LOST

eight

Finneas

With the way I walk, I know I look like a zombie. I know I look dead. Every step I take isn't full of life or pep. Not anymore since being ripped from the biggest moments of me and my sister's lives! It's been over a week since her disappearance and I can't fucking function. I can't pretend I'm fine. Everything is a punch to the gut and it hurts more and more by the second. The public are confused as well. PR has been working nonstop to make it seem she's okay, even posting fucking pictures on her instagram! That's not good enough. The rest of the world tour was cancelled without an explanation. 50 shows. Thousands of people. All confused and angry. It's already circling around social media. Why did Billie Eilish cancel her tour? Did she become lazy or hate her fans? Why post on instagram pretending as if nothing is happening when the internet is already making it a meme? Surly you'd know then. But no. They were all wrong. My sister isn't lazy or inconsiderate. She's missing. She's lost.

For now, my team hired new security. Much better and equipped ones. I have two everywhere I go now. Ever since I suggested that it might have been a kidnapping, they took no chances and made everything tighter. I can hardly breathe being around these men all day. I couldn't even go shopping on my own anymore. I couldn't even buy my mother's favorite chocolate without them constantly breathing down my neck and being suspicious of everyone and everything. I'm frustrated to fucking hell.

I took a couple deep breaths to calm myself. I rubbed my face to get the stress off it. Didn't work. I need to remember I'm in public and I can't make it seem i'm in any sort of distress because I don't know who's watching. At least that's what PR told me.

I looked over at the shelf of candies and picked out my mom's favorite. It was sort of a surprise and a part of me knew she wasn't going to eat it, but I got it anyways. Close by were collections of stuffed animals as happy as can be. I picked out one as well to match with the chocolates. I just want my mom to stop crying so hard that she passes out. It's never nice to see someone so usually joyful in a state of vulnerability.

"Excuse me? Are you Finneas?" I turned around quickly to see a young girl. She had dark red hair and alt type clothing fashion. She wore one of Billie's Blohsh shirts. My throat closed up and it took a lot of my strength not to cry right then and there. Instead, I put on a big smile like I was told to do. "yeah that's me, hi." I said politely watching the girl get more and more giddy. She also seemed like she was trying to keep her composure. All for different reasons of course.

"Oh my god I love yours and Billie's music! You're insane at producing!" I smiled again brightly trying to hide that I flinched at her name "I really appreciate your support that means the world." I pulled her into a hug which she immediately took. My security was several feet from me, and they were giving hard looks at me and the fan. I was specifically told not to interact with anyone, including fans, but I couldn't do that. I wouldn't want to see the disappointment on her face and look like a dick.

"That's enough. Finneas is very busy and needs to leave." One of my security interrupts rudely. The fan pulled away and I already saw the sadness on her face. "It's okay." I whispered to her making her smile softly. "Well, I don't want to waste your time then. Could I get a picture, please?" She asked shyly holding out her phone.

"No pictures." The other guard said just as rude and demanding. I rolled my eyes. "Guys a picture isn't hurting anyone." I faced them but they were not in the least deterred. "No pictures." He repeated. I sighed turning back. She looked confused as to what was happening. I was too, I couldn't blame her.

"Do you have a pen? And a piece of paper?" I asked more quietly so my guards couldn't hear. She nodded and rummaged through her bag and pulling out a mini notebook and sharpie.