me and turned my face so she made sure I was looking at her... "Put that ring where it belongs... I've made my choice... If he wanted me he would be here.... You showed me your feelings... more than once Jared..."

I took the ring from her and slid it on her left hand as you would an Irish engagement ring... and kissed her as such! "I'll never make you question me..." I kissed her again.... "You belong to me now..."