Her Lady in the Lake [ Damie Oneshot ]

Her Lady in the Lake

 Jamie pulled herself out of the water, gasping for air as she began to fiddle with her ring, the one Dani had given her so many years ago. This was it, the moment she'd been dreading since they last stood at this lake, what simultaneously felt like only a few days ago, but also a million years ago. Looking back, the gardener remembered that thinking that was the worst thing she would ever feel, the feeling that she would one day lose her girl, she couldn't possibly imagine anything worse, but now, sitting in the shallows of the eerie water, she knew that wasn't it, it was this moment. Seeing her lover laying at the bottom of the lake, seemingly refusing to let her join, knowing they could never be together once more, she knew this would be the worst thing she'd ever feel.

She wished she could go back to the night Dani invited the lady in the lake to possess herself, in exchange for the innocent Flora. God, she'd wished and prayed she could feel that again, because that would at least mean she'd have Dani with her once more, even if there was the uncertainty of how long they would have. At least they would have at least one more moment, one more kiss, one more day. She would do it all again, take it all one day at a time with the love of her life. Instead, Jamie was left sitting in the shallowness of the water, sobbing into herself as she begged for Dani to come back, but knowing she couldn't. She felt her eyes start to get heavy, drifting off, legs in the water, and head resting on the muddy bank.

Jamie couldn't tell if it'd been hours, minutes, or seconds, but she opened her eyes again, feeling a tender hand on her shoulder. Sitting up and turning, the gardener saw Dani, in her perfect, angelic way, she sat next to her, staring at the lake. Jamie didn't know what to do, how to react, Dani hadn't even reacted to her movement as she looked on. Trying to read the expression on her face, Jamie couldn't tell if Dani was remorseful, mourning her own life and regretting having to sacrifice herself for everyone around her, or if she was relieved, she didn't have to suffer anymore. Didn't have to be scared, didn't have to avoid the reflections, she was free, in a sense.

"Dani?" Jamies' voice broke out, barely a whisper, not believing her own eyes, they must be playing tricks on her. This couldn't be real, Dani was in the lake, she was sure, she saw it with her own eyes. It was real, she felt it in every aching muscle of her tired body. Dani turned her head slowly, eyes roaming delicately over Jamie's features, void of her eyes, giving a sad smile as she rested her hand lightly on Jamies' cheek, softly running her thumb up and down.

"I am so sorry Jamie," she whispered, finally looking into her wifes' eyes, tears building up for both of them.

"You're not real, I saw you, you're in there," turning her head to the lake, Jamie squinted as if trying to get a peak down below.

"I'm here baby, I am," her voice breaking, she brought her other hand to Jamies face, turning her face away from the lake, connecting their eyes once more. "I'm so sorry Jamie, I would've stayed if I could."

"I know love," the gardener leaned into Dani's touch, taking in the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, "but I saw you down there?"

"I am, down there, I mean," this caused Jamie to turn her face back to the waters once again, Dani's hands fighting against it, "but I'm also right here. With you."

"I wish I could stay here forever," Jamie let out, tears now continuously falling from her eyes, "I don't want to be anywhere else Dani, all I want is you." Dani smiled softly, shaking her head.

She opened her mouth for a brief moment to speak, but closed it, shaking her head before softly speaking, "You need to be free Jamie. She has had us in her grasp far too long, both of us. It haunted us all these years and I need you to be free of it. I'll be at rest now, and you can finally let go. We knew this day would come."

"You're right," Jamie sadly chuckled, "we knew it the moment we left this horrible place, we knew it every birthday, every christmas, every dinner. We knew it when we moved in together, when I told you I loved you, when you put this ring on my finger," Dani and Jamie both looked down at their hands, admiring the ring symbolizing their forever. Clearing her throat, Jamie continued on, "We knew it, all along, you've been her's since the day we left this place. You always will be hers."

"No, Jamie, I'm yours," Dani brought Jamie's hands to her lips and kissed them softly, "I will always be yours, we solidified that the day we put this rings on our fingers, but I knew I was yours long before that," she smiled, looking back at her lover.

"I wish I could stay with you forever. I don't know how I'll get on without you, Dani." The words broke out with a sob as Jamie fell into Dani's arms, hands gripping desperately at the fabric of her dress, becoming frantic "please don't leave me, it's you, it's me, it's us! You, me us. Let it be us, God, Dani, it's always been us. It always will be us." Dani held her girl tightly, stroking her hair, rocking slowly.

"I know Jamie, trust me, there's nothing more I want than to be with you forever, but you can't stay here. I need you to go on for the both of us." Dani whispered softly, kissing the top of Jamie's head. She knew this was it, she was done for, she was only alive through the memory of Jamie now. Dani knew she had to be strong, this would be the last time she would hold Jamie for a very, very long time. "I love you so much, I can't be selfish and take this from you. Take life from you. Love isn't selfish, even if I believed that it was I would not allow the sharped edged teeth of selfishness to seep into our love, I couldn't. Life is so precious. Who am I to let this lake take you away as it has me?"
"But it's going to be so hard without you. It's not selfish, I want it, I want to be with you. I would do anything, water can fill my lungs, the lake can overtake me as it has you. All I want is to fall to the bottom of these waters and hold you forever." Jamie's words were barely audible, but Dani heard them, she always heard them.

"I know it will be hard love, but you have to go on, if not for you than for me, for us. Take it all one day at a time, right? You can't stay, I couldn't bear it. The only thing that will make my days of being jailbound to these grounds worth it is knowing you're out there, alive and happy." The au pair smiled.

In which the gardener replied, "I'm happiest when I'm with you, Poppins."

The au pair smiled, a sad, beautiful, tragic smile. One that didn't quite reach her eyes, but they reached Jamie's eyes and filled her entire being with unconditional love. "I will love you forever Jamie, can I please just hold you?" The gardener turned, leaning back, allowing her body to relax against Dani's.

"I'm so tired Dani," Jamie mumbled, turning her head up to face Dani, giving her a gentle kiss, before snuggling her nose into Dani's neck.

"I know you are, love." Dani replied softly, setting a gentle kiss on Jamie's temple, "why don't you rest for me? I love you." The gardener gave no argument as she felt all sense drift away, sleep overcoming her.
Just as she had earlier, she awoke again, not knowing how much time had passed, but knowing Dani was no longer with her. Jamie wanted to scream, wanted to curse the lake for taking the only person in this goddamn world who made her life worth living.

She looked around, before allowing her eyes to land on the ring on her finger, twisting it a few times. Had Dani actually been here? Visited her one last time? Had one last kiss? One last goodbye? Or was it all a dream or hallucination of some sort caused by the unbreakable amount of dread and grief she felt?

Jamie would never know the answer to that question, but if she knew anything, the gardener knew she loved Dani endlessly, just as Dani had loved her.