in the end...

maybe a first

                                                                                     SAYAKA POV

today was well... something? i mean that in a good way, mukuro saved me from one of my creep fans and it was impressive! they also smiled... her smile was something else but i dont know what. and then our walk she seemed so happy... it meant so much to me..

    i had gotten home after we parted ways not long after. dad was always out of town, by now its more surprising when someone else IS there. i started texting my bandmates but they can be... boring to me? they are the sweetest but they just rant about their way over aged model boyfriends.

  i had gone off laying in bed, letting my mind just wander... was mukuro the same girl in my dream or just an insane similarity? i mean they do look rather generic in the nicest  way possible, it was a mere glimpse of her, she was in my crowd at a concert i stopped singing because she was there, then when i was talking with my crew they asked why i stopped and i claimed i saw the light of my life... holy shit.

   what if my dream was right? could mukuro be my light? theres no way... i mean shes sweet? and pretty... and protects me even if ive only known her for a bit... 'DONT GO OFF TOPIC SAYAKA THERE IS NO WAY' she probably already forgot about me for all i care, she protected me ONCE why do i feel like this...

   there is no way i can ever face her in the eye again... i might go insane if i look at them one more time theres no way someone that dark could be my light... right? i mean shes smart and athletic so maybe i just wanna BE her... yeah thats my current conclusion... besides if i did like her she wouldnt like me.. she doesnt actually care she just wanted to avoid her sister...

   i had started crying... i want her to be my friend for as long as possible but me having a maybe crush doesnt help.. if im being honest ive never had an actual crush so these tingles in my stomach are odd... she probably has people to hang out with besides me but whatever makes her happy i suppose...

    i checked the time "shit" it was 10 pm and i had homework due the next day... wait have i seriously been laying here for hours? you know what never mind i dont care if i fail anymore.

i had fallen into a restless sleep thinking about muku 'did i seriously make her a nickname in my head? jeezz i hope all supposed friends do this...' this next year would suck with muku here.

(ooh two updates in one day !! anyway sayakas down bad and mukuros obliviously down bad but honestly as they should)