Please, leave a stain on this vast emptiness

Chapter 2

Sitting across from the principal of Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School is extremely unnerving.

As someone who has scarcely seen people from outside the Jūnisakura estate, Tsumi's communication skill with strangers is almost nonexistent, to be suddenly kicked out from home and thrown into an unfamiliar environment did not give him any time to mentally prepare either. The best he could do is maintaining eye contact while ignoring his body's urgent need to quake in his seat because of fear, even though holding his negative emotions in means cursed energy builds up inside him, he does not want to act namby-pamby in a serious interview.

"Not much of a talker?" The principal asks while continuing to scrutinize him, from the start of the interview his hand has not stopped working in his lap, crocheting a woollen doll that could only be described as an uglily cute chimera of some sort.

"Not really." Tsumi wants to praise himself for managing to keep his voice sounding intact.

"I'll make this brief then, since I've already investigated a bit when I received the entry request letter, I have a basic understanding about you. I am Yaga Masamichi, the principal." With that introduction Yaga lifts his arms and crosses them in front of his chest: "Jūnisakura Tsumi, why are you here?"

"Because my family put in a letter." Tsumi thought it is quite obvious.

"That's your family, but what about you? Why did you come here?"

Oh. Tsumi frowns, he does not want to be here, not in the least interested. He is done with jujutsu, just to spite his family. But his father's threat lingered in his mind.

"There are several goals I wish to achieve as a jujutsu sorcerer. First, as jujutsu ability is something that is uncommon, I believe I should not let it go to waste, this motivates me to seek professional education. Second, as heir to the Jūnisakura clan, it is my duty to master the technique I have inherited from my clan and pass it down among the next descendants like how the Jūnisakura ancestors have done to this day. Third, if I have an ability that would help others in need, I should put it into action, I cannot let myself sit back when there is something I can do for others, it is the right thing to do as someone who lives in a society, to contribute their share. As such, I will need experience and guidance to further polish my talent if I want to be able to become the person I wish to be in the future." Lies, Tsumi does not care for his talent, his family or society, or what he will become in a few years or so, but this is such a role model answer it probably gains him some brownie points for his interview, if he tackles whatever questions coming next with the same attitude he's probably got this interview in the bag.

"No." Tsumi frowns when he hears Yaga's single rejection.

"If I wanted to hear something this nice I would have turned to fiction, what I want is your true feelings about enrolling." Yaga frowns back, Tsumi could feel his strict gaze penetrating his soul: "Do you have anything, anyone, anywhere you truly want to use your jujutsu ability for? If there isn't, why should you bother? When one day you might just regret involving yourself with jujutsu for nothing or the wrong idea."

Komen's visage and voice flashes in Tsumi's mind when he hears Yaga's question, he lowers his head as he thinks carefully, there is a long silence before he finally speaks: "Sorry for taking so long."

Yaga only nods: "Go ahead."

"I would appreciate... if what I'm about to say would stay in this room. I..." Tsumi swallows, he feels like crying: "Please, promise this conversation would not find its way back to the ears of the Jūnisakura family."

"What happens during an entrance interview is strictly confidential as it is the privacy of the would-be student, only faculty members will handle the information, speak your mind."

"Thank you. Well, maybe I would want to learn for my sister because of her gentle encouragement."

Brother should seek proper education instead of being locked up at home like me. Unlike me, brother is sure to have such a perfect future, I eagerly await for the day when my brother becomes an elite jujutsu sorcerer.

A perfect future would be where he escapes the clutches of the Jūnisakura family, reuniting with his little sister and they will both proudly hold their head high and move forward.

"But ultimately, I would want to learn for me. I hate the current life I live, I hate the people I am surrounded with, but I am powerless to do anything, couldn't get anything I want, couldn't stop anything from being taken away. I want to be powerful enough to live the way I want, I will do anything I can till I can change myself to be someone who can give himself a perfect future. I don't care about jujutsu, not in the slightest, in fact, I hate jujutsu for landing me in this mess of a life. But if it provides me a chance for my perfect future, I won't reject it." Tsumi's speech stumbles and stutters a lot, compare to writing out a logical essay in his mind, putting his true feeling into words is much more difficult. He feels embarrassed, but this emotion is not creating any cursed energy within him, how strange: "Sorry, my reason is so selfish, but I truly, well... please..."

He bows his head so low he could only see his trembling hand in his lap, his vision is blurry and he forces himself to hold back tears, do not get emotional now.

"Like I said, noble reasons, standard answers mean nothing to me. What I want is the raw desire one has. I want to see one's resolve, the meaning of jujutsu to them." Yaga is back to busying himself with that doll of the eldritch specie: "You pass, don't lose sight of your wish on the journey of your study."

"Thank you." Fatigue washes over Tsumi before he can celebrate, he slumps in his chair as he processes the good news.

A few minutes of silence passes between them until Yaga grits out: "He's late, so late that he's still not showing up to show the dorms."

"It's alright, I can find them myself." Tsumi stands up, Yaga nods after sighing.

"Before you go, I should inform you that your uniform would arrive after sometime. Usually any customization request would be taken after the student is shown to the dorms, but since you are going alone I might as well do it for you now."

"A standard one is just fine." Tsumi replies but ponders a little before adding: "But I'd like it to be thermal and waterproof, and have a breast pocket that can close if possible."

Yaga nods and Tsumi leaves the dōjō.