Annie Lou Blues

Where is Home?

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"Annie!" My mother shouted, I had just been stunned with the words " Daddy and I are separating",  My childhood crumbled before my beautiful four-year-old eyes, just like the chocolate chip cookie she had been given me before the news broke out. My favourite treat is now apart of a bitter memory suddenly I heard the jazz music of my dad's saxophone and I woke up out of the nightmare that haunted me for years and into the reality that my nightmares are real. I got up out of bed with my fuzzy bunny slippers (which I think is very 16 years old chic) and greeted my dad, "Good morning!", then I saw my mom was in the living room waiting for me "How long were you here," I asked my mom, hoping that it was hours that my parents spent together but mom said five minutes. Well, "that was a heart-wrenching dramatic moment", I thought to myself. I forgot today was mom's turn. Having a separated parents schedule is hard to keep up with but it shouldn't be,  judging that my mom gets three days out of the seven days, it used to be two but " I have priveledges now" as my father loves to say. We were going by her house with all my siblings, by my dad I'm an only child but by my mom, I have 4 siblings waiting for me, one horrendously annoying niece, princess and my loveable nephew Robert.  My mom said she had a surprise for me at home, we travelled so far and I got to pass all of my favourites ice cream shops, Icecream is a girl's best friend and I didn't have any friends so this was the next best thing. I had just come from The third most prestige school in my hometown,  The Lilly Secondary School and it was tough anyway I'm on my way to the college of my choice Westerly College, This surprise was probably a party for how well I did. When we arrived I ran inside like a cheetah ready for prey and I was hunting for the cake but what greeted me was somewhat of a grown woman at least she looked like one. 

   "This is Bella Andrews", My mom said with a gentle smile, my mother just adopted a twenty-seven-year-old who acts like a five-year-old. This wasn't what I wanted or expected or thought of or was it one of my nightmares, I was so overwhelmed I fainted. I had been dealing with depression for a while but this made me feel like I could spiral right back into it, The weirdest things usually do. I woke to my mom hugging Bella and telling her its not her fault. I know I'm a dram queen but that girl was such an attention seeker. When I got up my mom told me I had to treat her nice because she had a disease that makes her think less mature than I am. I asked what it was called and she whispered "Spinal Bifida". I rushed in my room to research "Does spinal Bifida cause brain trauma/damage" Google said, "Many people with spina bifida and hydrocephalus will have normal intelligence, although some will have learning difficulties, such as a short attention span. difficulty solving problems." I guess ill accept her as my sister, ill just have to remember that I'm older now and that I may have had a damaged past but God can fix my future, sometimes my faith wavers and I feel like when peter had looked down when walking on water besides that I had been learning about God since my mom told me he existed and age nine. I wasn't really impressionable but mostly curious about the Big Guy in the sky who had loved me and maybe if I just believed he would take my pain and hurt away. It worked I stopped crying every day and taking my sadness out on the people closest to me, actually, I've been fine for awhile life has been pretty good, too good almost. I lost weight and started learning more, it was like my brain opened new possibilities for me. 

  I spent the whole weekend with my three brothers, my nephew, Bella and my mom, my sister didn't like me very much and said I was a spoilt little girl and I had it too good, she also constantly told her daughter that I didn't like her and after years of saying I believed it and so did princess. Robert always had loved me, we shared a love of sports, shooting games, football, tv, popcorn and most deliciously cake. We used to spend hours watching tv and playing games together, now we just play football and talk. My brothers love to talk about girls and I like to listen to funny stories about how they tried to get girls numbers. This was one of the best weekends I had in a long time until a quarrel broke out between my sister cotton and my mom about bringing Bella into the house, she basically compared her to a homeless dog, apparently, Bella told the whole community we lived in that Cotton was a tramp, which with all due respect she wasn't. My sister revealed how she really felt about everyone in the house and it was not pretty. Cotton screamed "you are all fake and ill tell you all the truth, Annie is your favourite and the boys too, you hate my daughter and treat everyone better and most o all you hate me" I knew she was mean but I didn't think she was arrogant too. This changed everything. Acre, the youngest of the brothers moved out of the family home, the very next week. I cried for two weeks then cotton said to me "this was never a family" we just lived together. The only question I had was where is home?