Him

Her

Him.

Charter One

As I approach the corner, I started to feel the butterflies in my stomach starting to form, they start to grow stronger when I realise that I have made it to my first day of college. I have finally made it here, the fact that I am standing outside this building right now is so surreal, I mean I have dreamt about these few moments since I can remember. I was eight when we first moved here, I missed home so bad and I just could not settle. One day, I wanted to skip school so badly that I managed to fall Mum into keeping me off. Of course, my dad knew better so he came back on his lunch break and told my mum that he needed me for an important duty that only I could do. All it took was for dad to give mum his huge smile and a hug from behind for mum to cave in and say yes to whatever it is that dad wanted at the time. I mean if it meant I did not have to go to school then I was more than happy to be at service for my dad. In the end, dad took me down to the lake for lunch, on our way back I remember passing this building and fell completely in love with the building, dad saw that moment and told me that it was the Guildford school of arts where they produce the best musician, actors and dancers. In that moment I knew that I had to study here, since that day and every day since, every time I pass the building, I cannot help but wonder what it would be like to actually study here, wondering what it would be like to be able to walk through the corridors and walk up the staircases. Here I stand, taking it all in, the beautiful sight of the old structured theatre building known as Guildford Hall high, the school that is known for the greatest performance art department in Kent. It honestly is mind-blowing. It has a certain charm about it, like anything is possible if you are behind those walls. Deep breaths. I have worked so hard to get here, to be here. Here, I am going to be me.
It is more stunning inside, the open atrium was a large open space with tables that's looked like a gathering spot, as it was filled with loads of stalls and tables, there were a bunch of stalls with different extra-curricular tables, I spot the typical high school sports team recruiting what it looked like first years, chest club, art club, the performing of arts section was huge but I continue walking further into the atrium, as my attention was brought to the high ceiling, and the balcony's that sat lead to all the different floors. I was stopped in my tracks when I found myself at the bottom of the central staircase, I felt myself transport into a whole new universe, the staircase has the most breath-taking designed I have ever witnessed in what has felt like a very long time. Inside is so light, and way more modern that I was expecting, the outside looked more aged however, inside looks young and welcoming. It was more beautiful than I could ever have imagined.
I am guided into the Grand theatre, where we have been informed by the guides that there would be a welcome assembly that we have to listen to. I follow the directions that I was giving for the assembly and realise that the assembly will be taking place in the main theatre. I have imagined in my head to the finest details what I thought the Grand theatre would look like. I have been in love with the arts since I could walk and talk. I used to entertain my whole family all the time, by the time I was six I was creating my own shows and holding my own residency in the living room every weekend for anyone and everyone that would come to visit my parents and siblings to see. As I locate the door, my anxiety begins to slowly creep in, I cannot believe I am finally walking into the Grand theatre. Where do I sit? I already start to over analyse everything, I just need to try and block the nausea out. If I just keep walking up a few steps then I can just slide into an empty row not near the front but not too far back, I mean I am not trying to go by unnoticed, I just do not fancy being the centre of attention of absolutely nothing, highlight of the day or punch line of any joke. I took of my bag and placed it on the chair next to me, I take off my coat and took a look into the planner that the lady handed me as I walked in. I thought it would be best to quickly scan the schedule for the day so I know what to expect. It looks like after the welcome assembly, we get introduced to our tutor, then there's a planned tour lead by thirds years finished by a taster session for each subject we are taking, so it looks like I have English, Drama and Psychology. I still cannot work out why I picked psychology over music, especially with me coming here for the performing arts department, I can't even start to think about unpicking why I don't play anymore, but here we are; I continue to work out which order my tasters sessions are in from the schedule. I wonder what my drama teacher is going to be like, I need all the inspiration I can get right now, I wonder what my classmates are going to be like. I cannot do another year feeling like I am surrounded by the dreaded fact that I'm not going to be much in this crazy life I find myself waking up in. Honestly for the last sixth teen years I have been asking myself, what processed my parents in having me. Growing up all I remember is being happy, surrounded by love and joy, never missing out or not feeling like I belonged, but growing up has taught me a lot.
I am brought out of my thoughts by the full room of students clapping for the Head of Year, Mrs Pain. Her name does not match her though, she looks like the sweetest most innocent person I have seen so far, she had short hair to match her small petite frame. She started the assembly by welcoming the first years, with a few opening quotes that she sawn that she has lived by since her own teacher quoted them to her. I pretty much block out the rest of the welcome assembly because I was too busy people watching, I find myself doing that a lot lately. Everyone seems to know someone. The group of boys at the front all look like they have known each other for forever, the group of girls to the left are all laughing and joking and then there is me. A five-foot six medium black teenager with short bouncy curls, a weird shape of a body, thick legs, with a slim waist with a stomach for days and doctor martin boots on my feet. Sat there face deep in my itinerary trying not to let the anxiety creep in, desperately hoping that no one is watching me, the irony.
Finally, I was pulled out of my thoughts by the person next to me politely asking to get past. I quickly move my legs to let them pass and watch as they go to introduce themselves to the group of people right in front of me. The welcome assembly was over, so I quickly grabbed my coat and bag from the seat next to me and I head straight for the double doors that I was so desperate to make it through. I opened the map that came in the welcome pack, next up was tutor. I quickly searched for the room number that I am supposed to find my way too. East wing in the Sir James building room 133. I quickly find the right route for the Sir James building. I honestly had no clue there was so much more to this beautiful building that I have been staring at from the outside for all these years.
I locate my tutor room and walk into the classroom; I quickly enter and slip into the closest chair that I see, I get out my note pad and search for a pen, which of course was hiding somewhere in the bottom of my beg, I have no idea what I was planning to write but at least it kept me busy from looking around and feeling like everyone is judging me, which totally is not a thing. Again, I am brought out of my thoughts for what felt like the tenth time today already, I really need to get a hold of getting lost in my thoughts.
I look up and my eyes are met by a girl who does not seem to know about personally boundaries or what an indoor voice is but, she seems friendly. "Hey I am Gabby is this seat taken?" erm no, I quickly move my bag and my chair to allow space for Gabby to get into the table. "Phewww well that was exhausting, it took me forever to find this room, like honestly how many different miniature buildings, do you need attached to another big building, with more mini building inside it, mind-blowing honestly, oh shot I am so sorry I forgot to introduce myself properly. I am Gabby Reid, I am a first year, well of course I am duh, if we are in the same tutor, anyway I am doing Chemistry, Psychics oh and Psychology. What about you?" I.. I... oh gosh what am I even saying "hey, I am Lila... I mean, Lila Riley nice to meet you." I go to shake Gabby's hand but of course she is a hugger, she quickly grabs me into a strong embrace and responses just as boldly. "Hey, wicked name, it is absolutely lovely to meet you.", how long did it take for you to find this room Gabby said. I cannot actually remember how long it took me to get here, i just followed the map that I was given by the guide in the atrium when I first arrived. About 5 minutes or so I said back to Gabby. 'ah I see, well I need to get better at finding my way through this place, I must warn you I do not have the best sense of direction. Did you go to the welcome assembly this morning, I do not recall seeing you. What did you think of the assembly? I am so excited to get stuck into everything, I picked up like one of everything from the extra-curricular stalls, my aim is to try everything once! I can already feel it is going to be a good year. Did you see anything you like? We should totally sign up to something new together.
My attention is then brought to the guy who just looked up at us and laughed. I was too busy talking to Gabby and all the steals she was interested in to even have notice that the room already started to get busy. I was suddenly more interested to know how much of the conversation he had heard between Gabby and I, staying under the radar seems to be having its fair share of challenges already. even though I think I just caught him ears dropping he does not seem to prose any harm He actually seemed pretty friendly too, he had a massive smile. "Alright girls, I'm Smith but everyone calls me Grims, nice to meet you" Of course Gabby took that as her opening to leap into a massive conversation about who she is, what's she's studying and what she plans to do with the rest of her life. I'm quite surprised she did not ask the obvious question about the fact he said nickname is called "Grims".
"What have you got next" Gabby said, towards my direction. I do not know if she is sensing my nervousness or if she's noticed me looking down at my Drama curriculum list, either way, I welcomed the distraction for a moment. I have my Drama introduction first and then English and Psychology. Gabby's eyes almost popped out of her head when I said I had Psychology after English. "No way you're doing psychology too, I hope we have the same teacher", what room are you in? I get distracted as Grim's started to make a weird little swan origami figure in front of me, and of course my awkward ass gets caught staring. I try to focus back on to whatever Gabby was saying even though I have no idea what she has been gabbing on about for the last couple of minutes, I just nod as if I was paying full attention. Of course, Grims is sitting there clear as day mocking the fact that he clearly knows that I have been fascinated by his little swan creation. Before it Is too late, my eyes meet Grim's face, his just sat there like a happy old luckily layed back guy, in his chair with his origami grinning away. That must be what Grims stands for because that grin of his is bold. "Hey ladies, how's your first day going?", Gabby straight away, started chatting away about how amazing the assembly was and how keen she was too do well and be all successful. I just could not help but be anxious about what was waiting up ahead of me.
I have always been the one to be stuck in a book, losing myself into a fantasy world where there were always happy endings. I cannot say that my life was full of happy endings but it was always nice to be able to escape into the world that I created for myself and only myself. I just about survived high school, but I knew that I never really fitted there. I cannot really put my finger on it but I always felt like I was born in the wrong time period. Maybe I should have been born in the sixties or seventies. Even though I know it was not easy back then too but it is surely better than trying to fit into the box that society has created for you. To be successful, to have the career, the house, the perfect family. I just want to be able to get through my day to day yet alone thinking about shaping my whole life every single time I get up and step through the doors that I call my home.
Tutor lasted about half an hour, we went through our timetables and got even better maps of the school, our tutor was friendly and ensured us that we were on the beginning of a wonderful journey and that we will all going to have the most perfect three years together here at Guildford High. I can only hope. It was time to go to the first introduction lesson of the day. First up I have psychology it turns out that, Gabby and I are in fact in the same class, she checked my whole timetable against hers and was already planning our best route to lunch after we met each other after each lesson. I was kind of glad that I met Gabby, at least I know one person I can sit next to. The bell rang, which meant that we needed to start making it to our next class in order to get there in time. Gabby and I headed out together, hoping that this museum of a building would be easier to navigate with the both of us attacking it together.