Aisles

Chapter 10

A/N: Mentions of an eating disorder in this chapter. I hope this won't trigger anyone, but just in case, please take care!

Saturday October 26th

Remus, James, Lily, Sirius and Marlene all congregated in Lily's apartment before the costume party, mainly because Lily wanted to direct everyone's costumes.

"James, you are supposed to wear that around your neck,"

"Sirius, I told you, no getting high at their party! For goodness sake..."

"Remus, darling, please let me brush your hair..."

Marlene had begged the group to take a picture together so that she could post it on Instagram and show Dorcas how good she looked in her catsuit - and fair enough. If Remus hadn't pretty much accepted the fact that he was completely gay (albeit slowly), he may have been convinced otherwise by Marlene. And the acceptance of his sexuality was also influenced by the fact that Sirius changed his shirt right next to Remus, which caused him to have to splash cold water on his face to calm down.

Eventually, the five of them were ready; Marlene had found a photo she liked, they were all dressed to Lily's standards and they piled into a taxi to head to the bar that Frank and Alice had rented out. When they arrived, the party was already in full swing and filled with people.

"I know I've known them for a few years now but I swear I know nothing about them," Lily murmured to Remus as they watched Frank and Alice welcome at least a hundred people to their party.

Remus was working very hard to get the image of Sirius changing out of his mind, but wasn't doing too well, considering Sirius insisted on staying with him the whole time.

"Hey, Moony, people won't get your costume if you're alone, you've gotta stick with me," Sirius said. To be fair, it didn't take Remus much convincing to agree to the fool-proof excuse as to why he had to stay with Sirius the whole time. And also, every time Sirius said his nickname, it gave Remus little shivers of joy.

They were just heading back from the bar when Sirius suddenly swore and grabbed Remus' arm, pulling him out of the door and into the garden-area.

"What-" Remus started but Sirius shushed him and peered round the corner and into the bar that they had just exited from.

"My ex is here," Sirius muttered.

"I don't think they can hear us anymore," Remus said, rolling his eyes at Sirius' dramatics.

"Yeah, yeah, but we are the Mystery Gang, we have to be sneaky," Sirius grinned. He pushed his hair back, something which Remus had noticed he did when he was anxious. He'd also lost his hat at some point during the evening and now just wore all brown with a collar, which was a sight that Remus would be thinking about again later that evening.

"Oh shit, he's coming," Sirius suddenly said. "Follow my lead, please, I'll make it up to you,"

"Wha-" Remus started to say but suddenly stopped when a tall man stepped out into the garden-area from the bar.

"Hey, Marcus, fancy seeing you here," Sirius said with a light chuckle but his shoulder was tense. The man - Marcus - glanced over at Sirius before turning to Remus, and gave him a full up and down.

"Hm, good to see you, Sirius. Doing well, I see?" Marcus said, his eyes slightly narrowed. Sirius suddenly wound a hand around Remus' waist and pulled him in.

"Yeah, yeah, doing well," Sirius said casually. After a slightly awkward pause, Marcus nodded at the two men before returning back into the bar. Sirius waited for another moment before withdrawing his hand and breathing out.

"Pyschopath, that one, I'm telling you," Sirius pulled out a cigarette from his pocket. "Cheated on me with his step-brother," Remus felt slightly dazed from the close contact with him. He also felt slightly dazed from the revelation that Sirius liked men. It was like fireworks inside his head and heart and hands and- well, all of him, really.

It was also like pouring gasoline onto a fire and watching a forest burn down. He swore inwardly - this would do nothing but encourage that irrational part of his brain that told him that there was a chance. It would only fan the flames of hope that burnt in Remus' heart. He snapped out of his daze to say:

"Wait, hold up, step-brother?"

"Yep, step-brother," Sirius wrinkled his nose in disgust. "But now he will go home and cry that I have moved on and am thriving! Even if it's a lie,"

"So, you haven't moved on?" Remus sat next to Sirius and gestured for a cigarette, hoping it would give him something to do with his hands and quell his nerves.

"Well, yes, I have, just not with somebody else, y'know," Sirius said noncommittally. Remus noticed his words were slurring slightly and wondered how much more Sirius had had to drink than him. This was answered by the bluntness of Sirius' next question:

"So, what's the deal with your family?"

Remus looked at him sharply and took a drag of the cigarette.

"Only, if you wanted to talk about it, I reckon I'd be the one to understand the most," Sirius said, somewhat hurriedly. He was right, though.

Remus was a very guarded person, he hated showing his emotions to people, which was partly why him and Mary were so close - she was so no nonsense and got him to talk about things anyway. But Mary had never understood it. She had parents who celebrated every success, who called her almost daily, who loved her unconditionally.

"Its, er... complicated," Remus tugged at his sleeve. "I was... ill for a lot of my later years of school, and they didn't really handle it well, they blamed me. Well, mainly my dad, but my mum didn't really stand up to him either,"

"I'm... really sorry, Moony. How can they blame you for being ill?" Sirius reached over and softly rubbed the back of Remus' shoulder and the caring act almost brought tears to Remus' eyes. He coughed to clear his throat.

"I guess, ill is kind of... I don't really know how to..." Remus exhaled a breath of frustration. It's not like he didn't want Sirius to know, he didn't care really. He just, didn't know how to communicate it without Sirius thinking he was... fragile, or someone to be worried about. He wasn't.

"I developed orthorexia," Remus managed to say. "He blamed me for it, especially when it took a while for me to get better. I mean, I'm fine now, I swear, but took me a bit," Remus avoided eye contact with Sirius; he knew he would be unable to handle it if he looked over and saw pity. But, after a pause, Sirius rubbed Remus' shoulder again and Remus relaxed into his touch.

"Then I'm happy you will be celebrating Christmas with us," Sirius said finally. Remus couldn't help it, but the kind words and Sirius' comforting touch made his voice crack and he felt tears sliding down his face. He rushed to hide them but Sirius pulled him into a hug and they just stayed there, with Remus' head resting on Sirius' shoulder as silent tears poured down his face.

After a moment, Remus withdrew, wiped his face and tried to regulate his breathing. He wanted to apologise, he felt embarrassed, but his voice wouldn't work. But Sirius understood.

He gave him a few minutes to recuperate, waiting patiently and making light jokes about the few people that also came outside.

Eventually, Remus felt normal enough to return and Sirius ground each of their cigarettes and took Remus' hand, leading him back into the bustle of the party, too dark for anyone to notice Remus' tear-stained face.