the moon reflects my heart

new moon

new moon: "new moons generally can't be seen. they cross the sky with the sun during the day. the moon's shadow side is toward earth." 

She dried her hands with a hand towel and made sure to wipe the counter clean. Turning to leave, two voices outside travelled in made her stop in her tracks.

"Really? You're gonna do it?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna tell her."

A slap on the back echoed through the corridors as these voices started to fade.

"Woo! You a brave one, ya know?"

The girl stared into the mirror as everything around her quieted down once again, only to clearly hear her pounding heart, echoing in her ears through her veins. Her eyes immediately noticed her flushed cheeks and wondered to herself, when did she turn this red?

It almost matched the color of her hair her hands were reaching for, but it wasn't quite the same shade. She tried to comb through it, taming these impossible curls. Her effort only seemed to make it worse. She managed to stop herself, but she couldn't resist a final gentle pat before she took a deep breath and walked out of the girl's bathroom.

She fiddled with her fingers as she walked, her eyes looking up as if trying to remember the correct answer for a test. As she passed the school library, her stomach lurked and her pace started slowing down. She looked at her reflection on the windows to her right, with shelves of books in the background. She gave herself a big smile and turned back to face the direction she was heading, clutched onto her schoolbag and ran towards the school's entrance.

"Hey Elijah!"

Her head popped next to him which slightly startled him, who was just scrolling through his Instagram feed, obviously waiting for someone.

"Oh, hey Liv, didn't hear you coming," he smiled, turning to face her as he shoved both his hands into his pocket.

"You ready?"

Liv nodded happily and they both headed towards where his car was usually parked. They soon pulled up at this chic but quiet café that's yet to be discovered. This location is only known by those familiar with the area, but will soon be a hotspot as soon as the word gets out.

Elijah led Liv to a cozy corner towards the back of the shop, a spot quite hidden from passersby. He ordered two drinks while Liv settled down in her seat, placing her phone face down on the table, then deciding to shove it into her bag instead. She then took it out to make sure it was on mute, and placed it back as she waited for Elijah to return.

"Here's your latte," Elijah said, placing the cup down and sliding it towards Liv.

"Thanks," Liv said, taking a small sip as Elijah sat down.

They both enjoyed their drinks, neither one speaking up for a while. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, yet they were both aware that it wasn't a natural one.

Liv finally decided to speak up.

"So, what did you have to tell me?"

Elijah placed his drink down, took a napkin to wipe his mouth before looking up and straight into her eyes, and hers back into his.

"I like you."

The world froze for a second, as if just for these two to have a moment to themselves. A heart-stopping wave rippled through her whole body, and her whole world shattered inside of her the next moment.

She spoke before it was too late.

"Sorry, I-" Liv looked down before she could complete her sentence, "I don't like you."

"I don't believe you," Elijah replied, slightly furrowing his brow, "Liv, look at me."

Liv pursed her lips before she looked back into those blue eyes.

"If you mean it, look at me and say it again," Elijah said, his face unchanging, though a bit too still.

Her eyes gently looked back into his as emotions arose within her. She gave herself a moment before she came to peace with what she's about to say.

"I don't like you that way," she paused, "but only as a friend. If it makes it easier for you, let's just end this friendship."

"I realized I've been leading you on anyways," she added quickly before Elijah could respond.

He closed his mouth, what she said knocked him out of his place to even say anything at all.

"Alright," he said, picking up his coffee and crossed his legs towards the direction of the entrance, downing the rest of his coffee.

After a few quick gulps, he placed it down and stood up quickly, "I'll drive you home once you're done," Elijah said, walking out of the shop and towards his car. He needed time alone to process what he just heard before making a convincing argument that they could still stay friends.

Liv let out a huge breath of sigh, a wretched sigh of relief she didn't realize she was holding as soon as he walked out. She thought to herself, I did it. She soon finished her coffee, picked up her bag and headed towards the car.

Elijah drove Liv home, the both of them silent the whole way through. It was again, oddly comfortable, but this time with a hint of unspoken tension. They finally reached Liv's house, parking by the sidewalk. Liv turned towards Elijah, who was staring at the front, refusing to look at her. 

"Thanks for dropping me off," Liv said, preparing to open the door.

"Did you mean it?" Elijah said, before she pulled the door open.

"Mean what?" Liv asked, turning back to look at him.

"When you said that you didn't like me," Elijah asked, still refusing to look back.

Realizing that Elijah wasn't going to look at her for the last time, or at least he didn't know that it was going to be the last time he saw her, she decided to let her guard down when answering.

"No, but I love you-" Liv said, before she could finish her sentence, Elijah turned to look at her, catching her off guard. It was as if he saw through her soul then, he could tell that she meant what she said, and that whatever came next would just be an excuse.

Liv hurriedly fumbled through her words, "-as a friend, I love you as a friend."

Before he had the chance to react, she rushed out of the car and went into her house. She left him confused as to what he has witnessed at the café, she was able to tell him that she didn't like him straight into his eyes, yet he just witnessed a raw moment of her telling him that she loved him, not just as a friend he knew for sure.

Liv closed the door behind her before reprimanding herself for being so careless. She snapped out of her own world as soon as she heard her sister's voice.

"Oh hey, you're home."

She looked at her sister, who had her same red, curly hair. They were also the same height and built. She also hated the fact that they even shared the same pair of eyes and nose although they were so different on the inside.

Suddenly, a boy she's never seen before emerged behind her sister.

"You must be Em," he commented, looking at her from head to toe, in a way that she didn't like, before he continued, "Wow, you guys are identical. You even dress the same. I'm Noah by the way, Liv's boyfriend."

"Are those my jeans?" Her sister questioned.

Em quickly moved out of their way and headed towards her room, ignoring her sister and her once again, new boyfriend.

Before she reached her room, she heard a phone ring.  She heard Noah ask, "Aren't you gonna pick that up?"

"Nah," her sister replied, "it's just a childhood friend."

"Oh, the guy who's totally in love with you? Why's he calling?"

"Probably to ask why I didn't show up. He asked to meet after school, but I'm sure that was enough to send him a message," Liv laughed, before making out with her new boyfriend.

Em slammed the door shut before breaking down alone, crying her heart out as she changed out of the clothes that never suited her in the first place.