okay so this is basically an authors note, i don't cuss, so i've replaced those words with stuff like freaking, heck, and stuff. if you would like me to type one that includes cussing, just tell me. i will. okay but i spent two hours typing this so enjoy. it probably makes no sense, but i'm only posting this because i'm bored asf. so... yeah.
It's the Summer of 2001, Joe meets Patrick, and he's like "Yo, I know about music." And Patrick's like "Yo, I know more about music." "That's impossible! Do you wanna start a band?" And Patrick's like "Yeah, that's cool" And then he's like "Yo this is a book store not a music store." And then, they met at Patricks house. So Patrick's wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick's playing drums for some freaking reason. And Pete's there for some reason. They start playing music together and they're like "Oh let's play some freaking covers from some other bands." It was like Green Day, and freaking Misfits, and freaking Ramones. Pete said to Joe "Yo we gotta change this stuff up!" "Yo, we play all these bands, let's play stuff from Fall Out Boy." And so Pete and Patrick are like "Yo, that's dope! But we need a freaking drummer." Because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. And Patrick's like "Yo I got a soul voice." And they're like "Wait how do you have a soul voice?" And he's like "yo watch this- YEHYEHYEHUYEHUEYEHEUYEHUEYEHEUEUEYEHEH." And they're like "Oh my god that sounds like soul!" So they put it in the song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIGIGIGIGIGIFIHJTJTJTHTHTHT." And then they're like "Yo that's freaking perfect. This is Fall Out Boy." And they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex Girlfriend, everybody loves it! With your ex girlfriend? It's called Evening Out With Your Ex Girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend! And it's real and it doesn't matter! And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "Yo what the HEEECCCKKK, yo this is gonna be freaking DOOOPPPPEEE!" So they made a record and it was called Take This To Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like 3, 4 drummers come in. The 4 drummers that had come in were like, Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto. The 4th one was like the dude from Papa Roach or something. And they were like "Yo, we need Andy Hurley." "Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, freaking record it." And he did it, and he killed it, and he was like, "BEJSJZJSKSKSIHSSUISOAOSODKSKPPSSSSJHHH" Killin' the skins, tappin' the skins, tappin' the rim, playin' the stuff, killin' these people, rappin' it out. You're getting a freaking tattoo right now, what the heck is going on! We should get signed to Fuled By Ramen, cause these guys know what the heck is going on. They were like "Yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not freaking hard, we'll sign you guys." He was like "Yo, we got this record that's freaking dope, dude!" It's called Take This To Your Grave. It's called From Under The Cork Tree, it's gonna be freaking huge. Then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep is artistic, these are 3 songs that are gonna make the album they're called ERUGH it's called Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, We're Goin' Down." And they made this record that's freaking dope and it freaking hit the charts like 1, 2, 3, 3, 2, 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 10 to 1! From Under The Cork Tree sold like 4 million records. 10 million records. 15 million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like "THAT'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD." And Pete was like "Yo SCREW YOU I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!" Joe was like "Yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a crap." And Andy was like "Eh.... Cool!" And Pete was like "Makeup, is freaking great for a guy. Because, it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful. I'm good so far. Yeah, I do. SHUT THE FU. What the heck, alright alright. Pete was like "Oh my god I'm so embarrassed about these nudes!" And then I saw the nudes and I was like "Eh, it's not bad." It's not a bad penis, let's be real. We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed and they were like "Yo screw you guys!" They were like "YO! PANIC! HAS THE FREAKING COVER OF ROLLING STONE YO SCREW THESE DUDES WE'RE GONNA GO FREAKING MILES ABOVE! WE'RE GONNA HIT EVERY FREAKING CONTINENT THERE IS KNOWN TO MAN!" But they didn't, because they missed a second of time, apparently, they were like "Oh crap we got every continent!" they didn't actually hit it. Dude, Pete was like "YO WHAT THE HECK!" It's like "Oh you didn't make the freaking continent." It's like SCREW YOU! So, From Under The Cork Tree happens, we freaking have 3, 4 years of awesomeness. Like people are cumming on THEMSELVES cause it's so big. Alright, so Fall Out Boy was like, so Patrick was like "Yo we're gonna name these records Fro, From Under The Cork Tree, from Inity, from Infinity, from Infinity On High. Pete was like "Yo, Folie á Deux is the theatric of 2." Oh, sorry, sorry. Fall Out Boy was like "Yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like "Yo, we gotta take a break, bro." And Patrick was like "I need time for my music. EUEUEUEUEU." And Joe was like "Yo, I need time to find the freaking art dude. I gotta find some freaking mu metal." And Andy's like "I'm just gonna play in some freaking metal band." And they're like "Okay, this breaks been like 3 years long. 2 years long, 3 years long. 3 1/2? We gotta freaking come back man, we gotta come back strong." You took my beer away, what he heck? "We gotta make this stuff legit, it's gonna be freaking dope, it's gonna go freaking sky high. We're gonna make a record that freaking sails the skies! We're gonna call this record Save Rock And Roll." So they made Alone Together, Light Em' Up, Alone Together, Phoenix. And everyone's like "What the heck? You're working with this guy who freaking recorded Avril Levine and P!nk?" There's pu what the heck is this on my shirt did I puke on myself? Oh god. Pete was like "Yo, we're gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At the Disco and twenty pilots. And that's all. And that's all that matters. And that's just how the freaking story goes.
