Like a Cigarette

Chapter 2- Lonely

We went down to Busselton in January, with my grandparents, Aunt Cassidy, Uncle Tiberius, Columbanus and Adnot. Aunt Cassidy was Dad's sister, Uncle Tiberius her husband, and Columbanus and Adnot their two sons. We went down to Busselton with them most summer holidays.

After we ate dinner, Zale asked what we were doing that night, for our first night on holiday.

'I know what we can do tonight,' Adnot replied.

'What's that?' my grandmother asked him.

'Tell jokes! I brought my joke book. You can all take turns reading them!'

'Oh!' my grandmother said. 'That's a great idea.' She sounded like she thought the idea was slightly less than great.

'You have a joke book?' Dad asked.

'Yes. Grandma and Grandpa bought it for me for Christmas,' Adnot said.

'And we've all been telling jokes every hour of every day since then!' Grandma said, still feigning excitement.

'Maybe we'll just do that for a little bit and then we can do something else tonight, okay?' Aunt Cassidy suggested.

'We can tell jokes all night!' Adnot replied, running out to get the book.

'Perfect,' Uncle Tiberius muttered sarcastically.

'Mummy, you go first,' Adnot said when he came back with the book and handed it to Aunt Cassidy. Adnot was only four and couldn't read himself, so he got everyone else to read the jokes for him.

'Okay,' Aunt Cassidy said, taking the book. 'If you're American when you go to the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?'

'American?' my grandmother guessed.

'Wait, wait, wait!' Adnot said. 'Mummy, what's the answer? Whisper it in my ear.' Aunt Cassidy did what he said, as she tended to always do. 'No, it's not American,' Adnot said.

'Oh, well I don't know then. What are you when you're in the bathroom?' our grandmother asked.

'European,' Adnot said.

'Oh haha,' everyone but me said.

'I don't get it,' I said. Adnot looked at me disappointedly.

'Kara doesn't have a sense of humour,' Dad explained to him. 'When she doesn't get a joke, I always say 'The Comedy Queen strikes again'.'

'Why do you say that?'

'It's a joke. Because she's the opposite of the comedy queen because she doesn't find anything funny.'

'I do so find things funny,' I said. 'I just don't get this joke.'

'Usually, you are Russian when you go to the toilet, European while you're in there and when you come out, you're Finnish,' Dad said.

'If you're Russian and Finnish, aren't you still European?' I asked.

'See, this is what I mean,' Dad said. 'The Comedy Queen at her finest.'

'Okay, next joke,' Adnot said. 'Grandma, your turn to read! Kara, try to understand it this time.'

'I tried last time too,' I muttered.

'What's black and white and dangerous?' Grandma asked.

'Tell me the answer,' Adnot insisted, so grandma whispered it in his ear. I don't know why he didn't want to just guess at it and have the answer revealed to him with everyone else.