Hate Is A Strong Word

10

Me and Cam walk out of his room and head towards the stairs. Before we get to the stairs, Cam stops and walks backwards like he was confused. He stopped in front of the hallway bathroom and shook his head. "What the hell?" He says. I walk over to see what's up.

There's a guy passed out by the toilet with throw up in it. "At least he didn't miss the toilet." I say, lightly chuckling. He goes to wake him up. "Aight man, come on." He says, getting the guy up and flushing the toilet. The guy looks so confused. I step out the way as Cam walks him towards the stairs and we head down.

It's a mess. There's trash everywhere and a few people passed out randomly. I scan the room to see if I see Shay but I don't. "So what now?" I ask Cam as we scan the room. He shakes his head. "Guess I gotta get everyone up and out. Thankfully my mom don't come back til tomorrow." He says. I nod, agreeing. "Need help?" I ask.

I like to be helpful but I really don't wanna help with this. "Nah you straight. 'Preciate it though." He responds. I'm kinda shocked. Since we've been tryna get along better, I've realized that he's not as much of an asshole as I thought. I mean of course he was to me cause duh, but he's actually been pretty decent lately. I tell him I'm gonna try to find Shay and start to walk around.

I pull out my phone to call her as well, in case she somehow isn't here. It rings a few times and it finally picks up. "Hey girl." Shay answers, I hear the hangover in her voice. "Oh thank god, you're alive." I say. "Where are you?" I ask her. "I don't know." She says. I FaceTime her and she picks up. "Show me where you are." I say.

She moves her phone around and all I see is darkness. "The fuck?" I say. She shrugs. "I think I'm in a closet." She says, looking around her. She tells me to hold on and tries getting up. I see her reach forward and light shines in. She quickly covers her eyes. "Holy shit it's bright." She says, squinting her eyes. "Well it's daytime now so." I say, chuckling.

She gets up and walks out of wherever she was. "Oh good, I'm still at Cam's." She says. I start looking around. "Where?" I ask her. "I'll come to the living room." She says, hanging up. I shake my head. Where the hell did this girl end up? "You find Shay?" Cam asks, walking over to me. "Yea, she's here somewhere. She passed out in a closet." I say. He makes a face and I just shrug.

I see her coming around the corner from the basement and garage area. I point over to her and Cam turns around. "Where were you?" We both ask at the same time. "Coat closet." She responds, rubbing her head. I shake my head. "How did you even-" I start but she cuts me off. "I don't know man." She goes and sits on the couch. Cam continues waking people up and getting them out.

I go and sit by Shay. "So where did you go?" She asks me. "We'll talk about it later." I say, slightly smiling. She nods. "Anyway, you ready?" I ask her. She nods and we get up. Cam's gotten everyone out now and he's just looking around, seeing what all needs to be done. We walk over to him to tell him we're about to go but Shay speaks first.

"So why didn't you have the party in the basement? That probably would've been a lot less destructive." She says. "I thought about it but my mom works down there sometimes and I'd have to beat someone's ass if they fucked with her stuff." He responds. "What's the difference from having it out here?" She asks.

"I put away all valuables and shit. It's fine." He says. "Yea but-" Shay starts but I cut her off. "Okay damn interrogation," I say, laughing. "Anyway, I was telling you that we're about to go. Let me know if you need help or anything." I say to Cam. He thanks me and tells us to be safe.

6:45pm

I just woke up from taking a nap. I wasn't too tired when I got in, but the shower made me 10x sleepy so I decided to go back to sleep for a bit. Good idea too because my head is feeling much better now. I go downstairs and try to find something to eat. I just realized I haven't ate anything at all today and I'm starving.

I decide to heat up some leftovers we have in the fridge. As I sit on the couch eating my food and watching tv, my doorbell rings. I get up and open the door. It's Shay. "Hey girl." I say, giving her a hug and letting her in. "I got bored and decided to just come here." She says, as we sit on the couch. "You know I don't mind." I say.

Shay is like the only person allowed to just pop up at my house unannounced. When we're bored, we typically just go to one of our houses so this is normal for us. We also talk constantly so we know when we can't just pop up at the other's.

"Sooo..." She starts. I just look at her as I continue eating. "Last night?" She says. "Oh right." I say. I turn down the tv and turn to her, setting my plate down. "No screaming cause then our heads will hurt again." I say. She nods. "I was with Cam." I say.

Her mouth drops. "Get the fuck out! Are you serious?!" She says, looking very excited. I nod and laugh. "Yea we uh," I start, fidgeting with my fingers. "We fucked." I finish, through gritted teeth. It's so weird to say out loud. Just the other day, we were arguing every time we saw each other, like normal. Now, we've just fucked and act like it's nothing. It's wild.

"Bitch whaaat! Tell me everything!" She says, leaning forward. I tell her everything all the way til this morning. She's just looking at me with her mouth open. "I can't believe you guys actually fucked. I mean obviously y'all like each other but I didn't think it'd happen just yet." She said, shrugging like it's nothing. "I'm sorry, we what?" I say.

She gives me a look. "Oh come on. I'm your best friend, I know everything about you. I can definitely tell when you like someone." She says, shaking her head like it's obvious. She turns to the tv like she's interested in what's playing, while I try to process what she just said.

"Shay, I don't like Cam. You know that." I say to her. She rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath. "You want me to break it down for you why I say you guys like each other?" She says to me. I nod my head. She faces me and sighs, like I should already know what she's gonna say.

"Okay fine. For one, if you guys really hated each other, you wouldn't even talk that much. Remember Peyton from middle school?" I nod. "You two absolutely hated each other, so you avoided each other. Yea you'd go back and forth sometimes, but 98% of the time, you both did things to where you wouldn't encounter the other." I start to speak but she puts her hand up.

"I'll just list all my reasons and then you can argue against them afterwards." She says. I just roll my eyes and let her continue. "Also, you guys stopped being friends because he ditched you. That's a fucked up thing to do but you don't just lose all your love for your best friend just like that, and that goes for both of you. Your 'hate' comes from the pain of what he did, and his 'hate' is probably just because you hate him. But even before all that happened, you guys admitted to having feelings for each other, remember?" She says.

I slowly nod, not really wanting to remember that. "Right, so there were already feelings there. Now I'm not saying that those feelings can't go away, I'm just saying that they didn't. I've known you since 6th grade, I know they're still there. You might not wanna believe it, and I get that, but at least just be honest with yourself. You know the more you try to deny feelings the stronger they get." She finishes, looking proud of herself. "There's more I could add by the way but I don't really feel like it." She adds, shrugging.

"No no you're good." I say, thinking. She looks at me like she's waiting for me to respond, but I don't know what to say. I wanna tell her she's wrong, but I don't fully believe that. "I'll let you finish processing. I know I just kinda threw a lot at you." She says, patting my shoulder. I just nod. It's gonna be a long night.