[l.m x l.jn]
[l.m x z.cl]
ೃ⁀➷ occasionally reality distorts itself.
it changes as days come and go.
sometimes quickly but sometimes
slowly. it gives way to fantasy, the
action of imagining...
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"Mark, have you ever heard of the phrase 'raison d'être'?"
The adult stopped daydreaming out the therapist's window once he found he'd heard a different question than the usual scripted few. His eyes shot over to the blanked out male and couldn't settle there, so instead shifted to the plain desk. "No, not really. It's French, isn't it?"
"Yes it is. Quite literally it means 'reason to be', and I have always lived by it. I find a touch of romance to it that I can't help but get sentimental over."
"Reason to be..." the ravenette hummed once, fingers tapping restlessly against the arms of the chair before halting altogether. For some inexplicable reason, Mark too thought it sounded quite pretty, and rather liked it. "I don't have one. A reason, that is."
"Actually, you do. We all do," Dr. Kim explained whiled getting up to wander around casually. Finally he was getting proper answers out of the man, and he didn't want to close the flower up before admiring its petals. "Mine is to help others such as yourself. I wake up every morning and exist for that reason alone."
"How very....selfless," Mark murmured bitterly. He himself wasn't particularly like that - quite contrarily the opposite, really. He wanted Jeno. He wanted Chenle.
And he was greedy enough to have both for a time...without considering the consequences that would bring.
"Selflessness is my defining trait," the older continued to interrupt his thoughts. "But everyone is different, and that is why we have something called 'colour'. Tell me, Mark, what do you wake up everyday for?"
Ugh, why do I wake up at all? He felt was a more appropriate question to ask. Opening his eyes only to shield them from the sun everyday felt like a hassle...probably because he was used to doing it multiple times throughout twenty-four hours.
"Raison d'être," he repeated instead, sighing dramatically and throwing his head back to flick all his hair off his forehead in one movement. It had gotten pretty long over time, and he no longer had the effort or patience to cut it. "Can it be a person?"
"I suppose it could be. That person must be extremely important to you, I see..."
There used to be someone, he grimaced, but the past was a dark and illusive place to reminisce about...so he always preferred not to. "I'll think about it more for future sessions," the adult muttered eventually, hearing the tick of the clock and feeling it urging him on.
"That's completely up to you," the therapist smiled, pulling up the mirror once again...he had to have known by then that the reflection was not what his patient wanted to see.
