Scouts honor

goodbye montana part 2

"i need to peeeeee" i complain squirming in my seat. Jonas and landen both groan. i look back at them with a death glare. "hey we should stop to see dad in Indiana " i say. "well that will be a while because we're still in Montana." Jonas said.

we stop at a gas station next to a McDonald's, i ran to the bathrooms while they ordered food. "and can we get fries and a chocolate milkshake." Chris adds to the order. "nice! i could never remember her order" landen laughs. "yeah we get fast food a lot" Chris chuckles. i walk out of the bathroom with a big smile on my face. "im fine now" i cling onto Chris. i get back in the car and sipped on my milkshake.

it was getting pretty late and i was tired but i wanted to stay up so Chris won't be lonely driving with no one to talk to. "can we get coffee" i ask Chris. "uh absolutely not" Jonas says from the back. "why not?" he sits up. "whenever you drink coffee, you diarrhea" i slide down in my seat embarrassed."shut up!" Chris laughs. "you're fine baby" he puts his hand on my thigh.

"here let's stop at Walmart" i beg Chris. "why? it's 3am" he asks. "it'll be fun" i wink putting my hair in braids and he pulls into the parking of Walmart. we all get out of the van. shopping at 3am just hits different. you know? me and Jonas try on some sunglasses and took pictures of each other. he showed me the picture of me and i laugh too loud

i grab a monster and some sushi, red bull for Chris, sweet tea for Jonas and coffee for landen since he'll be driving next. no fun. "what are you doing?" landen crosses his arms, looking at the monster in my hand. "what?" i look down and he takes it from me. "hey! im 22 i think i'm old enough for you to stop bossing me around." i snatch it from his hands.

i sit in the back with Jonas, eating my sushi. don't worry Chris gave me medicine to keep my stomach calm. Chris pulls out his vape and inhales. he holds it out to me and i take it from him, inhaling the watermelon nic into my body. "i did not know you vaped still" landen said. "after mom not giving a shit about me i released stress by doing drugs" i inhale again getting a little buzzed.

Jonas pulls out a bag of prerolls. "sick" Chris grabs one and Jonas gives him a lighter. he gives me one as well and i take the lighter, i blow the smoke out of my mouth, sending the smell of weed everywhere. "okay we are not hotboxing my car right now" landen opens the windows and the smell starts to faint away. after a few hits more i start to trip out (im a lightweight).

me and Jonas were laughing so hard until tears came out of our eyes. "you know me and chris had really great sex not that long ago" i laugh really hard and jonas high as well laughs his ass off. "okay babe you need to get some sleep" Chris wasn't high so he grabs his bag and pulls out my melatonin. he put it in my mouth i thought it was candy so i didn't complain.

PUKE WARNING
i woke up laying down in the back and i see jonas still sleeping next to me. i get a major headache, nicsick. i sit there with my head spinning and i feel dizzy. "landen" i ask groaning. "yeah?" he asks from the driver's seat. "pull over" his eyes get wide and quickly pulled over on the side of the highway. "baby you okay?" Chris asked.

i opened the door and threw up, Chris held my braids back and when i was done i closed the door. "you alright now?" he rubs my back and gives me a water bottle. "yeah i'm fine now" i grabbed tums out of my bag. "how much longer?" i go back to the backseat next to Jonas."well we're almost in Indiana." landen looked at the gps.

"we're seeing dad? yay!" i never saw my dad, after my mom left him she took us with her and he tried to stop her but she won in cort because he was "too poor" which was bullshit, he cared about us and he loved us and he didn't want to leave us.

finally it was my turn to drive and it made me feel way better,i have more control too. Jonas finally wakes up from sleeping for so long. "good morning sleeping beauty" i laugh. he groans and sits his seat up. "laides we're here!" i pull into my dads driveway. i take my seatbelt off and got out of the car.

the rest of the boys get out and i knock on the door. my dad opens the door and he stood there as shocked as i was when i met the best crew for the first time, he smiles and hugs me hard. "how are my babies?" we go inside. "nice house dad" jonas looks around.

i tell my dad EVERYTHING about me, haven't seen him in 17 years. he seems so happy to see us. "we saw mom" jonas looks down. "how'd it go" my dad asks. "per usual, cat yelling and she left like she's the one who got hurt" my dad shakes his head. "kitty... who's this?" he looks over to chris. "oh this is chris, my boyfriend. i met him in NC when i moved there. well i kinda live with him" i chuckle nervously. "nice to meet you" Chris shakes his hand.

"we should probably get going soon" landen grabs my hand and pulls me. "it was really nice to see you again dad" i hug him. we walk out of his house and i get in the car. "you didn't tell him everything" landen gets in the drivers seat. "what?" i ask. "you didn't tell him about the second time you tried to-" i cut him off by putting my hand on his face. "chris doesn't know?" he whispers. "no and neither does Jonas and i'm not planning on it"

TW (s*icide, p*lls, s*lf h*rm etc)
it was about 2am and i was still awake but jonas and chris were passed out. "what's on your mind?" landen asks. "i kind of feel guilty for not telling him about it. the overd*se, and all that shit" i sigh. "you tell him when you want to tell him kitty" he reassures me. i give him a week smile "jonas doesn't know either and i really do not want him to know about it so please-" i tell him. "i wouldn't do that, i know what he would do" he pats my shoulder.

next morning
i wake up to see Chris in the driver seat and landen in the back sleeping. Jonas wide awake as well. hopefully he doesn't remember last night. "you slept in for quite a while" chris points to the time. 3pm, i rub my head. "we'll be home around 10 tonight" i get relieved, i just wanted to sleep in my bed. i get a notification
From jonas🤌
cat, i heard you last night. we need to talk.

i look back at him. "no we really don't" he pulls my arm and he's whispers in my ear. "don't pull this shit on me, why the hell did you not tell me? your own brother" i roll my eyes. "because you get all over protective and worried, too worried." jonah unbuckles my seat belt and pulls me in the back. "im not talking to you about this" i look at chris in the front.

jonas grabs my chin and turns my head. "you know what happened to kaden, i do not want that happening to you. i love you kitty, you're my sister and i don't want you dead. why did you do it again? i cant loose you too" his eyes tear up. i roll my eyes. "you're dumb, im not k*lling myself"i go back in the front.

11pm
i took a nap and woke up to chirs opening my car door so i closed my eyes so he can carry me in. "i know your awake" chris laughs setting me on my feet. i walk in and i see jimmy, chandler, karl, viking, tyler and garrett all in the living room. "you're home!" jimmy yells and smile. i run to jake and hugged him. "we missed you guys" chandler said hugging me tight. "well guys i want you to meet my brothers. Jonas and landen walk in and jonas looked like he was gonna pass out. "this is jonas, he's a really big fan." i laugh at him. "kitty i cannot believe you just hang out with them like it's no big deal" the boys look at me confused. "it's a nickname" i whisper.

they were all chattering in the living room so i went into my room, i look through my bags and saw a kate spade bag, i opened into to see bl*des and p*lls, i was such an ass to jonas today i feel guilty. i roll my sleeves up to see scars, my eyes filing with tears. im hurting others more than myself. "hey cat-" chandler walks in and looks at what i was doing. "no no no!" i whisper slamming the door closed.

"cat what the hell?" he looks through the bag. "don't freak out okay, i wasn't doing anything i was just looking through it" he walks up to me and takes my arms to look at the scars closer. "why didn't you tell any of us?" he looks at me. "because it's embarrassing and im ashamed of it, i didn't want make you guys worry about me and make me your top priority. i dont do it anymore, i promise." he steps closer to me and hugs me. "please don't tell chris, i'll tell him but not yet." i talk quieter.

chandler walks out and then i walk out. "what's going on?" chris asked. "chandler walked in on me trying to change and then he choose an outfit for me!" i say really fast. chandler looks at me with wide eyes. "chandler!" jimmy laughs. "sorry chris" chris looked mad but shook it off. "well im off to bed, love you all" i blow a kiss to all of them and got into bed.