NAJMA | Unedited

22.

"...Seeing you cook while humming and swaying did turn me on and I can't help but let my friend in you right now"

"Wh-what?" I stutter, not believing my ears.

"Yes, now please be a good girl and lie down" he says but that sounded more like a command.

"No Ismael, I don't wan" he cuts me by putting his lips on mine, forcefully kissing me and I tried as much as I can to stop him but I guess I'm too weak for this man.

"Stop pushing me away !" He says after finally leaving my swollen lips. "I'm your husband so I have every fucking right on you !"

"No no no Ismael let me go please"

Not listening to me, he kisses me again and again till I give up pushing him. What's the point in trying if I know I'll never win ? What's the point in pushing my husband if I knew this day will come ? Ok I know I will eventually consummate my marriage but I never knew it will be done this harsh way. Not like this, it's supposed to be moment of pleasure where the husband and wife make love and not war.

"Good girl" he smirks after realizing I stopped pushing him and I feel like puking just seeing his face.

He finally gets off of me then makes his way to the bathroom and comes back shortly but if I knew what awaits me, I would've ran to Leila's room but I guess I'm just that stupid girl who doesn't think clearly when she's in tears.

He comes back with two handcuffs in his hand and I instantly feel my heartbeat pacing, my eyes widening and my mouth ajar. Before I could do anything, my left hand found itself in his trap followed by the other at the sides of the bed.

"Ismael what are you doing ?"

"Look, I love you baby and I'm doing what's the best for us. We need kids don't we ?" and I nod in acceptance because yes I want to have kids.

"But not this way"

He smirks and makes me drink something forcefully "Oh sure it will be this way !" and lets his trouser fall followed by his boxer and what comes next is something that my vision didn't allow me to witness.

•••

Waking up, I feel my head pounding so hard that I can barely open my eyes. The headache must be as a result of the nightmare I had and hopefully this will never come true. I close my eyes, trying to sleep again after seeing the time since it's not yet fajr but I feel my inner thighs paining as if I did sport after a year of not doing.

After an hour or so, I wake up again and get off of the bed to go to bathroom. While walking though, I feel like my private part is sore so I hurriedly reached the bathroom, turned on the light and to my greatest surprise, there are red marks on my wrists. Could it be ? No it couldn't ! Ismael can never do such a thing. No no. No !

To soothe the pain, I take a very hot bath which at the beginning was very painful but eventually relaxing then perform ghusl (ritual washing of the whole body) because I'm not sure of what Ismael has done to me before praying to Allah. Praying that He brings back that nice and gentle Ismael I used to know and guide me to the right path. That is, to stay with Ismael after what happened or to go. I mean, couples do fight but they don't do the r word. No that's not appropriate.