Comedy of Confusions

1. Minax -Quest for a Boyfriend

'Suhasini Jayaram is the biggest failure.'

Minax declared, her fair chubby cheeks pink, an after effect of the rum she had been drinking. She brushed her disarrayed short hair away from her eyes, but they stubbornly slipped back to their original position. Her older brother Samanvay, better known as Sam and brother from another mother Srinidhi, better known as Cheney were sitting adjacent to her on either side. Minax put her feet down to stop the gentle rocking of her wicker swing. That Saturday, her parents were out of town attending the wedding of their colleagues' son. Their absence was a great opportunity for the trio to have some 'fun'. Not that she was encumbered as an adult living with her parents. They loved her to bits and there was absolutely never a time when they came between her and her happiness. Just that it was a heady feeling to do something different, a break from the monotony and a much desired but temporary respite from a clawing monster called lonesome weekends.

"Suhasini Jai...?" Alcohol in his bloodstream rendered Cheney incoherent for a few minutes before his brain could finally process the information. beaming a stupid smile, he mumbled " ahhh.. that is you Minax". Like many kids that grew up together, their nicknames had crowded out formal names. 'Nope, I am the biggest failure' he concluded haltingly, clearly the rum was working.

Minax gathered herself rather viciously. "Don't you two dare. You don't come close, not by any measure. You, Sam" Minax turned at attention to her brother, "you are going to be a bloody PhD, a scientist."

"Mind your language Min" Sam's baritone boomed. No alcohol could suppress the older brother in Sam and his need to enforce propriety. Though not a man of many words, his few words mattered. The other two, who mostly blabbered, knew it very well.

"Alright, no bloody.. Only PhD" Minax shrugged, but corrected herself. "Not just any PhD, but a PhD from the top school not just here in Bangalore but best in the whole damn country."

"Language Min" Sam cautioned again.

"Language? my as..." Minax knew better than to trifle with Sam and restrained herself. "I mean... my donkey.. And you think you are a failure only because you only have 2 papers being published and not 5 like you would have ?"

Cheney giggled silly and wagged his fair, tubby finger "donkey... ass... donkey..". Very soon he became the next target and his smile disappeared.

"And you Dr Cheney, I mean Dr Srinidhi Murthy." She referred to his formal name.

A brief childhood fad of watching western sitcoms had ended up giving them their 'cool' nicknames. Srinidhi K murthy was reduced to Cheney, and Samanvay reduced to Sam. Minax's name though was slightly complicated. Though her formal name was Suhasini, her father always called her Meenaxi or Meenamma, when he was extra fond of her, after his late mother, whom he thought his daughter had a great deal of likeness to. As someone who grew up missing his mother, Minax's father had found something in his own daughter that reminded him of his mother. He sometimes forgot this daughter's formal name, so much so that he had put her down as Meenaxi on her passport application. Thankfully the error was noted and fixed before the application went out and Minax got to remain Suhasini, at least formally. The trio had shortened Meenaxi to Minax and further to Min.

Minax stuttered after a pause. "You are going to be an On..co..lo..gi..st, god damn ONCOLOGIST!!! Only the top doctors get to be one. How dare you think of being a failure." Minax grew restless and threw a punch at Cheney, like an unruly spoilt kid that she was. Cheney despite his rum induced stupor ducked.

"You clowns, do you know what failure looks like." Minax continued undeterred. The three had been wallowing in alcohol induced, competitive self pity, playing up their personal failures.