Levi x Reader: The Girl Beyond the Walls

Chapter 24: Good Moments

Grim's POV: 

In the dark of night and the biting cold that rolled from the surrounding mountains I huddled by the fire, a diminutive shape in the vast wilderness that stretched endlessly around. I exhaled into my cupped fingers as I watched the discharged embers gliding toward the black sky. In that moment, I felt more alone than ever before, doomed to shiver at the passing winds and trek along unwoven paths in solitude. 

But it was because of my own doing that I sat here, bathing in the warmth of a fire rather than another person. My family was dead, and the woman I loved came to love another. It was my own doing. 

I looked dauntingly down the Southern pass, knowing I'd reach Stal Ridge in a few days. For a brief moment, silver hairs aloft around fiery eyes passed through my mind, and I shivered from more than just the cold. 

He had promised me strength that I once so desperately craved, that I saw enviously in her instead of myself. I spat at my cowardice. When they butchered my people, I was led to believe it was because they decided to fight back and nothing else- I believed the refusal of my family warranted the slaughter. 

I believed I was saving her from living out the rest of her days wastefully- that together, we'd grow in strength and rule the world. 

But it was a fool's hope that I lived by. We are nothing more than tappable vessels for Charon and his vile men, our blood being the only focus of their desire, their brutality. 

I looked back towards the North whence I came, where she still resided. "I led them to you, my reaper," I whispered, my voice carried along in the wind. I imagined the breeze carrying it far until it passed by her ear. "A part of me still wishes to lay by your side, to rule the world with your guiding hand, our triads coalescing in the creation of wonders." 

My eyes fell somberly down towards the earth. "But it was not meant to be- my faults are too great. I'll settle for doing this one last good deed in hopes it cleanses my name for you, so that my memory does not come with disgust." 

I lay in my bedroll beside the dying fire, the crackling wood resounding in my mind as I drifted off to a turbulent sleep. 

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Levi's POV: 

I knocked on (f/n)'s door for the third time, my growing frustration reflective in how hard I pounded on the wood. "(f/n), we're leaving in thirty- are you even in there?" 

As there was still no response, I cautiously stepped inside, greeted by her empty room. "(f/n)?" I called. 

"In here." Her quiet voice seeped out from the crack in the bathroom door. 

I awkwardly went and stood by the door frame, wrestling with the intrusive thoughts that came to mind when I considered what I'd see if I went inside. "Are you just now taking a bath? It's been hours," I muttered. 

"What?" 

"I said it's been hours." 

"What?" 

I irritably slammed the door open, glaring into (f/n)'s (e/c) eyes as they peered up at me lazily. "I said it's been hours!" I growled. 

My aggressive expression dropped instantly, and my cheeks flushed with heat as I took notice of (f/n) lounging in the tub, her hair messily piled on the top of her head. Her legs dangled off the side and she was reading a book that detailed our knowledge of the titans. While I couldn't see anything in particular, the very idea that she was naked caused me to freeze in place, mouth agape. 

"You're not very good with women, are you?" she asked, her eyes sparkling in amusement. 

I narrowed my glare but quickly turned away. "Shut up, brat. You stay in there any longer you're going to prune worse than a raisin." 

"I've got bigger worries at the moment." 

"Are you even packed yet? We're leaving soon." 

I heard the trickling of water as she raised her hand, pointing to her weapons as they lay on her bed. "I'm all set." 

I grunted in response and shifted to leave. "Meet us by the stables in twenty minutes." 

"We've still got a while, and I could use some company. Grab a stool." 

I glanced at her nervously and fumbled over my words, only to be silenced by her eye roll. 

"Quit acting like you weren't going to see me naked eventually. I've got nothing to be ashamed of. Snap out of your fidgety, awkward demeanor and come sit next to me." 

I scowled at her snarky comments but pulled the dressing chair over to the side of the tub, sitting with my arms crossed, eyes glued to the wall. 

"Is this true?" she asked, her gaze turned back to the book. "Do titans really only attack the Southern side of your walls?" 

"Tch, it would seem that way, wouldn't it?" I kept my eyes strictly focused on everything else except the naked (f/n) laying in the bathtub. 

"I understand that there's fear involved with your perceptions of the titans," (f/n) began, still trailing a finger along the page. "But do you feel anything else when you see them?" 

"Hatred." I didn't hesitate for a second. 

There was a short silence that followed, and (f/n) reached out her hand for me to hold. I think she knew by my response where my hatred stemmed from, and her sympathy soothed my nerves, in a way. I took her hand. 

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, drawing circles along my skin with her thumb. 

She didn't take it upon herself to push for explanations of any kind, and I can't describe how appreciative I was of that quality. It seemed everyone around me fed off of words, backstories, needless fillings of the silence, but here me and (f/n) sat, quiet and in our own thoughts. While I usually felt most at ease alone, I felt the same comfort being in her presence. It was different. 

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(f/n)'s POV: 

"It was a long time ago," Levi said quietly, breaking the silence. 

I looked to him in shock; his eyes were deep in thought, his brow furrowed under the weight of his old memories. "I grew up in the Underground with Isabel and Farlan. In a way, they were my only family, and the three of us were coerced into joining the scouts so our criminal history would be expunged." 

He closed his eyes and rested his forehead in the palm of his hand, squeezing my fingers tightly in the other. "Despite living in poverty all our lives, I think their deaths is what truly awoke me to this harsh reality we currently live in. They still haunt my dreams." 

I set the book down on the ground and rolled over, my chin resting against my arm as I leaned against the side of the tub. "You do them no good holding their memory in spite," I whispered. 

Levi looked to me in surprise, his eyes having watered as a result of reliving past traumas. He gave me a smile. "Tch, using my own wisdom on me? I can't believe you remembered what I said." 

"Being exposed to loss makes you more receptive to moments like this," I said. 

"What is this moment?" 

I laughed, and Levi's smile grew in response. "A good one." 

He moved in closer, cupping my cheek with his free hand as he kissed me tenderly. I ran my fingers along his arm, my other hand tightly holding onto his. His lips were soft and having them pressed against mine always lulled me into a blissful stupor. He made me feel things I haven't felt in a long time. 

He pulled away, pressing his forehead against my own. I looked deep into his grey eyes, entranced by the waves of emotion now passing along his gaze. "Don't become another loss that torments my sleep," he murmured, tracing the line of my jaw with his fingers. "I won't be able to handle it." 

I leaned up and kissed him just beneath his hairline. "You won't be losing me anytime soon, Ackerman." 

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