Without Him (Takagi San fanfic)

Chapter 5: Regrets

A/N I don't have much to say other than thanks to everyone keeping up with the story. If you haven't noticed, I am getting super unmotivated to write. much unlike last week so im not sure how often I will upload.

Takagi's POV:

(I could not believe the courage on him. He kissed me, twice! But of course in a near death situation your bound to cry your heart out. in case you never see them again... 

never see him again....

 NO NISHIKATA!)

Nishikata's POV:

(I sat up again. Weightless. I am dead. I can see Takagi crying by my bed. i went to hug her but i was stopped.)

"You can't do that" My grandma said she was wearing her favorite blue and gold dress. She also looked about 40. She looked so peaceful in her state. not in pain like the last time I saw her.

But I was cross. "WHAT WHY NOT"

"she can feel your presence, its best not to give her hope. And I've been watching you, there's no way she won't give up everything to find you. You cannot do that to her"

"SHE'S GONNA FEEL THAT EITHER WAY!"

"That maybe true but if she thinks you still exist on earth, she won't stop looking."

"Fine." I knew I was crying but there were no tears only an empty sadness. I had no tears to cry without a body.

"I know its hard but why don't you come up to heaven with me, huh?" she said lovingly but it only felt like she was tearing me away from Takagi.

"NO, i don't want to leave. I want to stay by Takagi's side forever. I'm not leaving until she sees me again." I still felt like I was crying but I just couldn't

"The only way to stay on earth is if you have any true regrets. But you kissed her and accomplished everything you desired. There's nothing you can do. I'm sorry"

"NO, I haven't finished school, I haven't gone to college. I haven't even been out of the country. There's so much i want to do. I can STAY HERE"

"Yuki Sweetie. It doesn't work like that. Your soul does not desire those things. Those are wants, not desires."

"I DON'T CARE. Takagi said she needed to tell me something. " (If only we had kissed right there. on the side of the road, out of danger) I thought to myself 

(I turned to grandma, she looked astonished)

"Oh no Yuki"

"what?" I said still sort of angry

"You have the worst regret of all. You desire the past to be changed. This is bad Yuki" she looked grim

(How did she read my mind)

"There's no point in thinking as a spirit. every other spirit can hear your thoughts as if you said them. Heaven has a special power that blocks out every ones thoughts. Trust me as soon as you step into the gates, you will feel nothing but love for Takagi"

"No I wont because I won't be there to comfort her. I love her too much to be without her"

"Yuki Nishikata!" she was furious but I did not care. There was nothing she could do to stop me.

"You listen here boy, if you keep thinking like that you will never be accepted into heaven. Is that what you want. Living a sad afterlife without Takagi?"

"NO of course not"

"Then come up to heaven before you get revoked for having a regrets!" she almost was shouting, but I was the only one that heard.

"I- can't I just- can't" I said on my hands and knees

"Yuki, please... please come with me"

"I told you I can't." my head was in my hands. "its too painful to leave her"

"Yuki, I already told you. You won't feel any pain when you get through the gates." she said back in her loving voice.

(this sensation of not having any tears to cry was only building on my anger. Why can't I cry for her? I wish I could hold her in my arms one last time.)

"Yuki c'mon. Let's go" grandma said raising her arm for me to grab.

"Fine" I grabbed the outstretched arm

(Goodbye Takagi... I hope to see you again)

(Please don't forget me)

A/N that was a sad chapter to write and I would really like some feedback. Am I going too slow? or maybe too fast? Should I put others POV or keep it just them two? Should I add more thought and feeling? Or more dialogue? IDK! please help. this is only my first story.

Don't forget to smile,

Starco