And to Think- George Weasley x Reader

Chapter 11

A/n:  Hey hey!  Um so sorry about this chapyer but I've spent nearly 2 and a half hours on it so ug yeah.  Don't hate me lol.  Please vote and comment, love you love you.

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When all things in my life feel wrong, I write a single letter that is to be burned.  It's almost a way of expressing my feelings without letting anyone in.  So that is what I did Saturday morning at 7:30 a.m after a full night of tears.  

George, 

If there was a word for a feeling of knowing you've lost someone you love and can't get them back, that's what i'm feeling.  Was I not enough for you?  Was I not funny enough, or pretty enough?  Could I have done something to change your mind?  

If there was someone else you longed to be with I suppose I'm glad you ended our relationship.  But I love you, George Weasley, with my entire heart, and you just let me go.  Everyone feels bad for me but that angers me more.  There's so much more I want to tell you...so much more I want to know.  You were my home and my  happiness; and with you they have now disappeared.  

I wish I could tell you one last time how much I love you.  I wish I could tell you that you are my world.  I wish I could tell you one last time that I need you.  But that's it; you've made your decision and I'm left with half a heart.

Y/n.

I walked over to the fireplace and stared into the flames, then at the letter.  I couldn't do it; I couldn't let go yet.  So I walked back over to the shelf and opened my box, inside were letters and corners of parchment George had left notes on.  I sighed before dropping my letter into the box and tucked it back onto the shelf.  

Class the next week was slow and difficult as assignments piled on top of eachother.   Professor Umbridge was being harsher than ever while Dumbledore was gone and rumors quickly spread of a detention strategy she was using by students carving words into their hands.  George and I still hadn't spoken let alone make eye contact in D.A.D.A which was now our only class after he coincidentally dropped Herbology the week following our breakup.  

"O.W.L.s are in eight weeks!  It seems that none of you are even close to the standards that are needed to be met in order to be prepared for the exams!  So today we are partnering up to do a new activity", Professor Umbridge declared standing in her pink uniform at the head of the classroom.  She began listing off partnering groups as I drew small circles on my textbook when my name was unfortunately called.  "Ms.  L/n with Mr. Weasley", my head rose instantly and I covered the sound that tried to escape my throat with a cough.  She smiled down from George to I as if she knew exactly what she was doing by pairing us together.  

After she explained the 'activity' I stared straight down at the table as I expectedly waited for George to take the seat next to me.  Finally I heard someone clear their throat and pull back the chair that was scarily close to my own.  "Um, I can, or you uh-", George started as I pulled out a new piece of parchment from my bag.  "You can write the names of each spell and I'll write the definitions.  I have work to do later so can we please start?", I asked still staring at the desk.  He didn't reply.  He just began to copy spells from the textbook.  It was pathetic. 

I rolled my eyes before finally stating, "You're copying  down the wrong terms, were meant to be on pages 433-444.  Maybe if you paid attention-", I started without even realizing the loudness of my voice.  "I", George started before Umbridge spoke out, "Mr. Weasley.  You are not to be talking during class.  You and Ms. L/n had your minute to discuss but it has now ended.  You have earned yourself one detention after class this evening", she chirped in her annoying voice.  I mindlessly spoke out, "He didn't even say anything!  I was talking not him, he doesn't deserve a detention".  She rose her eyebrows while wearing the fake smile she always had on, "Alright then.  If you'd like to take your little boyfriends place, I won't stop you.  Same time, don't be late!" I almost croaked before replying, "Oh... we uh aren't", but she interrupted, "No talking during class Ms. L/n!", and so I stopped, trying to ignore the feeling of George's eyes staring at me for a couple of seconds before turning his head back to his assignment.

Professor Umbridge's  office was quite like herself; overwhelmingly pink and obnoxious.   She guided me toward a chair in front of her desk and handed be a quill and parchment.  At least I didn't have to carve into my hand.  Just some lines.  "Now, Ms. L/n, I'd like you to write down this, 'I mustn't interrupt class'.  You may begin", she explained as she stared down at me with a expecting smile.  I began to write when a sharp pain exploded through the back of my hand.  I tried to ignored it and quickly finished the sentence.  Just before I was about to ask how many times to write the line another sharp pain went through my hand.  I finally looked down and saw small words carved into my hand.  The words on the parchment, 'I mustn't interrupt class' were now carved into my hand.  I shot my eyes to professor Umbridge as I tried to stop myself from breaking down.  I feared that speaking would cause me to cry so I just stared at her.  "Well, I think you've learned your lesson.   You are dismissed!", she chirped.  I quickly stood up and turned out of the room as hot tears ran down my burning face.  I hadn't seen my parents in eight months, George has broken up with me, a professor is using physical harm against students, and the Dark Lord is rumored to have returned.  What more could possibly go wrong?

I finally entered my dorm after D.A.D.A and wiped the few tears off my face before changing into a jumper and sweatpants.  I went to my mirror and flipped my hair down to tie it up but when I looked back up, there he was.  I widened my eyes and stared into his reflection before finally breaking the silence, "Hello", was all I could managed to say.  "Did she do it?  Did she use the quill?", he asked with a straight careless face.  "It doesn't matter, please leave."  I replied trying my best to be demanding.  But it was true, I didn't really want him to leave just yet.  

"Can you please just answer my question?", he demanded.  I turned toward him, "Why do you care?", and turned on my heal once more facing my reflection again.  With that he grabbed my wrists and spun me back to him.  "George-", but before I could finish my sentence he was gently flipping my hands to their backs.  He took in a deep breath when he saw my hand, and while still staring at them he said, "You shouldn't have done that in class.  It was stupid".  I stared at him in disbelief before saying, "Stupid?  Are you seriously calling me stupid right now?  Why don't we talk about last Monday, eh?  You just breaking up with me and not letting me say anything at all?  I mean if you ask me that was you being kind of stupid.  Like, really, in the middle of the hallway?", I spoke quickly without hesitation.  He stared down at me as his face redened, "I know it was stupid...but it was time" was his reply.  "What does that mean 'it was time'?  I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you but you know how hard it is to keep up with school!  So Why?  Why was it time for us to break up?", I questioned him not breaking our gaze.  His lips parted slightly then closed again as if he decided I shouldn't know.

  "Whatever Weasley", I said as I quickly walked over to my chair where his "G" sweater was folded neatly.  "Maybe you'd care to explain your little scene with Malfoy?  It seems you care a little to much about this whole situation to be fooling around with him, eh?", he questioned as he followed me to the other side of my room.  I scoffed and rolled my eyes at his remark.  "You are so full of yourself George.  To be honest I'd think you were Fred if you didn't look like...like you", I replied.  I picked up the sweater and made my way to my shelf.  "It's an honest question.  Is he like you're new boyfriend or something?", he asked.  I laughed at this one and took the box of notes off my shelf and shoved both it and the sweater into his arms.  "That is the most stupid thing I have every heard come out of your mouth, Weasley".  

He ignored my statement and looked down into his hands.  "...Whats this?", he asked in a quiet voice.  The sadness in his voice surprised me but I wasn't going to let him see me cry.  Not now. "I've wasted to many tears on you George Weasley.  This is me letting go", my voice cracked a bit at the end when I realized I had led him backwards out the door.  But this was it.  Here we were.  Me inside the door frame and him right outside it, a tear streaming down his face, breaking me.  "Goodbye...", I whispered to him.  And after a moment of hesitation, I closed the door.  

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I miss when we were new to love.