House of Winter

Chapter 5, Part 2

SANNA

Tai smiled, and Sanna knew then that he'd seen a flash of fear in her eyes. He'd grown confident.

"You think you're so smart," he said. "Just like your father. But I can see right through you."

Sanna swallowed, expecting him to lash out, but he left the paperback to burn, and turned on his heel to walk away. His tiger followed him, a quiet shadow that had never made much of an impression on Sanna. Sanna watched Tai go. She wasn't willing to move until he was out of sight.

As soon as she was sure he was gone, she jumped onto the ground and stamped out the fire, and inspected the book. It was damaged beyond repair, and she felt a devastating pang of sadness. There were hot tears in her eyes and she tried to brush them away furiously.

She wasn't just sad about the book, although it was frustrating that she hadn't been able to finish it. The Volcano Palace had an extensive library, although the books were all written in the Fire language and Sanna's use of it was infantile, at best.

But tears sprang so easily to her eyes because of just how volatile she had been feeling for the last few days.

She should have been happy. She had been reunited with her mother. She was betrothed to a prince. She was no longer forced to attend school but instead lived a life of luxury in a palace.

But instead she was devastatingly homesick and wracked with an unfamiliar feeling of guilt.

She had what she'd always wanted. But at what cost?

Sanna dropped the book back onto the ground and wiped her hands of the ash that covered her fingers. Now that she couldn't read, she contemplated walking around the palace gardens. She'd never seen monkeys before, and the first time she'd seen them playing in the trees she'd been quietly delighted.

But the suns were too bright, and Sanna knew that she'd suffer if she wasn't in the shade. So instead she led Sigrun up the steps and towards the library, which was at least darker and cooler than the rest of the palace. The books still inspired her, even if she couldn't understand any of them.

When she entered the library she felt a flicker of magic in her heart, and she tensed. There was a pure white tiger sitting beside the window, watching the palace grounds. In an armchair beside the tiger, a woman with hair as white as her tiger's was reading a book. She closed it as soon as Sanna walked in.

"General Virani," Sanna said.

"You don't have to call me that."

The woman's white hair was held back in a tight bun. She was middle-aged but had a strong body, shown off in her military uniform.

"What would you have me call you?" Sanna asked.

General Virani opened her mouth and then closed it again, before standing up. "You may call me Virani, if you wish," she said finally. "But you could call me Mother, if you like."

Sanna watched the way Virani held her hands behind her back. Her posture was straight, and her chin was up. She held herself not as a queen, with hands clasped in front of her, but as a general.

"Have you settled into the palace?" Virani asked stiffly.

"As much as I've been able, so far."

"Is there anything you wish for? More books? Your father says you love reading. More dresses? I have a seamstress trained in the Norrlish arts."

She didn't need more books, or more dresses. She didn't need butter wreath cookies and she didn't need strawberries. She didn't even need the cooler weather of Norrlund, although of course she would have preferred it. What Sanna needed was for this woman who stood so stiffly in front of her to give Sanna the tools required to break through her hard outer shell.

She wanted to get to know her own mother, but even though she was here, standing right in front of her, it still felt as if Sanna was staring at a stranger.

How could this woman have abandoned Sanna as a child? How could she have left, and in doing so left her father so poor? What kind of mother could leave a child to sleep on the streets?

Sanna gritted her teeth. She would not indulge this woman in the fantasy of becoming a doting mother, now. Not when she had failed so spectacularly at that for all of Sanna's life. She would not pretend that her heart could be mended with new books and new dresses.

"All I want is to be married," Sanna said.

The general's face displayed a flicker of some emotion, but it was gone too quickly for Sanna to understand what it was. Sanna didn't want to stay to find out. She turned on her heel, beckoned for her wolf, and left the library.

Perhaps she would try to sleep, like the Kaio did.

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elle xx