dying young

I need to see you again

*Few weeks in future*

she hasn't slipped my mind. I went to bed holding her presence imagining that she was close. her voice lingered in my ear.
"why"
"why why why"
I slapped my hands to my face dragging my fingers down  trying to stop the thoughts from lingering more.
i sighed as I climbed out of my bed, today.
Today
I will be going to the training corps. I had a mindset, a goal. I needed to be in the top 10. I need to show i'm worthy.
Eren, Mikasa and Armin would be there as well. Eren said he would be a scout, always giving speeches about how it's the only way he'll be free.
I wonder if armin will follow, no doubt in my mind that mikasa would follow each step eren took but armin depicts his own future.
what would I do.
Follow my friends, follow armin... or follow my heart.

as i thought about this all she flowed through my mind.
I got dressed making sure that I fit criteria. I wasn't exactly thrilled for this but my heart was racing... which must mean something.

I opened the door with my eyes closed, something I always did because you can't predict what will behind it. what it holds. the air flowed onto my neck  making the hairs stand.
refreshing.
I took a step forward falling and landing on the street.
"y/n!" armin cried out as he shook his hands tears filled his eyes.
"i'm so sorry" armin picked me up brushing my skin.

"armin it's completely fine but what are you doing on my porch..." i looked into his eyes with a puzzling look he giggled.

"um kinda thought we'd go to corps together" he grabbed my arms and pulled me slightly in the direction.
I kept my head down embarrassed by the stupid question I had asked.

The streets were crowded making the hot air feel even more humid and sticky to the touch.

After a bit of walking and a short wagon ride we made it to the corps, people were being lined up.

terrifying.

I stood next to a tall man, his hair was differnt colors. he looked down at me and smirked. he leaned into my ear
"hey i'm jean" he clicked his tongue waiting for my response

"i'm y/n pleasure to meet you" i gave a small smile

the day started with being yelled at by a old man who was quite bald. he didn't ask me my name. we made eye contact and he rolled his tongue over to the next person.

When he finally finished everyone was set off to eat. I was hungry, my mind concentrated on the fact that we were getting full meals, something I haven't had in months.

I followed armin into a room, full of tables. I saw eren and mikasa sitting with jean and some others. armin and I made our way over.
Jean introduced me to sasha, connie and marco. We laughed and ate our food. I started to collect my plates when a whisp of blonde hair caught my eye.

My body jolted turning to the direction and see a figure distantly with hair similar to the girl, to annie.

Could it have been her.
could that really be her.

I didn't notice that I had dropped my plate. until jean waved his hand across my face.
I looked down flustered.
The room dropped silent and the girl turned.

It was her.

her eyes widened when they met mine, her cheeks turned red, and she gulped.
My hands trembled

I hadn't  noticed But i was inching closer.

everyone was watching.

"annie... is that you" my breath was staggered, I was shocked.

"yes, it really is" she walked out from in between her friends and made her way closer to me.

My heart was racing.

Pounding. 

She locked eyes with me, less than a foot away. I could feel her breath against my skin, everything about her was perfect.

She reached down to cleanup the plate i dropped and set it on the table.
"thank you I-" she cut me off by putting a finger on my lips.

"don't mention it, I don't need to be thanked" she smiled and turned.

"where are you going" I started walking after her but she ran out the door. I stood there. in silence. why. why was she here. why was she risking her life. why did she walk away from me.

I must not mean much to her.

"y/n! who was that and how did you know them" eren tugged at my arm, everyone looked at me.

armin looked me in the eyes. they told me exactly his thoughts.

"that's her" armin muttered.

"yes" i leaned on him. he put his arm round my shoulder.

"this is going to be very interesting then" he laughed walking away, "goodnight" was the last thing he said before he left.

I hadn't  realized I was the only one left. Now to do the cleaning alone.

I finished up but all I wanted to do was see her, tell her how's she been on my mind this whole time.

The door creaked open and in she walked.

She held one of her arms, her toes pointing inwards and she was shaky.

I walked over,  "annie, what's wrong why did you walk away from me-"

"what is your name" she yelled. flustered her face was a burnt tint, and she chewed her cheek.

"i'm y/n" I kept eye contact.

She then left.

What was that.

Wasn't she happy to see me again?