Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Light reflects into my eyes as the image in front of me clearly forms. I was unable to decide on how I felt at that exact moment, but I did know that I was extremely anxious. I combed my short and messy blonde hair once again before grabbing my brand new guitar, in a way that you'd presume it would shatter into pieces, and head towards the door. I assure myself that I would be alright, and that I can do it. I can let go of it.
The wind whistles as I step outside my house, hoping to live once again. My feet shift awkwardly, ready to walk on the gravel. My legs slowly drag me towards the only place, my go-to place, that I have been going to for the past month, my mother's grave. The place where no one judges, where tears can fall peacefully, where I can be myself. The place that not once have I thought of before my mother's death.
Since my dear mother's death, I knew that we are not always destined to be happy. Sadness and doubt come and go. I used to doubt my mother's love for me, always screaming and rolling my eyes. But now, I doubt nothing but my ability to live and withstand the hardships that I'm going through.
My thoughts escape my mind as my eyes catch a glance of a tiny red rose, laying on the ground dirty and unwanted. This must be my sign, I think. I leave the graveyard quickly as I say one last goodbye to my mother. I head towards the nearest shop in town. "I would like to sell this," I state. The woman looks at me like I'm insane, "You can't be serious! This is the most expensive guitar in the whole universe!" Again, that. That, their "most expensive thing'" saying. "It doesn't matter, cover the orphanage's needs," I say before I turn my back on her and leave, preventing another word of hatred to escape my throat.
I grip the Rose, not too tight, and allow my eyes to stare at the sharp mountain's peak. I must make that move, I state. The move that will turn my life up again from the upside down. I clench my jaw as I say one last goodbye to my old self.
My legs burn as I sprint like I have never done before. I climb up the mountain, protecting the rose from fleeing away from me. Hold tight, I say, you're almost there. I catch the first third of the mountain's peak as sweat covers my forehead.
My legs tremble and my heart beats quickly. I shut my eyes, taking in a breath. I got too lost in my thoughts. Thoughts of anxiety, stress, reassurance and fear. Fear of losing once again.
I look up at the blue sky. I close my eyes again as I have no control over falling down from the mountain.
My alarm goes off as I jump from my bed, drenched with sweat. I wipe the tears from my eyes and close my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat.
"Dear, where are you?" She calls, "Come to me, I'm at the back!"
