Jack's PTSD

chapter 21: Jack's chat

'Shit Hurt's me right now like I'm sat here and all I can really think about is how you done us all wrong.

I get told to let it all go and that it's all over but I can't help but fear for my life every god damn day, see I try my hardest to get by and to go well the the flow day in and day out but all I can really see or think about is how he done what he done.

Like I hate how I grew up and I hate what happened to me and my sister's all I can think about is how the person who I looked up to the most who I trusted with my life would just do that to me and my sisters' Jack said

'I hate how I would never get to say that I hate him to his face and how I never did get the closure that I deserve.

It doesn't really shock me anymore just makes me wonder really, like if their out there and doing this to other people then what is the world coming to? It just doesn'ake any sense to have a system based on justice but there to be no justice for families like mine,

I honestly sent D.H a few text's, angry at first but then I kind of stopped being angry as what's the point? I wrote my book and I felt better, I started writing a book after that but I don't feel that one so I'm considering just quitting and ending my ten year contract because I can't really focus on anything other than what he done to me and my sister's' Jack added

'I don't understand how anyone could do anything like that to someone and get away with it especially kid's, without them the human race would die off,

Like their our future, our tomorrow and they are our yesterday, how sick must someone be to do anything like that to a child or a person at all, it's wrong,

Like it might jot be scarey to the people who have read it but it was a horrific and a terrifying experience for me and my sister's, my brother Anthony was and still is none of the wiser to the situation, he know's what went off but he doesn't remember it in the slightest and he doesn't want to know which is understandable' Jack said before he took a sip from his coffee,

'I wish that none of that happened to me or my sister's, I mean seeing my mum drugged up and passed out on the sofa a cyan color was fucking terrific like I didn't know if she was going to wake up in the morning, I thought my mum was dead' he mentioned emotionally,

'I hated it and ever since 2005 I have never felt like I was shit, you know? I got beat constantly by family and friends, I got violent and my personality split and it just kept on splitting man

It's defense and I wouldn't be alive without my lad's or support system, I got a beautiful wife who show's me love and care every second of every day, she's always there,

I have a relationship with my mum now and that's something that I missed, a Dad who's like my best mate, I got my brother's who I try to build Bond's with, I hear from Jess every once in a while and Annabell is the same way,

I wrote this book risking it all and it helped, but I don't know if I'm going to write more as I dwell between mentally plotting his death and debating getting success' he informed me,

When asked how his mother reacted to her death Jack simply responded with this

'She didn't seem to impressed but she knew that I was angry and was still wanting to keep her safe so I removed them to keep them safe

My only objective was to keep them all safe and away from that man.

If he ever goes near them well he's pretty much a walking course as it is, but I will body his grave.' Jack said in a firey passion,

'I am skitzophrenic so I am expecting him to try to corse trouble, its what narcissists do, they shift the blame,

I was alway's considering learning Psychology but I quickly gave that up when my meantal health declined and got worse inwhich made me feel as well as believe that I couldn't do it and that I just wasn't worth it because of how that man treated me and my sister's,

And as for what I had seen, I will forever be haunted and I will forever hate closing my eye's and I can't sit or settle down anywhere because I feel like he is looking for me everyday still,

I re-live every single one of them experience's every single day, day in and day out, it's hard but at the end of the day there's always a few things that keep's me going' Jack said looking at me determined,

'The thoughts of his death, the love that I receive from my wife and the love that I get from my family it's all I really need and it's all I want, I wrote the book and I feel better for it, I just hope that, that one person out there who's like me, who's been through it and also seen it,

When they read the book as short chaptered that it is, somehow find's it in themselves to be strong because as painful as it all is, we can let itake us or destroy us,

I will never be like that man and I will never do anything like he did and I will forever sware on that, even on my very last breath, as I lay in my coffin,

Until the very end' He added in a determined and motivated manner,

'He can burn in hell for his crime's and he can go and fuck himself for the rest of his life, he isn't worth my death threats or wishe's, he doesn't deserve to be happy,

He deserves eturnal tourcher in the flame's, down in the deepest pit of hell, forever haunted and taughnted by the devil's maniacal laugh.' Jack said as he stood up and left the interview room