Getting Through Happily

Through The Dark Chapter 5

Connor's POV

*after school*

"What the heck Connor!"
Ally yells to me as she strides, pissed off, to me.

"What??? What did I do?"

"You can't seriously not see it."

"SEE WHAT?!"

"Joseph likes you! And you pretty much just cracked his heart."
She was pissed, really pissed.

Joseph liked me? He couldnt. He can't. I can't be the reason his eyes have been red that whole day, could I? I couldn't be... No Joseph can't like me. I like girls. I have to to. Joseph is just meant to be my friend. I can't like him. I couldn't.

"Have fun on your date with Christy. I'll be helping Joseph."

"Wait! Where's Julie?"

"Crying too. She left for home already though."

Crap... What do I do?How do I fix this. Ally stormed off for Ridgefront and left me there, to wait for Christy. I saw her skip over to me. Her hair bounced aorund - it reminded me of the first day I met her when I was going over to Ridgefront. She was just so pretty - how couldn't I like her? Wait. I didn't mean that. I like her. Really. I do.

She was so beautiful and amazing and nice. She was a dreamgirl. But why didn't this feel right?...

I cant be gay. Could I? There's nothing wrong with it or anything but... I could never imagine myself to be. I have always liked girls - right? I've gone on dates with girls and have dated one or two in my life so far.

Joseph's POV

There was no way Connor could like me. Everyone could see it - I could see it especially. Connor was gay - but of course he had to come out at his own pace. I can't rush that since it's his choice and he has to find it out on his own without force.

That was that atmosphere he gave off. Julie had explained her thoughts to us about why she thinks we feel that whenever he's around.

It was my fault - I kknow he's still finding out his sexuality. Maybe thats why he has been acting weird lately? He is confused. There is nothing really h=that we can do since we can't push him to feel that way. Or think something.

Connor's POV

"I had fun tonight."
I held her hand as we walked out of the movie theater.

"Me too. Thanks for agreeing to come with me. And accepting my homecoming proposal."
She blushed and seemed to go into her jacket more.
"Hey. Are you ok? You've been acting kind of weird lately."

"Weird? I haven't been acting weird. I think? I've just been really tired lately."

"Oh, well. You should get some sleep. Good night."
She smiled to me and let go of my hand. Her small structure stood infront of me and she wrapped her arms around me.

We got stares from other people, they were watching us. I know that I should be feeling something- a spark or something. But i feel nothing. Why don't i feel anything? I should be. This is wrong. This. Just this.

I went home after that not sure what I was thinking or even doing. I keep on almost saying it but it just can't be true.

*it is now Wednesday*

How could I be so blind to Joseph's feelings? What I did to Joseph is so messed up of me... I have know that i'm gay but I could never admit it. How can I fix this?

But what about Christy? Are you two even dating? I don't think so - but we are going to the dance together. No. I have to change that - but she is such a sweet girl.

It's not Christy. It's me. Literally. I see it now.

All those looks I got last night and when people at school sees my and Christy holding hands. The date. The handholding. It's wrong. It's not me. It's not what i should be doing. IT's not how I feel. At least - not with a girl. Connor Franta. You are gay.

You are gay. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Christy and I plan to meet up at schol early today- so that should be a good time to tell her. But what about Joseph?

*at school*

"Oh... Ok. I understand."
Her smile went away but she faked one to try to make me feel better. It didn't. I explained everything to her. Well... Not everything.

"Did I do something wrong? Was I too pushy? IT's only been two days and i made you go on a date with me so-."

"No no! Its not that. It's just that..."

And at that - Christy was the first person I told i was gay to. She understood and her mood brightedned up a lot. She was so happy.

"Go after him! You are Joseph would be so cute together!"

I have to make it cute. Something he won't forget.

Julie's POV

"IT HAS TO BE CUTE IT WIL BE CUTE OH MY GOSH CONNOR. CONNOR IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. DONT WORRY I ACCEPT YOY. AHH I LVE YOU SO MUCH."

I freaked out. Connor told me that he was gay ad he told Ally after ward. I am so so happy like you don't understand. And hes asking Joseph to homeoming! It has to be cute!

Joseph's POV

*friday*

I feel a lot better today. I guess I'll just go with Julie or some other girl to homecoming tonight. I shouldn't of had such high hopes. IT's only sophmore year, anyways so.

Every one seemed to be extra smiley today - yes becuase of omecoming but Julie and Ally have been freaking out so much since yesturday about something. I dont know what or why but they have.

*lunch*

"Joseph Casey please go to the ASB."
My name called over trhe intercom by Ally and all my friends in my grup smiled and looked at me. Sarach and Jenay following.

I walked in a turned the corner. The ASB closed today for some reason. Every one was in there- sitting on the counters and looking at me. All their hands pointed in the same direction - to their blue stairs that led to the up of the ASB. There were pink and red flowers all over the sides of it and an arrow on the way that read "Go up."

Angie pushed me towards that stairs and I went up. What is this?

What was going on? I swear if Julie is just going all out right now.

I walked up and turned the corner again. It was clean, but a trail of flowers and petals was left on the floor. I followed them which led to a full pink rose at the end. And coming out of the closet in the upstairs of this ASB, was Connor.

"Joseph Casey - willyou go to Homecoming with me? ... Oh, and be my boyfriend?"