Just the Way Life Goes

When he was born, you were away at college, living out your lifelong dream of becoming a professional photographer. The first tie you ever saw him was through a video call. You gave him a little smile as his chubby little hands attempted to grab at the camera.

When he was one, you came home for Christmas and sat with him by the fireplace all night, bright smile never leaving your face as you cradled him in your arms and he held onto your fingers. His hands were so small.

When he was two, you got a call. Your parents had had an accident and he was with the babysitter. You rushed home immediately, leaving your school life behind. The two of you never saw your parents again. The tears in his orange eyes were matched in your own. As quick as a blink, you, though still a child yourself, were thrown into a cold pool of responsibility with no one around to help you out. You left the old Dave behind and found an apartment for the two of you.

When his first word was "Bro," though it sounded more like "Bo," you discovered it was the best word in the world. No matter how many times he repeated that simple word, you never tired of hearing it.

When he was three, you finally realized he absolutely adored you. He never left your side, always talking your ears off even if he didn't always understand what he was saying.

When you found a job as a director, you were overjoyed. You could never thank your teenage self enough for those ridiculous comics. You brought him along with you to everything of course. He was your world, and you could now give him everything he deserved.

When you dropped him off at his first day of school he cried and clung to your legs. You scooped him up and talked with him, promising to never leave him forever. That day he took your shades, and you let him. You didn't need them anymore.

When he was fifteen, he brought home Jake. Standing hand and hand with the other in the living room he looked as if he were scared to death, and you once again thought of just how small he was. You smiled and ruffled his hair telling him he'd done good. Once the two relaxed, you welcomed the other into the family with celebratory pizza. They stayed up all night watching terrible movies, and for the first time, you felt ancient.

When you saw him in his suit in front of the small group of family and friends gathered there just for them, giving his heart to the one he loved, you couldn't be more proud. It wasn't until you went home, alone for the first time in almost twenty years, that what just happened actually hit you. No matter how happy for him you were, you can't stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks as you look at your phone screen, an old picture of you and your little man. You could feel all those years of troubles and stress that somehow he'd always been able to keep away. You no longer feel like the luckiest big brother in the world, just worn out, tired. You went to bed that night without the quiet murmur of the t.v. in the other room or his voice as he video chats with his friends late into the night. You still kept the door cracked, though there's no one there to creep into bed with you after a nightmare. For the first time since Dirk was born, you were truly alone and truly lonely.

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When they brought their baby home for the first time, you were there. He gave you a little smile that reached to his familiar orange eyes, the pair of shades you'd given him what seemed like ages ago, hanging from the front of his shirt.

When Jake handed you the little bundled form of your niece you felt your heart swell all over again. As she stared up at you reaching out for your hand, you could remember that first time seeing Dirk, with his chubby little hands and his messy of blonde hair, and you just knew things were going to be alright for you. It's just the way things are. You had your turn, but now, it was his, and you just hoped he enjoyed it. You hoped he'd be proud. You know you are.