The untold story of the first wife

Chapter 8 - Sacrifice

Yuvraj's POV

I never believed that a single day could change your life upside down until today.  Earlier when I entered the East wing, I noticed that it is not the same chamber anymore. The decorations are changed entirely from the curtain colors to the position of bed and other things.

I had a sudden realization that I never entered the chamber for years, approximately 8 or 9 years. Along came another realization that it is exactly after my second marriage that I forgot that I already had a wife and being busy in wars I just had a formal relationship with Anamika informing her of the war situations time to time from the war camps through letters.  Once I came back I go to west wing only, initally due to children and later that became my routine. I always think after few days in west wing, I will go to east wing but didn't go,  sometimes due to work, sometimes due to the children when they are infant and other times due to tantrums of pregnant Saudamini.

Now looking back at that,  I couldn't even justify my actions. If I really wanted to go, I would have made time for Anamika but I didn't. Whatever I say now it will all be just excuses.

After hearing Masa's talk and about Pandit ji's prediction, I couldn't help but relive the moment when my second marriage was arranged with Saudamini. I didn't even want to see her face and I didn't want to cheat Anamika even though it is legal marriage.

But Today here I am, being a husband whom I  feared I will become if I do a second marriage.  There is no one to blame but me, not even Saudamini.  I should have given equal rights to both my wives.

In fact, I should have given even more time to Anamika than Saudamini as she doesn't have a child while Saudamini has 5 children.  Now it's too late.  People say its better late than never. But I know Anamika very well.

I was in deep thinking that I didn't realize Masa coming to me and taking a seat beside me. She kept a hand on my shoulder which made me come out of my thinking. I looked at her and silently kept my head on her lap and closed my eyes.

Today I'm going to do the same what I did ten years ago. Taking a deep breath, I told Masa who was waving my hair with her hand, "Masa!  Can you please tell this to Saudamini carefully considering her pregnancy. I don't want to take risk with her health as the last pregnancy with the twins was complicated."

I know I'm being a coward again this time like the time of asking Anamika's consent but I don't want to be the one to tell this to Saudamini. I cannot see the shocked and disappointed face of her.  Last time when I told Anamika about Masa's idea of second marriage even though I refused it, there was a momentary disappointment on her face which I still cannot forget. Now her fears have come true and I did nothing to stop it or assure her that she will always be my first wife and also first love.

Masa spoke suddenly, "No yuvraj, Don't make the same mistake twice. It doesn't look good for a future king. A wise person is not the one who makes mistakes but the one who learns from his mistakes and doesn't repeat the same mistake again. "

I controlled my emotions and taking a deep breath sat up from her lap and said, "OK Masa, I will do it. You don't worry about this and take rest." Saying this, I went away from her chamber and started walking towards the west wing.

I know it will hurt Saudamini but I just wish it doesn't harm the baby. When I entered the west wing, I saw Saudamini knitting some clothes for the baby. She always knit clothes for a boy thinking atleast this baby will be a heir.  But destiny seems to disappoint her always.

Clearing my throat I gained her attention and when she saw me, she smiled like she got every happiness in the world. But I know that this will not last longer. Before thinking about anything else and worrying about the consequences, I directly came to the point, "Saudamini! Today Masa called Anamika and me for a meeting regarding Pandit ji's prediction about the male heir"

But before I could finish properly, She cut me off in the middle and assumed something by herself as always. "What did he say about my baby?  Will this be a boy or we have to go for one more baby?" I shook my head at her and remembered the time when I had ordered a new set of bangles for Anamika as a gift for our 6th Anniversary which came when Saudamini was in her last month of pregnancy.  Before I could say that it was for Anamika, Saudamini thanked me for the gift and said that she liked it very much and wore it immediately. I couldn't even get a chance to open my mouth and tell her the truth. Later I just sent a letter to Anamika wishing her on our Anniversary without even visiting her chamber as Saudamini had lot of troubles because of the baby kicking continuously.  And that was the first anniversary Anamika and I didn't celebrate together. And that was the first anniversary I didn't have her a gift. Little did I know that was just a starting and I have no one to blame but myself.

Coming out of my thoughts by the shaking of my shoulder, I met with an excited face of Saudamini.  "What happened Yuvraj? Did you start dreaming of the baby boy now itself? Just tell me fast yuvraj. What did Pandit ji said? "

Without giving out my emotions, I looked at her in the eye and told, "Pandit ji said that we will have only girl child again. And Anamika is the one who will give us a heir. And he also mentioned that the full moon day after 2 months is good for producing a heir. "

She was shocked would be an understatement.  She stilled like a statue and didn't say anything for sometime. After a few minutes, I saw a lone tear escape her eyes. Then she couldn't control herself and sat on the bed and cried. I let her cry as she needs to let out her emotions.

When she sobered up, she looked at me and asked, "So you will not come to my chamber hereafter. Is that what you want to say Yuvraj?"

"No. I came here to ask your permission for that, on Anamika's condition", I replied her calmly. She looked surprised at that but didn't say anything and after a few minutes looked at me and said, "I give you permission yuvraj.  As your second wife I don't have any objections with you having a child with your first wife".

I nodded at her still emotionlessly and went away to my chamber. I just want to forget everything that happened today and sleep.  I will announce Saudamini's decision to everyone tomorrow in the meeting.

Saudamini thinks she is the only one who is sacrificing her right but she doesn't know that Anamika is also sacrificing but her self respect.

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Thanks,
SM.