Stay~ [ft. Sakusa Kiyoomi]

3.

You fell into Sakusa, his arms circling around you as he dropped the journal. He held you tight, as you sobbed into his chest.

Was he disappointed in you? Did he think you were weak? These questions bounced in your mind as you cried. He probably hated you. He was probably angry with you, wanting to never talk to you again.

You pulled back from him, trying to steady your breath.

He watched you as you pulled away, breathing rapidly and heavily, as you put your hands on your throat as if to sooth it from the air that was abusing it.

When you looked like you got a handle on it, you looked back at him, tears still streaming down your face. He looked you in the eye, grabbing you hands from your neck, intertwining your fingers with is.

"Talk to me. Please. Tell me what's going on."

How could you tell him? How could you put into words your feelings? How could you explain?

The world felt dark around you, you couldn't seem to find any light. People talked around you, but their words meant nothing. When you ate, which you hardly did anymore, the food had no flavor. It felt like sand sliding down your throat. At night you found it hard to sleep, tossing and turning in your bed. Sometimes you curled up in the dark, staring at your wall, wishing for death to overcome you naturally, so that you wouldn't have to do it yourself. You couldn't even find energy to wake up and shower, much less get up and go to school. You skipped often, only coming to school today to get the things from your locker. You planned on leaving during the last few minutes of free hour, but Sakusa cut your plans off.

Now, here you were standing infront of him, an absolute mess, trying to find words to explain why you were planning on killing yourself.

You couldn't find them.

He continued to watch you, as your mouth opened and shut, the words not being good enough to slip out.

"Are you really planning on leaving me here? Are you going to leave me behind?"

He asked you this as he gripped your hands softly, moving close enough to where you could feel his breath on your skin.

You never really thought about it as leaving him behind. When he put it like that it made you think.

Did you really want to leave him?

The feelings you had were so jambled, the pain clouded everything.

You hurt, but if someone asked you to pinpoint the pain, you wouldn't be able to. Was it because it was multiple things? Or was it because it was one thing after another and something became a breaking point?
You looked at him through tear filled eyes and responded the best you could.

"I don't want to die, I just want to go somewhere the pain won't follow."

Sakusa felt his heart drop as you responded between sobs.

He decided that thinking wasn't good enough, he let his heart do the talking.