erased | jjk.

twenty

"i'm disgusted."

"of course i'm not like you–"

a slap kissed your cheeks as you felt a warm and aching sensation.

you can't cry–no you shouldn't cry. you shouldn't show them your weak state.

"how can you disrespect me?! you have no shame at all!"

"how can you have sex with men before even if you're married?!"

"what are you saying?"

"you think i don't know? you think i was clueless when you and dad fought every time you leave? did you love dad? did you care for him? did you love me?"

tears fall as you shout the words you've always wanted to tell.

"how come you're so cool that dad died?! huh! tell me! how could you just sell our house and use it for drugs? can't you see that i'm still here? oh i know, maybe you killed dad! maybe you're the one who ended his life!"

"i didn't kill your dad! how can you say that? i was the one who gave you life and raised you and now you'll talk to me like that? you–"

"mom, why did you change?"

and after that, she looked at his boyfriend before leaving the house. you fall on your knees as you feel weak. that wasn't the plan. that wasn't the plan the boys would want to happen.

it was always been like this. she would leave you hanging between your fight. all you can do is to cry and cry until your dry. that's why you love sitting on a swing. it just feels fresh.

like a carefree child.

"why did you come back?" he speaks, "you know it would end like this."

you say, "is it wrong to take my mom back?"

he shrugs, "well i don't care, but i have to do my job."

"what job?"

you gasp as you feel a cold thing pushing itself towards your warm skin. it hurts like hell, but it was nothing compared to what you are feeling inside your soul.

accepting the pain, you try to speak. "w-why?"

"i'm sorry, but i'm trying to take my mom back to life too."

you blink a lot of times as you lie down on the cold floor. a warm pool of red blood is making its way out through your mouth. you couldn't breathe properly.

is this the end? is this how you would die?

suddenly, you think about your dad. reminiscing the past, the times were all you could see was the blue bright sky, holding your colorful kite. somehow, you envied your kite.

because no matter how strong the wind, it still flies.

"h-hey, you know," you gaze at his blurry figure with a smile plastered on your face, "i just realized you're one of those people who made me happy for a short time."

those words made him froze.

"thank you for everything."

"i-"

"there's one thing i would like to say,"

"i've met seven boys who were wonderful, and i thank God for that."

"i'm going to miss them."

he says, "i'm glad you met them."

pitch-black are filling your sight. even if you didn't make it, even if you didn't accomplish your mission, even if you didn't make your mother happy again, you let the angel of death take you. it's still okay. 

maybe, your mother won't change again. but you're still thankful because you shared a beautiful past with her.

"hey, hey-"

dad, we're finally going to meet again.

you close your eyes, holding the memory card which contains your true heart.