Love Schemes

II.

"Happy Valentine's Day, whores," Sirius sang as he flopped down on the couch in the common room, where James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, Frank, and Alice were sitting. There was limited seating in the corner they had claimed, so Sirius laid across Remus and Marlene's laps on the couch, Alice and Frank sat on the window sill, Peter watched Mary and Dorcas played wizard chess on the floor, and James and Lily were squashed in a huge arm chair. It was only a bit too small for them, considering they were still quite small as well.

"Hello, Sirius," Lily said dully, turning the page of her muggle magazine.

"Can we really be called whores if all of us are single and haven't kissed or dated anyone yet?" Frank squinted his eyes at a plant diagram in the book he had been reading. "Besides you, Sirius."

Sirius sighed loudly, then sat in silence for a few minutes. Eventually, he sighed again and sat up.

"So..." everyone looked at Sirius, "who does everyone fancy?"

Remus snorted. "As if we would say."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Alright then, raise your hand if you fancy someone."

Remus, Peter, James, Dorcas, Marlene, Alice, and Frank raised their hands. Sirius went to raise his, but hesitated, then put it down. James cocked his head to the side.

"Why the hesitation, Siri?"

Sirius shrugged. "Dunno. I feel like I fancy someone, but I don't know who."

James nodded and turned to Lily.

"So, Evans, do you fancy anyone?"

"Nope."

James' face fell for a split second, but he covered it with a cocky grin, and the hurt in his eyes was gone as soon as it came.

"No one at all?"

"Nope. Why, do you fancy me?" Lily turned the page and continued to read while James spluttered.

"No! Merlin, no, of course not!" His face was bright red as he turned back to look out the window. Sirius snorted and James threw a quill at him. Sirius caught the quill and put it between his teeth, winking at Remus. Remus rolled his eyes and looked back to his book, shaking his head. Sirius sighed and dropped the quill.

"This is no fun. We cant just move around being single all day." Sirius crossed his arms and scowled at the floor.

"Well what do you suggest we do?" Alice asked from where she was watering the plants by the window. "If you haven't noticed, we're in second year. Don't you think that's a bit young to be dating?"

"I suppose so. James thought I was going crazy earlier this year when I wanted to ask out Marlene." Sirius laughed when he saw Marlene's shocked face. "Don't worry, Marls, I'm not interested anymore."

"May I interject?" Marlene raised her hand.

"You may." Sirius gestured for her to speak.

"Yes, well, I'm a lesbian so... don't ask me out unless you want to be rejected."

"Alright then," Sirius clapped his hands. "Let's play a new game called find McKinnon a girlfriend!"

Marlene slapped his head and Sirius yelped, falling off of the couch with a thump. When he sat up from the ground, his hair was mussed and he wad scowling, rubbing his head.

"That fucking hurt, McKinnon!"

"That's what you fucking get, Black!"

"Don't fucking call me that!"