nineteen
"NO ONE LIKES A BOGGART"
Elise is fine, she's perfectly fine. One hundred perfect a-okay. Assuming, of course, fine means shaking as she gets dressed, shaking so hard she trips over the ledge on the floor as she gets into the shower. Shaking so much that everything she holds slips out of her hands.
If fine means have dark circles that look like bruises surrounding her midnight blue eyes. If fine means feeling like she's gonna vomit every time she looks at food, so she ignores her grumbling stomach at breakfast.
If fine means she actually considered, for a split second, ditching something she would never ever do. Or if fine means she can barely pay attention in Transfiguration, her worry clouding her mind so much. She wants to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Professor McGonagall had asked her a question and fuck was it mortifying. She had even heard the question so she had to ask again, which already had people staring at her and she wanted to invisible right then and there. She had stumbled over her words, unable to form a coherent sentence.
Professor McGonagall had to ask someone to help her, which was- well thinking about it gives her hives. This is why Elise always pays attention, so she doesn't make a fool of herself if the worst happens and she's called one.
If fine means calling eating a croissant lunch because she doesn't think she can keep it down. If fine means walking at a snail's pace to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, but not slow enough that she'd be late because that would mean even more attention on her.
If fine means nearly tripping over the air as she finds her way to her seat, shaking. She wonders if anyone notices the way she's freaking out. But it seems that no one but Mae does. Or maybe she's just in her own world, who fucking knows.
If fine means unable to hold a quill as their Professor tells them about Boggarts. If fine means wishing she was anywhere but in that classroom. If fine means being so terrified she can't think, barely understand the world outside her head, the lecture on Boggarts just a founding in her ears.
If that is what fine means, then Elise is fine.
"Alright everyone," Professor Coble claps his hands, smiling brightly at them. "Form a line and remember, say ridikulus, and force it to become something you find funny."
Easier said than done, she thinks, walking to the back of the line with Mae. She wishes she wasn't so scared, she doesn't even know what her greatest fear is, she's afraid of too many things. But everyone else looks a little scared too, she realizes.
It's not just her. Facing your greatest fear head-on has everyone nervous.
"Why are you lot at the back of the line, I'd thought you'd want to be first and show off," Mae asks, looking at four Gryffindor boys suspiciously.
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CARRY YOU | marauders era
FanfictionCARRY YOU | 𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊𝖘 𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖊 --marauders era fanfiction years three though seven ( multiple love interests ) ©historyofmagics 2020