Decadence- The Arcana One Shots

Don't Say Goodbye- Julian Devorak

Tw: death, lots of angst

I burst into the dungeons, rage simmering in my chest. How dareJulian tell those people that he was guilty- that he actually murdered the Count- when it was clear that he was innocent!

"Step aside!" I commanded the guards standing by his cell. They jumped at my presence, quickly scattering when they saw the look of pure anger on my face.

I saw Julian's angular face peek through the prison bars. He raised an eyebrow, pale hands wrapping around the bars. "Ah, the Magician (y/n). What can I-"

"Drop the act," I hissed, cutting him off. Julian's face instantly paled in shock. "Why are you doing this?" I demanded, approaching the bars. "You're innocent, Julian!"

Julian faltered. "Now, (y/n), let's not be too hasty-"

"You are innocent and you know it!" I boomed. Julian looked away guiltily and I took a deep breath, trying to quell the whirlwind of emotions in my chest. "Whatever guilt you think you have, Julian, we can fix it!"

Julian finally met my gaze, his one good eye shiny with tears. "Oh, (y/n)," his voice broke. "It's not that simple."

I froze. Julian's face stirred a fear deep inside of me; it was if he knew what he was doing to himself, and he didn't care.

"What do you mean?" I breathed. My throat seemed to have suddenly constricted, making each word a titanic effort.

Julian's eyes fluttered and he bowed his head. His hands flexed around the bars, gripping tightly and loosening as his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I learned things in that basement that I wish I could unsee, (y/n)." He whispered slowly. "I remember who I was- the kind of man I am- and I have a lot to make up for." He looked up at me, the tears in his eyes replaced by cold determination. "The plague is coming back, (y/n)."

My face went white as a sheet. "But- you said you found the cure-"

"I did. But I don't remember what it is. Those memories were stolen from me- permanently. If I want to get them back, I have to go the Hanged Man's realm. And to do that..." his gaze turned sorrowful once more and he reached through the bars, cupping my face in his palm. "I need to die."

It could work. His mark could bring him back to life. He could visit the Hanged Man's realm, find the cure, and make it back safely.

But if it went wrong...

"No," I gasped, pulling away from Julian's hand. I pushed my emotions into the back of my mind until they were nothing but a tiny lump in my throat- a lump of pure resolve. "No, there has to be another way. I'll go to the dungeon myself, I find another solution-"

Julian gripped my wrist desperately. His eyes went wide with fear and a pang of sadness shot through my chest. "(Y/n), you can't! It's not safe!" He pleaded. "Please, I can't-" he swallowed thickly. "I can't do this alone."

"You won't have to do it at all, Julian. I'm going to stop this!"

"Please," Julian breathed, his hand sliding down my arm to lace his fingers with mine. He brought our palms up to his face and pressed his cheek into our entwined fingers, placing a fervent kiss onto the back of my hand. "Please, (y/n). Asra and I already tried to get there. This is the only way."

A lump rose in my throat and I looked away. He couldn't see it- he couldn't know how much the thought of his death ripped me apart. "You can't," I whispered. "I can't- I can't let you go- not yet-" A traitorous sob escaped my lips.

"Oh, my darling," Julian pressed against the bars and used one hand to bring me as close to him as possible. He kissed my forehead feverishly, a tear sliding off of his chin. "It's going to be alright." He cradled the back of my head and let me lean my forehead against his chest while he smoothed my hair. I tried to keep my tears quiet, but soon I was sobbing uncontrollably, shaking in Julian's arms like I had no will left to stand.