The Next Four Months

Chap five

(Caspian)

Susan, Susan, Susan; her name continually flickerd through my brain, I couldn't stop it. All I could see was a image of her, lying motionless in a cushioned silk-lined coffin. I saw her skin white as the snow, her lips- naturally a coral colour- were the most vibrant part of her. Her hair was down, limp fingers of deep chocolate clinging to her shoulders. She wore a very simple dress, a white shroud really. The dress was fine silk, only just beyond the barrier of being see-through. The sleeves were tight to her wrists and the collar tight around her neck - too tight. She was still in the delicate condition I had unknowingly left her in, the long dress only just reaching her feet due to the swelling in her body.

Those thoughts haunted my every waking moment, and every sleeping one also. The island had been in sight for days but the winds were cruel, the drum had patterned rhythmically with the oars for over a day. The island already new my fears, not getting home to my wife being upmost.

I wondered how she was every second, trying to imagine how she would look and she she;d feel by now. Peter's rought estimate put her in her sixth month- he told me she would have nine in total. I wondered whether she was managing to organize the kingdom in her current condition. I remembered how the swelling in my aunt's belly had made things harder for her, how she had been weak and tired. I tried to imagine my Queen in the same way but it was hard, because it was so long since we said our woeful goodbyes; near three months since I'd tried desperatly to remember the tingle of our last kiss. I missed her more than I thought I would- we could have used her when Gael, the little stowaway was found. She was grieveing the mother who was lost to the slave traders, the young one needed Susan's maternal side to help her- though Peter gave enough jibes that I should be practising.

Peter, now that was another problem. He believed he was in love, who was I to say it was not the case but it really changed things. A petty, telmarine part fo my brain was already scared for the lives of my wife and child. Who was next in line to the throne if Peter were to marry and Liliandil to bear a child? I tried to push it back but it was so deep bred into me to think in such a way. Not only that but I worried about the course of action that would be taken now, how could I drag him away from Ramandu's Island once again.

The image of Susan was in my head once more.

I moved from my quarters, not caring that the dark clouds in the atmosphere of the island contained our greatest fears and greatest desires all in one go. I went to the main galley, the room heavily decorated with stories of old. The paintings brodered the space between the walls and the ceiling. I knew what my eyes were looking for before my mind had caught up. There she was, my Queen, in her youthful beauty, although older than I had ever known her. She smiled in the oil paint, her blue eyes glistening, she was safe and happy and that was the best I could remember as the darkness flowed down.

(Lucy)

"For goodness sake Susan! Your knocking more off the tree than your putting on it!" Edmund laughed as Susan's belly nudged the christmas tree once more, the tiny bells tinkling like mad between the needles. The tree was in the castle grounds and Edmund said it was probably at least fourteen foot tall, even Glenstorm couldn't reach the top. It was the first of December, we still awaited the return of Peter and Caspian. There journey was taking longer than we'd expected, Albernan had returned with news, he had told us the boys found themselves on another quest, he expressed Caspian's worry but said Peter had decided they must continue.

Susan had been upset by the news, she'd left the room straight after tears in her eyes. Barissa, my companion, had patted my arm and said it was ok, she said that sometimes a woman would get a bit weepy in her condition It was more though, I wasn't stupid I knew something was going on and I wasn't happy with not being told. I hated still being treated like a child at times. Edmund and Susan were definatly up to something and I knew it wasn't one of those 'adult conversations' like the one Peter had with Susan when she had announced her betrothal to Caspian. This wasn't something Susan would have to tell me when I was older. This was a normal secret- and I didn't know it.