Don't Tell Dad

"I don't think I can do this anymore," Diluc says quietly as he pets the hawk that perched on his arm. "I can't keep doing this."

With wide eyes, Kaeya stares at his brother as the sun sets on the family winery. "Keep doing what?"

As a chilling near-night air rushes by them Kaeya shivers. They are out because Diluc had sworn he had learned a new hunting trick with his latest bird Finn and of course Kaeya wanted to see whatever his big brother had come up with.

With sharp eyes, Diluc turns to the younger one and asks, "If I tell you something do you promise you won't tell dad?"

Bright blue eyes blink perplexed at the question. "I'm not a snitch, I can keep a secret!"

"Really now," Diluc muses a bit playfully, "Last I checked you were a terrible liar. You always get caught when you claim to have done your studies but you were actually slacking off."

"Hey! I don't slack off ever! And maybe I just want you to think I'm a bad liar. Did you ever think about that?"

The mere thought of Kaeya telling a successful lie makes Diluc laugh which startles Finn and for a moment the bird flaps its wings wildly ready to take off at the first sign of danger.

"Calm down feather brain," Diluc chides with a small smile. His lips drop back to a neutral position when he sees Kaeya is still watching him. Still waiting for whatever he was going to say. "You have to promise me you won't tell dad. Promise me, yeah?"

"I promise!"

Dilluc sighs and waves his arm slightly telling Finn to go off and search for a bit. The hawk takes the command easily and leaves the boys alone, ascending to the sky.

"You know how Valentine's Day is coming up?"

At the mention of the holiday Kaeya beams. "How could I forget, you know it's a personal favorite of mine!" The younger boy raises a brow. "But you don't-- Oh my goodness! Have you finally gotten a crush big brother?!"

With a visibly palling face, Diluc moves to cover Kaeya's mouth with his hands. "No! No, never! Uhg," he groans as his little brother knits his brows in confusion.

Kaeya sticks his tongue out and Diluc recoils at the nasty, wet feeling.

"Did you just lick me!?"

"You tried to muzzle me so it's only fair," he responds.

"I did no such thing! Uhg, Kaeya this is serious, can you just listen to me without interrupting."

The tone makes Kaeya stop his perpetual grin and stare blankly at the redhead. "Now you're scaring me 'Luc..."

He dismisses the very thought "As if. You aren't ever scared."

"Right. Well sorry. What did you want to say?"

"Ah," Diluc says and turns away from him almost bashful. "It's just that Valentine's Day is coming up and as I get older you know I will be the first heir to the Ragnvindr estate, right?"

"You are blood."

"It's because I'm older," Diluc says a little miffed at the conclusion Kaeya drew.

"You're blood," Kaeya repeats. "And you are older. You are the only heir to the estate." He speaks as if he's so sure that is the case. They've both seen their father's will. They both know their names are written down with love. So why such harsh words? Diluc doesn't have the time to figure it out.

"The point is," he says trying to get back on topic, "Is as the eldest there is much to be expected of me. Romance wise. Children wise."

Kaeya nods with sympathy. "Ah yes, I don't envy you for that big bro. I'm sure father is already picking suitors for you."

"He is."

"Oh," Kaeya blinks. He was joking. "Are any of them cute?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? He won't even give you a description of the girls he's looking at?"

"No, he even has photos I just-- I feel nothing for them."

Kaeya tilts his head like a puppy and thinks. "Oh. Oh! Well, then surely father can accommodate that! He has no qualms about my attraction to men and women. He didn't mind when I asked to change my name or titles either! I assure you he wouldn't mind if you were solely attracted to them."

Dilluc sighs. "I'm not a homosexual."

Now Kaeya is lost. He uses his magnificently large brain and he thinks to himself for a moment. The sun has nearly disappeared over the horizon and he glares at it hard as the meaning of his brother's words escape him.

Just what was he saying? He wasn't like Kaeya and he wasn't gay? Well, then what was left? How could you be--

Like lightning, it strikes him.

"No one," Kaeya says quietly as the first hint of stars twinkle in the sky. "You don't like anyone, do you? You don't fancy men or women or anyone, huh?"

All Dilluc says is, "You can't tell dad."

"I won't," he promises.

"I don't think I like anyone and I'm afraid I can't give dad everything that one might expect of the oldest for that very reason. I feel a horrible ache letting him down like that but what else can I do? Romance. Sex. Children. Marriage...none of that is for me. Love isn't for me."

"That's not true," Kaeya says, almost angry. "Sure romance and children and marriage might not be for you but love is. You love dad. You love me. You love Mondstad! You even love Jean even if she gets on your nerves from time to time. You love constantly."

"That doesn't count. You know what I mean."

Kaeya crosses his arms. "No, no, no! That does count. Sure it's not romantic love but it's love all the same and it counts. Love is for you Diluc, you just have different needs than most."

He takes a deep breath and looks at Kaeya whose eyes are shining with determination to make the point stick. He supposes that perhaps love could be for him. "Fine. I love, sometimes."

"All the time," Kaeya amends. "Damn bleeding heart."

The call of a hawk breaks through their conversation and the two turn up to see Finn circling half a mile away. He's found something prime for the killing.

"Do you want to go stab something dead," Kaeya asks knowing the answer.

All Diluc can do is smile with relief as he and Kaeya take off towards the bird.