𝙏𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙖 𝙆.

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.*  You just weren't feeling your best this week, feeling so much pressure from school. You were a great student really, but sometimes you had your downs too.
Today was ruined as soon as you saw your exam this morning. A percentage of 59% was written in red with a circle around it. Sure for someone it wasn't that bad, but to you it meant a lot because it lowered your grade that you, not oh so easily, gained throughout the past few months. You swallowed hard, as thoughts of your mother being disappointed started clouding your head. You knew she won't be disappointed, she was always proud of you in every possible way. Still you felt like it wasn't fine, like you had to do better, fulfill the need of being a perfect child every mother could have. You knew you couldn't do everything perfectly, but you being a perfectionist you were made you think otherwise soon after that.
You were snapped out of your trance as you felt something poking your upper arm. You turned your head around and saw your blonde-haired boyfriend smugly smirking in your direction.
"What did you get babe?"-Kei asked. Yeah, the Tsukishima Kei was the person you referred to as your lovely boyfriend, the one and only.
You felt yourself get hot, as you were scared of embarrassing yourself by telling him your grade, not wanting for him to think less of you. Kei is a straight A student, and it's just real facts, you, as already mentioned, are also a pretty decent student but you thought this was bad, worse than it probably was. So, you decided to lie.
"90%, what about you Kei?"-you said casually.
You knew that he probably was the only one who got a perfect score.
"That's not so bad, tho I got a 100%"-he said smugly as a smirk was plastered on his face. It kind of irritated you at the moment.
"Better luck next time love."-he lightly snickered as he placed a quick light kiss on your cheek, as he composed himself again, trying not to be caught by the professor.
"Yeah."-you muttered, as you gripped the exam paper in your hands. Kei noticed you acting odd for the past few days. He looked at you from the corner of his eye, as he gave the exam to the person that was sent to collect those. You also gave yours back, and opened your notebook to start taking notes on what the professor was talking about. Kei noticed how all of your movements, from your hand scribbling down to you opening the book, were rushed and a lot quicker than usual, and it made him cringe. You were always so calm and composed. He knew something must've happened if you were acting this way. It made him kind of pissed and uneasy because you didn't tell him anything.
The school day ended soon, and you were exiting the classroom with Kei. Kei and you had a little tradition of going to his house after school every day to work on homework together and later spend some quality time together (cuddling, watching movies, just talking...etc.), but you just felt like not going with it today, you felt so upset at yourself that you didn't want to project that on Kei.
"Hey Kei?"-you asked, as he held your hand in his, the two of you already out on the street. He squeezed your hand in response while giving you a small nod.
"Hm?"-he lets out a hum.
"I'm sorry, but I won't be able to go to yours today."-you said. His face scrunched up as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and slight annoyance. He really treasured time with you, it was honestly his favorite part of the day, so taking it away from him did not make him feel alright. He knew something was wrong.
"And that's why?"
"I just don't feel like it today, I know I never refused to go, but I really don't feel like it."
"And why is that Y/n? You got something more important to do?"- he spat out, as he lets go of your hand stuffing it in his pocket. He wanted for you to tell him why you acted this way, he wanted you to open up, just like he does. It's a surprise really, but Kei eventually opened up to you and now really feels at ease when being able to talk to someone about his worries. It made him uneasy and worried, why you didn't want to do the same.
"No, as I said I just don't feel like comi-"
"Then don't come at all ever again."
"Kei, what's that supposed to mean?"
"You're not dumb you know what I mean. I didn't want you at my house anymore anyways."- he spat out in pure annoyance, wanting for you to tell him what's going on, but it all came out really bad. Your mouth was agape after his confession. Did he really not want you to be there? Kei knew it sounded bad, but he didn't have the guts to apologize right now, holding you're somehow going to figure out what he actually means. But you were no magician or a mind reader, and it all sounded so hurtful to you. You looked down at the ground, as tears appeared in the corners of your eyes. All this sh*t was too much already, and him telling you this was a cherry on top. Your body shook slightly from a light breeze that passed. Kei noticed this and instinctively reached to hug you, but his hand was slapped away harshly making him flinch.
"God! You wanted me away Kei! What the fuck do you want now!"-you exclaimed with tears in your eyes looking up at him. As he saw how your expression looked, guilt pooled trough him. Before he could reach you to say something, you stomped off down the street. You didn't want to have an outburst in front of him. You wiped your eyes with your sleeves, but they just didn't stop falling out of your eyes. Suddenly you feel arms sneak around your waist and a head being placed on your shoulder, recognizing the scent you exhaled. Kei.
"I'm sorry Y/n. I just wanted you to somehow tell me what's wrong, and I didn't know how to ask you. I know something has been bothering you for the past week, and it made me uneasy and just sad that you don't want to tell me what's going on. I don't want to pressure you, but you need to know I'll alsway understand. I love you Y/n."-he softly whispered in your ear, new tears flowed out of your eyes. God, you felt so secure right now, like you were totally safe. You felt safe with Kei.
"I-I just, all of this is too much. It's making me feel like I'm drowning. I'm really trying to be the best I can be, but all of my efforts seem to go to waste. Today I got a fu**ing 59% on my exam, and I lied to you because I didn't want you to think less of me, and I just felt so disappointed in myself. What is my mother going to say? She is going to be so disappointed with me. It just too much, all this stuff, all these things I have to do to meet someone's standards, it feels so pointless. I'm not getting anywhere with it, but if I give up I'll still lose. Kei, I don't know hat to do? You're so perfect, like I don't even know how you even have the time for all those things you do, I don't even play a sport and I'm still not able to make time. I'm just so useless. I can't. I-I just can't stand thi-"-Kei cuts you off  with a kiss on the lips. Your tears wetting his cheeks in the process, as you relaxed on him fully, while kissing him back. It was a long sweet kiss, as you stood in the middle of the street. After a minute or two, the two of you separate. His palms reaching to cup your cheeks as he wipes the new tears that were flooding in your eyes. You bit on your bottom lip, as a sob escaped your mouth. Kei holds your face while looking at you with most sincere gaze you ever saw.
"It also makes me feel sad when I see you like this ya know? It makes me feel like you don't see how much you do, how good you're doing, how you make everything so perfect, so full and I can't even explain it. You make everything look so perfect, and the fact that you don't understand it and see yourself as I do  makes my heart ache so bad. God I might just start crying myself. Your mother will never be disappointed in you because she doesn't have a reason to. Your grade form today does not matter to me at all, even if you failed all your classes, which I hope you'll not, i would still see you the same way. A girl that tries her best, and it makes me feel all fluttery inside ya know? You're not useless, you're so great at the things that you love, the things that make you smile. Oh that smile, to see it everyday of my life I won't complain. I love you, and I hope you can trust me enough to tell me if something bothers you like this ever again. I really do love you Y/n."- as he finished, you couldn't believe that he spoke so much and it wasn't for a presentation or something. It was for you. You pulled him by his shirt and placed your lips on his as you closed your eyes kissing him deeply. He was shocked at first but soon gave in.
You broke the kiss as you hugged him tightly.
"Thank you Kei. I love you too, so much."-you said as you placed your head on his chest. The two of you stood there, only sounds of cars and people walking around you. It was comforting, even though the street was packed, the only people you could focus on was each other. You felt you phone buzzing in your pocket. You took it out, your mother calling. As you answered she asked if you were with Kei, and when you'll be coming home. You said that you'll be there soon, as you ended the call.
With a happy sigh, you took Kei's hand in yours and started walking.
"So going home yeah?"
"Yeah."
The two of you walked towards your house, and as you stopped in front of it, you hugged him once more.
"Really Kei, thank you for everything."
"It's no big deal. Just remember, you can always come to me."
"Yeah, thanks."
He squeezed your waist one time before letting go and bidding you a "goodbye", before walking off.

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