The Lust We Run On

Chapter 16

Tord's P.O.V

Tom slammed the door as he left the room in a rush. My laugh died down and I let out a heavy sigh.

I knew Tom was right. I know everything he said was true. There was nothing for me to worry about. I had absolutely nothing to worry about and I was completely aware of that. But the feeling of being doubted still lingered. Like I knew Tom was a real human. It's just... Why can't I ever be believed in? Why is everything I say have to be perceived as a joke or a lie?

The only times I'm ever taken seriously was in college presentations and in business transactions. Why? Literally No one listens to me. The only people who ever seemed to truly listen to me is Paul, Pat, Tom and, a majority of the time, Matt. But even at that, they can't seem to understand me.

To make it worse; my workers do as they're told, but in the end, they still don't listen to me half the time. And God knows when's the last time Edd listened to anyone. It's all very annoying but it was something I learned to deal with. Maybe in the future I'll be taken more seriously.

But regardless, the situation still really fucking pisses me off! It's just... Just... So, fucking frustrating!

Why can't I be understood for once?! Why can't anyone besides those I truly trust listen to me?!
Why does it seem like no one cares about what I have to say?!
Why does everyone seem to ignore me?!

Why? Why?! WHY?! "Agh!" I growled in distress and swung my foot in a swift kick straight into my headboard.

"Faen!" I hissed out and tumbled back onto the floor. I cradled my throbbing foot in my hands as I let out heavy breaths.

It's pointless to be mad! It's pointless to be mad. Just forget about it. Let it slide by like you've always let it before. You never let it bother you before, don't let it start bothering you now.

I repeated this in my head three or four times before taking a deep breath and exhaling heavily, "All right... Gotta take a shower..." Mumbling to myself, I pushed myself up from the floor and gathered my things.

The shower didn't take long. It was cold and quiet. No unwanted thoughts invaded my barren mind. My issues already locked behind closed doors of other inner turmoil. Just me, the sound of the water running and the numbing sensation the freezing water gave off.

It was oddly refreshing but my chest still felt heavy. Ignoring the feelings, I continued to get ready. Slipping on a clean nicer pair of dark jeans and a red t-shirt.

I looked into the bathroom mirror and took a deep breath, "Let's get this over with... Faster I can get home, sooner I can lay in bed with Tom..." The thought brought me instant comfort and joy. A faint smile pulled at my lips and I grabbed a pair of shoes and a slightly worn leather jacket.

Heading out the living room, the remaining feeling of distress from earlier was left behind in my room, leaving me only eagerness for my return back home, yet dread as to spending an extensive amount of time with Edd.

Tom and Matt still sat at the living room. But both now sported a glass of deep red wine, "Feeling better, Tord? You seemed a little anxious coming in." Matt asked gently watching me sit next to Tom.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just a tough day at work." I hummed and laced up my shoes, ignoring Tom's stare bore into my head. "Business has been picking up a bit so we're a little more busy than usual."

Tom let out the slightest sigh, "Well that's certainly good for you but better make sure not to over work yourself, mkay?" He placed a hand on my knee and gave it a small squeeze, "When you feel overwhelmed step back a take a few deep breaths... You don't want to do anything irrational... " I knew Tom was referring to earlier and I knew he was right. But I already pushed it behind me. I think.