Breathe

Part 6: Life Sucks

I feel so weak like I couldn't do anything. I haven't eaten for the past few days but to me it feels like years upon years. Gab's body was taken away. I feel like am paralyzed. I feel very unhealthy, skinny and underweight and it brings me back to my middle school self. When I was in middle I was bullied by girls in my school. They would go out of their way to call me fat, ugly, gross, and a bunch of worse things. I didn't care about what they said until I overheard someone I thought I could trust saying "She is really fat and that I am so embarrassed to be seen with her". I used to not care what they would say and that what they say didn't matter but when Solar said that. I looked at myself in a different way. I start to not be appetized to food and stop eating it or only eating a small amount. After a few weeks, Gab notices and tells his mom and I get taken into the emergency room because that is the only way that Gab's parents legally can get me into the hospital. The doctors diagnosed me with an eating disorder. Avoidant/ Restrictive food intake disorder or AFRAID for short. Basically I don't find interest in eating or not eating very much. It took me forever to get back the amount I eat nowadays. I still eat a little less than I should. I have learned to try to ignore the people that talk about me but sometimes that's very difficult to do. I have learned for the people at my school and my parents that not very many care for more than themselves, selfish bastards. Let's go back to now though. I wish that the cancer would have just killed me and that I didn't have to live through this, I know that sounds terrible but I am in a lot of pain. I hear the footsteps and then I know that guy is back and he seems to have someone with him. Small looking, then it hits me. "ABBY!" I tried to scream but I don't even know if any sound came out of my mouth. I watched them throw her limp body to the ground, they drugged her. "No, No, No, You can't kill her too" The guy smirked at me. I see that there are a few other guys here. I close my eyes knowing fully what they were going to do to my baby sister. I hear a gunshot and I open my eyes to see that Abby's body had been moved out of my sight. Then I see they guy with the gun starting to take off his mask. I need to know who is doing this to better my mental health. I see his beard and I immediately know who it is. I roll my eyes and I feel my anger taking over my entire body. I should have known who it was. The only person who had the guts to kill someone and to do it to anger me. I know what he wants from me but I am not going to give it to him or whoever the young guy in the mask wants. They aren't getting it. "Fucking should have known it was you Daniel," I feel so angry, I try to pull my weak arms from the ropes around my wrist but I cant get free. "What did you do with Abby?" I angrily yelled. I didn't care that it hurt me to scream. "Nothing that you need to worry about." I felt like I could just kill him on the spot. "Why did you have to kill Gab? Did nothing to deserve being murdered" He looked to the side then back at me. "Who that gay kid, He deserved it for being gay. I hate gays," at this point my blood was boiling. "GAY IS NOT A SYNONYM FOR STUPID. GAB WAS A GOOD KID AND JUST BECAUSE YOU HATE GAYS HE HAD TO DIE? THAT IS RIDICULOUS," I used all of the breath I had. He had come up close to my face and wrapped his hands around my throat. My head felt lighter than hydrogen. My breath was shaky. My throat was getting tighter and tighter the more he tightened his grip. I knew that this was it for me. "You have and will never be a good dad," I manage to get out before losing all feeling.