Love Exists

2nd love: Hard love

At first, Siyeon thought she would never love again after Yoohyeon. It was understandable because it was her first love after all. With time, however, she managed to get through it. She was open to love again. This time she knew there were risks, but she felt more prepared. In college, she met Handong, a Chinese transfer student. Despite both of them being quite shy, they became friends almost instantly as they were assigned to work on a project together and Siyeon was glad to have someone by her side again. They worked together well, their project was done at the speed of light. Both of them agreed that they deserved a rest, deciding to go to the cinema on Friday together. Siyeon was happy to finally have one day off as school had been nothing but stressful for the past weeks. She spent a lot of time with Handong, but hanging out with her and not talking about anything school-related sounded wonderful.

That was why Siyeon had arrived much sooner than they scheduled. She was aware that Handong wouldn't just magically appear sooner, but she was simply too excited. Plus it wasn't like she minded waiting a bit longer. It was already dark outside, only Moon's reflection along with street lamps providing everyone with light during this early spring night. Siyeon lightly pulled her jacket closer as the cool wind slightly picked up. She started regretting arriving sooner, but that thought was discarded the moment a car parked near the cinema and a brunette stepped out. She locked the car door and headed Siyeon's way. Siyeon stood frozen in her spot and it wasn't because of the cold.

The brunette stood a bit farther away from Siyeon and faced the street, obviously waiting for someone. Siyeon started to feel like a creep by stealing so many glances at the girl, but she couldn't help herself. She noticed the other girl was much shorter than her, but her figure was fit. Siyeon guessed she was for sure doing some sort of sport or just staying in shape in general. That wasn't the only thing she noticed though. She noticed the brunette was dressed very lightly, making it quite obvious that she wasn't prepared to be waiting for a long time. So when Siyeon noticed the girl shiver slightly, she used the chance.

"Hi." she approached the stranger slowly, not wanting to scare her away. The brunette turned her head towards Siyeon and chuckled. "Hello?"

"I don't wanna sound like a creep, but...I noticed you're a bit cold." Siyeon admitted and scratched her own neck. She hadn't gotten better at social interactions at all. She often wondered where her talking skills disappeared. Probably stayed in kindergarten. 

"Mhm totally not creepy at all." the brunette shook her head, but her smile was bright. Siyeon liked her. She was so easy to talk to despite Siyeon basically making a fool of herself in front of her. Without any more words, Siyeon took off her own jacket and wrapped it around the girl's shoulders.

"But you-"

"I'll be fine, don't worry about it," Siyeon reassured her even though that was a lie. But she could handle a bit of cold if it meant this girl would feel warm. The brunette pulled the jacket closer, a soft smile dancing on her lips.

"I'm Bora by the way." she introduced herself and Siyeon was glad that she now had a name to put to the face.

"Siyeon."

They stayed silent after that, eyes lingering for a second before looking away shyly. Siyeon once again felt the odd tug in her chest. She thought she only imagined it there so she shrugged it off.

"Waiting for someone special?" she decided to keep the conversation going for a bit longer.

"I wish. Unfortunately, it's just my friend." Bora rolled her eyes playfully.

"Ahh, I see. So no one special in your life?"

Bora faced her, eyebrow raised and amusement visible on her face.

"Oh my, aren't you a bit straightforward?"

Siyeon only shrugged and smiled innocently.

"Well, if you really wanna know then....no, I don't have anyone special. How about you?" Bora returned the question.

"Nope. I'm just a lonely soul." Siyeon sighed dramatically causing Bora to laugh and lightly smack her shoulder.

"So you're just going to movies by yourself?"

"Oh no, with my friend as well."

As if on cue, Siyeon noticed Handong approaching them. She waved at her friend to come over to them. She introduced the two girls and it didn't take long for the fourth girl to join them. It was Bora's friend, Gahyeon. All of them chatted together and eventually ended up sitting next to each other in the cinema. Handong and Gahyeon both noticed the way Siyeon and Bora were stealing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. The two other friends agreed on a match-making plan. The first step was done the moment when they made the two of their friends sit by each other during the movie. Handong and Gahyeon high-fived each other and then focused on the screen. On the other side, however, Siyeon had a hard time focusing on the movie as she felt the weird tug once again. She lightly put her hand on her chest, feeling her heartbeat. It wasn't abnormally fast, but it wasn't regular either. Bora, with the corner of her eye, noticed Siyeon's behaviour. She reached with her hand, taking Siyeon's and interweaving their fingers together. She then placed their hands on her own thigh and gave Siyeon a reassuring smile. Siyeon was stunned in her seat, heartbeat picking up its pace. At least now she was sure that this was the same feeling she had with Yoohyeon. But this time, she felt that it grew faster. It flared up much faster than before.

After the movie ended, they exchanged numbers, promising to text each other as soon as they get home. And they did. Bora was the first one to text, Siyeon replying to her almost instantly. They talked about the movie for a bit before drifting into other random topics. As Bora was about to say good night, Siyeon gathered up her courage and asked her out on a date. Bora told her that she would reply in the morning, leaving Siyeon feeling uneasy for the whole night. In the end, it was worth it though. Bora agreed and that was how their relationship began.

Siyeon felt that she fell hard and fast. But she didn't care. She was in love again. Her chest was fluttering upon their blooming love and she missed this feeling greatly. Bora filled every empty and silent corner of Siyeon's apartment with love and joy.

This love felt different yet familiar. This time the rumbling of her chest was more intense when Bora was around. The kisses weren't as shy and soft as before. Not always at least. They grew more passionate, touches were more intimate. She hadn't felt like this with Yoohyeon. They were too young after all. But this feeling excited her. It was new and there were so many things to explore. She was a bit nervous, but Bora reassured her that everything would be fine. While it was Siyeon's first time, Bora had a bit of experience.  Siyeon was shy at first which was understandable, but with time she grew more comfortable and Bora was also happy to see this whole new side to her. 

Of course, their relationship wasn't just that. It was much more. Starting from the sleepy morning kisses, continuing with quite a dramatic parting to their schools to then meeting up for their date and in the end, being back together under the sheets. Many I love yous were exchanged and Siyeon's heart jumped every single time she said it. It didn't matter if she said it out loud in a park just to tease Bora or if she murmured it against the soft lips. It always brought joy to her.

Few years passed and as their love flared up fast, they were bound to get burnt. Slowly they started to get into more and more fights. Sometimes over serious matters, but sometimes even silly things. They broke up a couple of times just to meet each other again and makeup, promising to try harder. Sadly, it always ended the same, making them be stuck in a circle. Siyeon started to be extremely burdened by it as this was no longer the relationship she wanted. They shared different opinions on many things and couldn't compromise. They had different priorities in life, one not meeting the requirements of the other. They both saw that the relationship was holding them back, slowly destroying them. It was becoming toxic despite them still having some sort of romantic feelings towards each other. But when it reached the point, Siyeon put a stop to it. It was a mutual agreement to end their relationship, but Siyeon's heart was hurting extremely. It felt like it was shattered into millions of pieces despite her brain telling that this was unavoidable. She had suffered many heartbreaks throughout the relationship, but this time she knew this was the last one. Making it even more painful. She thought now that she was older, she finally found the one she would spend her life with, but she was mistaken. Now she truly started to question whether something like true love existed. Whether it was possible to have the love that would last her whole life.