Toxic (JIKOOK) COMPLETED

4.

A/n: Votes and comments are appreciated.

When I regained my consciousness, I found myself laying on the same spot. Groaning with pain, I slowly stood up in my feet and entered the bedroom.

I saw him sleeping peacefully on the bed after beating me to pulp. He could have atleast placed me on the bed or couch after hurting me to such point instead of leaving me there on the corridor itself.

I wondered how a person could even sleep by inflicting that much amount of  pain upon someone. And in that case that someone was noneother than me whom he said he loved.

I took a shower and treated my wounds. I was so disgusted by my own reflection in the mirror. My eyes looked dead. I looked horrible with all those swollen and painful bruises that decorated me from head to toe. I silently cried while placing my hands on the sink.

My swollen eyes and my pathetic self were constantly trying to convince my mind saying, 'This isn't love. This isn't what love is supposed to be.'

But, what about my heart? It wasn't convinced at all. No matter what jungkook did with me, I couldn't be angry towards him at all and that's what made me furious with myself.

Neither I was able to take a stand for myself nor I was able to leave him. I was so dependent on him. Though he wasn't sorry for abusing me innumerable times, I found myself reaching out to him and seeking his warmth at the end.

He was there on the bed, wide awake with his legs crossed when I came out of the bathroom.

' I hope you learned your lesson, jimin.' I froze when he said those words, so casually as if he hadn't done anything wrong with me. He had his eyes straight when he spoke. He wasn't even bothering to look at me.

Tears were once again threatening to fall from my eyes but I held myself back as I was utterly tired of crying.

'Now come and sleep.' He said as he finally looked at me and tapped on the duvet signalling me to go to him.

I guess he was thinking I would give in to his words like any other times but that moment, I didn't do so. I didn't want to talk with anyone. I didn't want to sleep and definitely not by his side.

He had no idea how much he was hurting me. He had no idea what I was going through.

Getting abused one moment and craving for the affection of your own abuser the very next moment, even the mere thought of it made me sick. It made me want to puke. Out of sudden, nausea hit my senses and I ran off to the bathroom. I gagged as I kept my hands on both sides of the sink trying very hard not to stumble down since I felt very weak.

When I felt a bit better, I rinsed my mouth and washed my face. I found him standing on the door way with his folded hands.

'You alright?' He asked me and I couldn't even see a bit of concern in his face. He wasn't the jungkook, I fell in love with.

I couldn't look at him anymore and hence I just walked past him towards  the living room without letting out even a single world from my lips.