Warrior OC rater

Anonymous---Stormystar

Name: Stormystar

I love the "Stormy" part!

Age: 30 moons

I think that she is a little young to be a leader. Add a few moons onto her age.

Clan: Fireclan

I looked at the story early, so i think that this is a great name for a clan!

Gender: She-cat

More she-cats! 

Rank: Leader

Good for her! I hope she is a great leader!

Appearance: Tortoise-shell with blue eyes

I think you should add more to her appearance.

Personality: Protective and determined to be a good leader. Never gives up and always has her eyes set on reaching her goal. At first was rude and impatient, but, soon became caring and still impatient.

What is her goal? I like that her traits are balanced out between good and bad.

Story: Stormystar was born a loner, but became a rouge. She never had a kit or apprentice name, but instead was named Stormytail when she was a kit. Her parents are unknown, for they were killed along with her littermates by a Thunderclan patrol. Stormytail was the only survivor. She trained in the dark forest with Mapleshade, who she saw as a mother. Stormytail spent her entire life hunting down the cats who killed her family, only, when she found out who they were, she also found out that they were already dead. Stormytail then started to set aside killing a few cats that were already dead, and set her sights on killing Thunderclan. She trained other rouges who would wonder into the dark forest, while getting stronger by training with Mapleshade.When it was time for them to destroy Thunderclan, she hesitated when Mapleshade told her to kill Firestar with Tigerstar. But instead, she ran away, confused by why she couldn't do what she had spent her whole life training to do.Then, Stormytail set out for a new path, she wanted to redeem herself for her sins by creating her own clan that she would name after Firestar. She would meet many other cats on her way, and would eventually create Fireclan, becoming the leader of her newly made clan.Stormytail led them down to the lake, where she found the moonpool, and got her nine lives and new name as a reward for her deeds.

I love the story! I think you should add more good things that happened to her after her leadership. You should add a lot to the part where she is a leader.

Death: Stormystar lost her final life while trying to save kits during a flood.

I think that that is a pretty good ending for Stormystar. That is very unique!

So the score is...

7/10! All i have to say is add a lot more onto the story!