Breathe

Part 3: Surviving

So here I am laying in my hospital bed with my best friend by my side, getting ready for my first surgery. Just a few weeks ago I was running around not worrying about a lump in my breast that just had to be cancer. I never realized how scary surgery could be but, what could I say I've never had surgery before. All I can think about is all the things that could go bad with my surgery. "You will be okay and after the surgery you will not have to worry anymore," Gabe said before the nurse told him that he had to go sit in the waiting room. That's it, it's surgery time as scary as it is. Before I knew it I was out. I woke to the same bright lights that I woke up to a few days ago but this time no one by my side. My mom, sister, and Gabe are probably in the waiting room but my step dad is probably doing drugs on some street corner. All I can feel is pain where I just got a lumpectomy. Yep, it's that scary. I look at the slightly opened door to see my best friend's head peeking through the little hole. Tears in his eyes, I can't imagine the pain my family and him are going through but I know that I am tough and will survive this, hopefully.

It's been a couple of months since my surgery and I am staying at Gabe's house waiting for the doctors to call and say that the cancer is gone and that the treatment worked its magic. I try not to think about the cancer but the longer I have to stay at Gabe's the more I think about it, they pray for me before every meal. I am thankful of course, I just wish they would let me breathe without thinking I'm going to wake up to a death call one day. I can't even go to work or check on my sister because I'm too weak. All I ever do is now is lay in bed and take my meds. I do the workout I am supposed to do everyday. I'm so thankful for Gabe's family for taking care of me. If I was by myself I probably wouldn't take my meds. If I was at my house then my dad would probably steal my meds anyways.

Here I am, it's been a couple months since my surgery. I woke up to a call from my doctor this morning. Thank god I have never been so excited but scared from a call from my doctor. "The cancer has been successfully removed," I start to cry tears of joy and relief. I end the call with a thank you. "So, what did the doc say," Gabe looked scared, I shook my head "It worked," he gave me a big hug. I have never been so relieved in my life. I still am a little bit weak but I can walk without a cane now, thank god. I walk outside and head towards home knowing I don't want to go there but I have to tell Abby. I slowly make it down there. I see Abby on the porch, she had a blackeye and a bloody lip. I feel the rage take over my body. I ran up to her, I will regret that later. "Did he do this to you?" I asked, she had tears in her eyes. I ran inside knowing I was still weak and couldn't fight as well. "DANIEL, YOU ASSHOLE," I screamed and Daniel came out of his room, "Do NOT yell at me young lady," he said as if he thought I would care what he said, "Did you hit Abby?" he shrugged his shoulders, "So what if I did," I could feel my face getting redder by the second. Abby grabbed my arm and I looked at her, I told myself to breathe. Even though I hate Daniel, Abby doesn't believe in violence. I look back at Daniel and he smirks and walks to my mom's room. "Thank you for not hitting him, you're still sick," Abby whispered at me. "I am not sick ANYMORE! And he does not get to get away with hitting you," I felt angrier than ever before. I hate being treated like I can't do anything for myself. I want to punch something but cry at the same time. Abby looked disappointed in me. "THERE IS NO WAY YOUR BETTER, YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" She sounds really angry and I don't know what has got it to her. I didn't do anything wrong. "Why are you yelling at me, I didn't do anything to deserve you yelling at me?" I am so confused, I should be yelling at her because she is the one that let Daniel hit her. "BECAUSE I'M SCARED," I felt guilt rush into my bones instantly for thinking bad about her. "YOU MIGHT DIE MIA! I AM SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS BUT IT'S TRUE," She instantly hugged me and I could feel her tears on my sweater. I could feel my eyes getting watery before I knew it I was crying so much it looked like the Niagara Falls were coming out of my eyes.