Welcome to the Land of the Crazy

Chapter Three - "Dude, did you just lick me?"

The falling rain made an almost deafening plitter-platter all day long, and I leaned my forehead against the cool glass of the kitchen window. It had been three days since I had been transformed into Noah Simmons, the son of Tom and Josie, and brother to Tony, Michael and Caleb. I ran a hand through my short platinum hair, which was barely two centimetres long. Two days ago, my death notice was released by the Minister for Defence on national television. Of course, they knew I was still alive, but that everybody else had to think I had died in a freak accident.

There was even a plaque raised in my honour.

The fact that I was a wonder child was splashed all over the newspapers, and He had called as soon as my 'death' was announced, congratulating Michael, who claimed to have 'killed' me. Josie explained about little Noah being found wandering in the woods by Tony, and how she wanted to adopt him. Apparently, He hastily agreed to take me in, saying it was better than kidnapping a baby like they were planning to.

My adoption papers went through quickly, He seemed to want to make his mother as happy as possible by giving her a new child. I was officially a member of the Simmons' family. 

He was due home today, and so was their father. Or was he my father too?

Was Tom Simmons my father now?

"Hey, Rube. It'll be fine, promise, little bro." Tony spoke from behind me, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "You should stop calling me Rube, my names Noah now." I murmured, looking down.

"Noah, babe, your still Ruby. You're just Noah too, it's only for a year or two, promise. And I'll look after you, and so will Michael. Cal won't figure it out, he's too dense. Moron." I giggled at his weird sentence, calling me Ruby, Noah and babe all at once? Kyle sauntered past, and met my gaze warmly, "Noah, he won't know it's you, hell; I didn't know it was you!" I laughed, remembering Kyle's look of confusion when he saw me, but not as ME. Then Josie popped into our small circle, "Just glue yourself to Tony or Kyle. Kyle is technically your cousin now." I spluttered in shock, Kyle was my COUSIN NOW TOO?! "Yeah, Cal hates me. And he thinks Tony is a wee baby, so he stays away from him. But I guess you're the baby in the family now!" Kyle smirked, ruffling my hair.

Suddenly, the front door barged open, making me jump. A long line of curses came from the porch and my blood froze in my veins.

He was here.

Caleb wandered into the kitchen, and smiled confidently, "I'm home!" Josie laughed joyfully, and went to give him a hug. I saw the love she had for him shining from her, and I felt a pang of jealousy, he was her real son. I was just an imposter, a fake. Caleb high-fived Michael and Tony glared at Kyle and glanced around the kitchen curiously. I realized then that I was seeing a different Caleb; this one was relaxed, not tense and furious.

"So, where's my new little brother?" He probed, teasingly. I remembered I had to act naturally, like I had never met him before.

I hopped off the windowsill energetically, and bounded towards him, shaking inside, but calm outside. "Hi, I'm Noah and I'm nine. Are you my brother too?" I grinned gummily up at him, hoping he didn't see through my façade. Caleb blinked, once, twice, three times. I saw Tony holding his breath, and Michael ready to jump in front of me. Josie was tense, and Kyle was watching curiously.

"Hey, little guy. So, you're mams new little baby boy? It's fun, promise. She lets the youngest lick the spoon when she makes cakes." Caleb bent at the knees down to my four foot nine, eyes twinkling playfully. I laughed shakily, and Caleb quirked his eyebrows. "He's shy, or is he terrified of me?" He asked Josie, who smiled in relief, "He's shy. It'll take him a while to get used to you. Noah seems to have attached to Tony." Tony met my eyes and winked, "And I also told him that you eat little kids, Cal, so his terror might be my fault."