Breathe Again

Chapter 13

•Killian•

I woke up hot and sweating. It was the same shit every time I try to get actual sleep. Getting off Sydney I got out the bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face with cold water.

Looking at myself in the mirror I shook my head. "Fuck man. I'm so sorry bro." I'm getting real tired of this shit a nigga can never just sleep. It is what it is tho. Walking out the bathroom I turned the fan on before I got back in my spot with Sydney.

She started rubbing my back again and I ain't gon hold you that shit feel good as hell. "You okay?"

"I'm straight."

"You sure? We can talk about it if you want."

I lifted my head off her stomach so I could look at her and she was already watching me. "How you know something wrong?"

"I mean you move a lot in your sleep sometimes and those be the days when I catch you up early. Then yo energy be a little off for a while like something upset you."

Fuck it I might as well tell somebody. "I be having nightmares and shit. Not the regular damn that was crazy and you forget about it later type." I laughed a little. "Shits crazy cause these the same ones every time and it's memories so I can't forget em."

"They got something to do with your mom?" She knows I don't like Keyshia better known as my "mother" but she don't know why. I said it before I'll say it again I hope that bitch is dead. Everything she did to us? Nah she shouldn't be alive.

"I swear on my life I was a good person. Ian even think about doing nun of the shit I've done but people take yo kindness and fuck you over. That lady hated me for no reason. I tried to show her that I loved her and that I was worthy of her love."

Shaking my head I continued to speak. "I was her fucking child she neglected me in every way so my grandma took me. Then Keyshia decided well damn it's been 6 years since I fucked up a kid let me do it again."

"You have a sibling? Cause you told me—"

"Had ma. I had a sibling, he's gone now." I cut her off because I already knew she what she was gonna say.

"Look at me." She grabbed my face the same way I do hers when I'm serious. "You don't gotta tell me everything now, but know that whenever you're ready I'm here to listen alright?"

That's deadass my favorite thing about this girl. When she rocking wit people you know you got her support. Even if she don't fully agree you still get that 100 percent energy from her. Ion even know how to describe it but it's like she just understand shit. When input needed you get that, and when you just gotta get something off yo chest she'll listen. So I try to be that same person for her. Cause you can't just go around trynna solve everybody problems been there done that and when I needed someone to help wit my problems ian have nobody.

"Heard you." For a minute I was just staring at her face really looking at her. Like her eyes, cheeks and lips. She just different you feel me. These bulldog face bitches not fucking wit her. "Son you real life so beautiful."

I watched her suck her teeth before she smiled at me. "You acting like I don't look a hot mess."

"Cap. What time is it?"

Sydney picked her phone up to check the time. "Why this so bright, it's 3:42."

"Early as hell. You finna go back to sleep?" I ain't wanna have her up tired cause my problems.

She shook her head. "No Imma stay up and watch something wit y—ou" Claim she wanna stay up but can't finish a sentence witout yawning Rmao.

"Syd you good go back to sleep."