Spells and Handcuffs (Remus Lupin)

Different vow

His features softened. Through my tear-stained gaze, I saw him sink to his knees slowly and unexpectedly. His hands slid down my waist, resting at my hips, burying his head in my belly. I slid my fingers through his hair.

"Forgive me, Ash. I'm a fool and a coward!" His hands gripped me feverishly, his eyes rising to find mine. His were also full of tears. "Everything I just told you was awful! I want this child. I really want it. All this is so new to me. I'm just terrified that it might inherit my condition or be ashamed of me one day! Forgive me. I didn't have to say all these words. I didn't really mean them." With those words, such pain and despair appeared on his face that I couldn't be mad at him anymore.

The sadness in his eyes was breaking me down slowly. His inner-screams cried for love. His body was shaking with emotion, and I felt like I could feel his pain and insecurity. I actually forgave him immediately. At that moment we both crying for help from one another. We hugged. He hugged me. He held me tight as if his embrace could keep me safe forever. His softness was dragging me into an awake sleep. Remus wrapped his arms around me tightly, pressing his cheek to my belly. For the longest time, it was silent. He held me, and I was reeling with emotions. My anger melted away to nothing, his words and thoughts blowing as ashes in the wind. The tears streamed down my face, but I willed myself not to make a sound. His face turned and planted a kiss on my tummy, his arms never leaving mine.

"I love you," he murmured against me and I wasn't sure if it was for me or for our unborn baby beginning to grow inside me.

"At least you didn't run away. You are making progress. "I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit. He stood up, hugged me again, placing his chin on my head. I snuggled into him. He smelt like chocolate mixed with tea, making my nose tickle a little bit. He pulled away from me slightly enough to place his hand on my belly. He traced little circles on it.

"When?" he asked reverently, feeling my stomach as if searching for the little thing that would be his son or daughter.

"March, I think," I breathed slowly.

"So I have until spring to make you forgive me. "

"I have already forgiven you. I know your pain and insecurity. Rem, there is no evidence that lycanthropy is hereditary. But even so. We will love him just as much. And I don't know why you are afraid he will be ashamed of you. You are good, kind, smart and capable and I am sure you will give him all possible love. "

He sighed and smiled slightly. "Does anyone else know?"

"Everyone. "

"Everyone? And I'm the last who heard the news."

"You weren't here that long. Will you tell me what exactly you're doing in the last months?"

"Not tonight, please," he told me, then looked me up and down, his lustful look had returned. "I have other plans now."

"What exactly are the plans?" I asked, smiling.

"It's just between me and these two here." And with these words, he buried his head in my breasts, which made me laugh out loud.

***

It was just before dawn judging by the pale blue glow on the horizon. I could feel myself slowly wake. I was bleary and my limbs were heavy with sleep. My head was resting upon Remus's bare chest and our limbs entwined. His heartbeat was slow and rhythmic and his breathing measured. Remus was fast asleep. When I moved slightly, his arm unconsciously tightened around me. I smiled to myself. I exhausted him last night.

I didn't want to move. Moving meant that the day's events would also be set in motion. I wondered if I just pulled the covers over us, would the world disappear.